#audrey tindall

[erakis-serra]

Evan Peters & Sarah Paulson (from AHS: Roanoke)

[imagines-ahs]

Chapter Fifty-Three: Clay.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes​ @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie​ (message me to be added if interested!)

A/N: This might not be the most eventful chapter, but it's one I'm proud of for it being, after nearly an year, the end of my hiatus. Thank you for everone who waited for me, I hope I have not disappointed and I can confidently say this time that more is coming very soon. Once again, thank you.

The words echoed inside Billie Dean’s heart, caressing and stabbing it at the same time. She pulled away just enough to stare at brown eyes, hands cupping Venable’s cheeks and caressing them with her thumbs, wiping the remaining of the tears away. Two arms wrapped around her own waist, pulling her closer. I love you. She couldn’t say that yet—so soon, so fast. So she leaned closer and kissed those wine lips in front of her, pouring the words on them, speaking through caresses. Wilhemina held her even tighter, lips moving slow, gentle… lips pouring I love you’s all over.

The rest of the lunch break went smoothly, and once people began to get back into the office, Venable was already kissing Billie Dean on the cheek and walking back to her table. A sigh of relief left her lips as she eyed Emma’s empty table. After getting settled, she turned the computer back on and took a deep breath, excel sheet already spread out on the screen. Not even five minutes into work, heels clacked loudly to her left, indicating Emma had come back to her table. Wilhemina nibbled on her inner cheek as she kept her eyes on the monitor, avoiding any eye contact possible.

In her office, Billie Dean smiled to herself as she did her best to focus on the e-mails in her MacBook. Her mind kept on slipping to Venable, to their kisses, to their conversation… to how much she inevitably came to love that woman. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. But Wilhemina had been a loner her whole life it seemed, and perhaps she needed some personal space. Or maybe she was a loner for a lack of choice. Billie had yet to find out. I could invite her for a glass of wine at least. Billie Dean blinked twice and tried focusing on the words in front of her yet again, corner of her lips tugging up nonstop. Once Jenny got back from lunch, they started working on what was left of the Christmas special.

Two hours of nonstop work later, Billie stretched her back and took her glasses off. She sighed as her spine popped, eyes closed. “Oof.”

“Right.” Jenny leaned back on the chair, stretching herself as well.

Blinking a few times to adjust her sight again, Billie Dean sat back straight. “I need a cigarette.”

“I need something sweet.”

“Good idea.” Billie got up, followed by Jenny right behind. They both walked to the kitchen, and she excused herself to the balcony, purse in hand. The first hit of nicotine instantly relaxed her body, leaving her leaning against the wall with eyes closed. She took another drag and then another one until the cigarette was gone, and then she got back to work alongside Jenny, whom ate a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels.

With eyes still on the monitor, Venable almost missed it when people began getting up to leave. She blinked twice and leaned back on the chair, saving the document she had been working on. Her mind instantly slipped to Billie Dean, and to their lunch and to their time at her place and to all the butterflies that were still present in her stomach. Would she come over tonight? Wilhemina figured sometimes Billie would need some alone time, but asking couldn’t hurt… right? I will be upset if she says no, though. Being upset was worth the shot. Once she collected all of her things, Venable leaned onto her cane and got up to put her coat on. Jenny walked by the office, smiling at them as she followed to the elevator. From the corner of her eye, Wilhemina watched her. Billie should be alone. Discreetly, she grabbed her purse and followed into the hallway all the way to Billie Dean’s office. The door was already open, so red waves peeked inside; there Billie was, quietly gathering her things. Venable watched her quietly, eyes bathing on the beauty of the unnoticed. She’s the most beautiful creature to ever grace this Earth. “Billie?” She called quietly, as to not scare her.

Honey eyes instantly lifted up from whatever document Billie Dean was gathering. She opened a smile, so bright and sincere Wilhemina had to grasp her cane a little harsher in order not to fall. “Hi, darling.” She set the paper aside and walked to Venable, purse on her shoulder. “Are you done?” She asked as she leaned to peck her lips.

Wilhemina nodded. This time, the tobacco was a little stronger on Billie’s kiss. “Yes. I was wondering—I was wondering if you’d like to come over, uh, tonight?”

