#attnsapphoxes

[cameronposting]

you don’t understand, you see girls colonized the fucking moon. we kicked aside your chrome and science, your space program political war of worlds bullshit, we went back in time. we collected vases and poems from island temples, wove philosophies in our hair and dripped forbidden juice down our chins. we found a goddess, you see. we ate the sun raw and watched men cower at our feet, begging for light.

HISTORY LESSON / megan r

[orphicnings]

I can taste it on the tip of my ( sword shaped ) tongue, I am swallowing the smell of death ( the rotten fragrance of plucked flowers Death has beautified my hair with in past lives ). “ DEATH’S HERE ” They chant remorse dripping from their wide unblinking eyes in the form of sticky thick blood, their eyes can speak, I see them whispering drowsy slurs into my ear let us fall into slumber angel, rest under the soil angel who has sinned, so we can let our lashes can fall down against hollow cheeks. “ DEATH’S HERE TO KNEAD IT’S FINGERS INTO YOUR SOUL ” There’s a cry and the creaky burnt umber doors slam shut, but I can still see the children peeking through the dusty ( they haven’t been cleaned since the war begun ) windows, waiting for Death to wrap it’s bony fingers around my throat, it always feels the same, like Death is kissing the base of my throat with his winter fingers and dragging his fire-dried lips tiredly to the dimples carved onto my shoulder. His lips are splitting open and he’s sighing words into my ear ( but the words keep thundering in my head ) Death’s lips grazing the soft shell of my brown ear : “ COME WITH ME MY DEAR, FOR YOU HAVE SINNED, COME WITH ME BEFORE YOUR EMPIRE FALLS UNDER YOUR SKIN ” I ask him repeatedly why do they glare suns at me with unblinking eyes, have I wronged have I soiled their souls Death’s near me and he’s letting his fingertips rest on my naked back and I can smell the sweet decay of dead anatomies on him and Death answers in a low hum for they believe you’re a God and look what you have done, you have worshipped sins and murdered their peaceful souls, they want you to rest in your grave so they can rise again to bury you even deeper. I ask him ( sobs are wracking through my dry throat, my voice is high ) : “ WHY? WHY WOULD THEY WANT REVENGE AGAINST ME I NEVER BORROWED THEIR HEARTS OR SOULS SO WHY? ” Death smiles then, and I can see ghosts ( empty smiles, shapeless bodies ) behind my eyelids, his smile is filled with skeletons of dying humanity. “HAVEN’T YOU SINNED MY DEAR? ” He asks me instead, and I shiver, devil’s tears in my eyes remembering the times when I was young with a foolish heart playing it on hair-thin strings. I REMEMBER MY FIRST SIN I remember walking through narrow alleys with walls painted crimson ( or was it blood they were painted with I don’t remember ) heart drunken and my mind in a drowsy haze, I remember myself spitting on my lover’s golden skin and my fingers stained with blood as red as the pomegranate juice I had sipped, blood stained the edge of my knuckles, I remember acid fire dripping from my tongue onto my lover’s skin I remember the malicious smile on my face as I passed by the broken shards of mirror. were my lover’s hands bloody when I left I REMEMBER MY SECOND SIN I remember thieving, heavy silk drapes wrapped around my shoulders as I slipped into my bed, I remember crushing rubies and emeralds between my teeth diamonds burying themselves into my flesh, I remember knives in stomachs my hands wrapped around them shamelessly, I remember golden ( stolen ) crowns sitting on antique tables I remember sun burning through satin curtains and people tell me You’re too selfish for a god and I tell them gods have deserted them they sleep mercilessly under silver stones. were their houses falling down when I left I REMEMBER MY THIRD SIN I remember lazy hands on a human’s back, me whispering things into their ear in a slow drawl that made them shiver in fear, I remember hiding in my room for days not ready to face the wrath of the humans, I remember sleeping for days and days hands curled up in sheets immortals don’t sleep they say gods don’t break hearts on beds, humans make my muscles heave with drowsiness and sometimes I remember them saying that god is a child of inertia. were humans still mocking me when I left I REMEMBER MY FOURTH SIN I remember standing still on my feet as I chewed hearts and humans spit onto my faces for leaving them, I heard whispers of mortals worshiping my soul and begging me to cradle them in my arms, but I stand here in vain hands under my own skin telling them I won’t touch their filthy bodies, I stand with greatness running through my veins as I look at mortals ( they are nothing compared to me ), I shine like the sun I say no you don’t they say, words dripping with disgust. were they wishing for me to drown when I left I REMEMBER MY FIFTH SIN I remember hands on a mortal’s sweaty skin, clothes ripping apart from bodies, I remember my knuckles between their shoulder blades on a naked back, I remember kisses pressed on collarbones and bronze skin on pure white sheets, I remember my panting breaths onto bare chests I remember heavy breaths on my lips and bruises on the sides of my neck, I remember them telling me I love you between every beat of my heart, my lips seal themselves shut I won’t see them ever again I think, I remember the human beating their fists into my chest. were the mortal’s hands digging for more I REMEMBER MY SIXTH SIN I remember skin on teeth and food stuck in between my tongue and throat, I remember thirsting for more, more skewered meat in between my teeth more nectar filling my stomach, I remember mortals telling me hold your tongue and stop stealing suppers, I remember wanting more sugar layering my inner cheeks, I remember craving for blackberry juices to quench my thirst, I remember honeyed fruits on my lips and toasted breads on former empty plates. were humans holding their stomachs as I left I REMEMBER MY SEVENTH SIN I remember seeing flesh-filled smiles on human faces and I wanted to steal them, I wanted to bury mortals under the suns, they don’t know what it feels like to be immortal and to feel the sky dropping it’s weight on you, I want to steal their lives and exchange them with mine, they wouldn’t know how it feels like to have a place in your chest carved empty immortals don’t have hearts, I remember my lips pulled down, bitterness flowing in my bloodstream how I wish I could steal happiness from their gangly arms were they grinning at my spite when I left Death murmured as he plucked my soul from my body ( now you know gods have souls ) : “ They worshipped you, oh immortal , your name on their lips was holy but look at them, they’re suffering, towers of melancholy piling around them, your name is sin on mortal lips now. ” and mortals recite in harmony, like a prayer “ EVEN GODS SIN ”

[apathyisboring]

Her body shines under the sun Smooth endless ebony skin She’s a goddam delight Her tiny hands make me feel whole Like I can take over the world Her liquid brown eyes feel like They pierce my soul Her lips dry and chappy thanks to the harmattan weather Fill me with a longing I can’t describe It’s a burden loving your best friend It’s worse when daddy’s a pastor And mommy’s a deacon It’s ridiculous because you were formed Under the praises of God And born to the sounds of heavenly thanks Your name glorifies him Reminding people of his greatness You told mummy you didn’t like your name *Onyekachukwu* There is no man greater than God “It’s a lovely name, it reminds us of who he is” “But he hates me” “Honey don’t say that” “It’s true though, you taught me he hates same sex love, You thought me that he destroyed a whole city to show his Disgust and hatred” Mommy’s hands shook A daughter liking a girl like a son Mommy fasted and wept Daddy fasted and prayed in a language privy to angels They forgot emotions aren’t religious