Taken positively by surprise, Billie Dean nodded. She reached to caress Venable’s waist, resting her hand right where her skirt met her sweater. I know what’s underneath it. She gulped. “I would love to. I have this bottle of red wine in my place that I’ve been saving, I can bring it along if you’d like?”

“Sure.” Somewhat relieved with the answer, Wilhemina took a discrete deep breath. The fingers against her waist were a sweet reminder of earlier—as if she needed one. “Y-you can stay over, if you’d like…”

Oh. Biting her lower lip with an even bigger smile, Billie caressed the place her fingers rested. “Would you like me to? I don’t want to impose…”

“I would love you to.” Being honest and vulnerable was becoming easier for Venable to do so when around Billie Dean. She almost didn’t recognize herself sometimes. “But I understand if you need some alone time, too. I mean—I also don’t want to impose.”

With her eyes scrunching affectionately, Billie leaned to peck Wilhemina again; this time, Venable’s free hand reached up to cup her cheek and pull her into a full kiss. A sweet chuckle escaped Billie Dean’s lips. As they pulled away, Billie stared at brown eyes. “I’ll be there at seven.”

“Perfect,” Venable nearly whispered. She pecked Billie Dean again and pulled away to follow her way to the garage. With a smile, Billie watched her from behind.

The ride home was cheerful; Billie sang loudly to the songs that played on the radio, mind on Wilhemina. As she got home, Eleanor was already gone. With quick footsteps, she got upstairs and straight to the bathroom, ready to take a shower. It didn’t take long for her to step out, body wrapped in a towel and hair up in a bun. She walked to her closet and began to look through her underwear. What if something happens? It’s not that Billie Dean was waiting for it, but if something ended up happening, she at least wanted to look nice. Reaching for a set of blue lace panties and bra, Billie put them on and went to choose an outfit. Something simple… A dress and some boots, her nearly signature look at that point, as well as a coat and some tights. Once dressed, Billie Dean gathered her things to spend the night over and put on some basic makeup—mascara and lipstick, that was enough. And then she nearly showered herself again in Floratta Blue before going downstairs and to the garage, stopping only to grab the bottle of red wine she had promised Venable.

In her house, Wilhemina was already waiting for Billie Dean. She put some music on and sat down on the couch in comfortable sweater and trousers, skin covered by the delicious smell of lavender from her soap. Purpura purred as she lay down on Venable’s lap, eyes closed as she received caresses on top of her head. Venable had already started cooking some chicken, which was now in the oven, as well as some salad and rice—something simple, but nice. On the table in the middle of the couches she had poured them both an empty glass, ready for when Billie Dean arrived with the bottle of wine. In the air, music hummed lowly as Wilhemina had turned her record player on and meticulously selected Aretha Franklin as the soundtrack of the night. Even though there was no reason for it, Venable felt her chest nervously bubbling. It didn’t take much for the bell to ring, which caused Purpura to already jump off of Wilhemina’s lap and walk to the front door, meowing softly as Venable followed close behind. With quick fingertips, she opened the door. There Billie stood, with that beautiful dress and tights and looking as perfect as ever. “Hi,” she smiled.

“Hi, darling.” Billie Dean gripped her bag a little tighter. She did look amazing earlier in that skirt, but Jesus those trousers are perfect.

“Would you like to park in the garage? Since you’re spending the night, it could be safer.”

“Oh, thank you. But I ubered here, since we’re going to the same place tomorrow morning.”

Smart. Venable felt her cheeks warming up. She nodded and stepped aside for Billie to get in. As she did, Billie Dean leaned to peck her lips sweetly. Wilhemina smiled before closing the door behind them. Purpura meowed happily as she stared up at Billie. “Someone missed you,” she chuckled. Already walking to the couch so she could pet the cat, Billie Dean took a seat and set her bag and purse beside her on the floor. Instantly, Purpura jumped on her lap and purred loudly, head bumping on Billie’s chest as Billie Dean caressed her head lovingly, mumbling sweet compliments to the cat. Venable watched as she stood there close to the door still, hand on her cane and eyes glued to the absolutely angelic scene in front of her. She makes herself home so easily… Wilhemina could never feel so comfortable in a place that was not her own, could never just be one within and blend in so well, yet Billie Dean… Billie Dean had barely arrived and she already looked like she belonged to her place—to her life, to her ways, to her heart. Purpura bumped her head more and more against Billie’s chest, receiving pets and little kisses on the nose. What a lucky woman I am. “You’re so beautiful,” she said without really thinking, almost as if Billie Dean wouldn’t be able to hear her.

Honey eyes looked up at Venable, almond in shape from the smile she carried on her lips. “I was just thinking the same about you.” With her free hand, Billie pet the seat next to her on the couch. Promptly, Wilhemina walked there and sat down, cheeks crimson.

“I mean… not only on the outside.” Venable reached for Billie Dean’s knee, caressing it on top of the tights and on a place Purpura was not stepping at. With her own cheeks tinting, Billie reached to caress the hand on her leg. “You make yourself belong so easily…”

“I think that’s your eyes speaking, darling…”

“Either way, it’s beautiful.” Venable leaned to kiss Billie’s cheek. Purpura meowed softly as she stared at them. With a chuckle, Wilhemina used her free hand to pet the cat’s head. “I’ll share only with you,” she said softly.

With the hair on the back of her neck standing up, Billie Dean bit her lower lip. “Are you possessive?”

The question caught Venable off guard. She bit her inner cheek, searching for any signs of discontentment in Billie’s eyes; she found only curiosity and a hint of mischief there. Her cheeks tinted even redder. “No. Just extremely monogamous.”

With the corner of her lips tugging up, Billie Dean hummed. She squeezed the hand underneath her own. How was it possible that Wilhemina Venable simply never failed to be so damn enticing? So damn sensual? So damn classy? “What a coincidence, so am I.” Calm down. Her lower stomach trembled.

She’s teasing me. “So, you’re just mine?” It was safe to tease back, she assumed.

Oof. This time, Billie opened a shy smile as she bit her lower lip. “Yes. Only yours.”

Leaning closer, Venable brushed her lips against Billie Dean’s. She felt the way her breath quivered, and with a small smirk and ignoring all the burning of her cheeks, Wilhemina squeezed Billie’s leg again. “Did you bring the wine?” She whispered.

“Y-yes.” Billie Dean gulped. Even though they were inches apart, she refused to look away from brown eyes. What was this new side of Venable she was getting to experience and explore? I’ve never seen her so confident. The hand on Purpura didn’t move anymore, but only rested against the fuzzy purple sweater.

“Good.” Pulling away without a kiss, Wilhemina smiled to herself at the state she left Billie at; chest quivering, face crimson. A giggle left her lips as she reached for her cane and began to get up. “I’ll go check on the chicken. The glasses are on the center table,” she bobbed her head over to it.

Nodding the best she could, Billie Dean watched as Venable disappeared into the kitchen, with Purpura jumping from her lap and following right behind. Taking a deep breath, she let out a chuckle to herself. “Jesus,” she breathed out. Her palms had begun to sweat a little, and with somewhat wobbly legs Billie got up to open the bottle of wine she had brought. Only now, alone in the living room and with her senses very well aware, did she hear the faint buzzing of the record player. ’It’s a lovely day today,’ it hummed, ’so whatever you’ve got to do, you’ve got a lovely day to do it in, that’s true’. It was indeed a lovely day. Once she had managed to open the bottle, Billie Dean poured them both a glass of wine and sat back down on the couch.  Her heart was just now starting to lose the extra speed it had taken.

“I figured I’d get us some snacks, so we don’t drink on an empty stomach.” Walking back into the living room, Wilhemina held a tray with a few tiny bowls on it. “Peanuts, cashews, cheese, olives and ham. Is that alright?”

“It’s perfect, darling.” Billie reached to make room for the tray on the center table. Once Venable set it down, she sat back beside her on the couch. Billie Dean smiled at her. “I hope you like the wine.”

“I’m sure I will.” Wilhemina reached for a glass and closed her eyes as she leaned closer to smell the liquid. Absolutely rich. A hum escaped her lips. Billie watched her somewhat nervously. “Bordeaux…” Carefully, she took a sip. “Lafite Rothschild?”

With her eyes growing in size, Billie Dean nodded. “Yes, actually. How do you know that?”

Venable smiled as she set her glass back on the table, eyes back on Billie. “The tobacco… it’s kind of unique.”

Blinking twice, Billie Dean let out an amused chuckle. “That’s… really impressive.”

Chuckling back, Wilhemina smiled to herself. “Thank you.” She leaned back against the couch, relaxing as she stared at Billie. She watched as she reached for the glass and took a sip as well, lips tinting purple before she licked them clean. Instinctively, she bit her lower lip. I want to kiss her. Venable felt herself craving for those lips, because how long had it been since they had last kissed? A few hours, probably. It felt like days already.

Taking another sip, Billie set the glass down and popped a small cube of cheese into her mouth. She slowly began to chew on it, back resting on the couch once again. Her eyes met brown ones, and she found in them something awfully similar to love, and perhaps a hint of lust. Her lower stomach trembled. She took a deep breath, reaching for one of Wilhemina’s hands and tangling her fingers in hers. “Can I confess you something?” Venable nodded, eyes already scrunching up lovingly. Billie Dean chuckled to herself, cheeks starting to tint. “Your… you have the most beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh—“ Letting out a surprised laugh, Wilhemina covered her mouth with her free hand. That was definitely unexpected. She’s lying, her head screamed, shut up, Venable shouted back, and this time she managed to actually make it quiet down, for Billie meant safety. “Thank you?” Is that really true?

“You’re welcome,” Billie giggled. She bit her lower lip, fingers caressing Wilhemina’s. She watched how brown eyes seemed to struggle with the dimple of worry between them, that even though faint was still there. She’s doubting it. Once again, Billie Dean felt guilty for her past, even if it didn’t make sense. “I mean it,” she added, softly. “They’ve been on my mind all day.”

Holding back any embarrassed sounds this time, Venable only allowed a shy chuckle to come out. “Thank you,” she repeated. “I—I’ve been, uh, thinking about earlier. A lot.”

“Yeah?” Seeing Wilhemina with such red cheeks would never fail to make Billie melt. She kept on smiling to herself, finding a weird sense of delight in how brown eyes refused for stop on her honey ones.

“Yeah.” Venable nodded. She cleared her throat and reached for an olive, popping it into her mouth right before taking another sip of wine. Her nerves deliciously bubbled up as she could feel Billie Dean’s eyes on her. Leaning back against the couch, she licked her lips clean.

“I don’t think it’s fair you haven’t allowed me a kiss yet.”

Blinking twice, Wilhemina held back the urge to look away and decided she’d play the same game. A hum left her lips. “Have you tried kissing me yet, per chance?”

With the corners of her lips tugging up, Billie nodded slowly. “Touché.” She moved closer, watching how brown oceans focused on her lips. Cupping a cheek with her free hand, Billie Dean was about to collide their lips together when Venable pulled slightly away. She frowned.

Wilhemina bit her lower lip, eyes now on honey ones. “You’re cute when you´re flustered,” she nearly murmured. I barely recognize myself.

Already red cheeks grew even redder, and Billie bit her lip harshly to hold back a gasp. Remaining as collected as she possibly could right now, her fingers moved to caress the base of Venable’s skull, deliciously massaging her scalp there. “So are you,” she murmured back.

This time, it was Wilhemina’s turn to say nod. “Touché,” she whispered before finally meeting their lips together. The fingers tangled in Billie Dean’s slowly let go as she reached to caress Billie’s waist, pulling her closer. Their lips moved as if their kiss were an oasis and they had been lost in the desert for years.

“Mm,” the sound escaped Billie Dean’s throat before she could stop it. Her cheeks threatened to tint impossibly more but she simply did not care. With her now free arm, Billie caressed one of Venable’s legs, fighting the urge to just slip up a little. Not now. Too much, to fast. She squeezed the flesh there softly, tongue dancing alongside Wilhemina’s as her lower stomach twisted and turned even more. Flashes and more flashes of earlier invaded her mind, from the pretty lace Venable had on, to just how absolutely gorgeous her breasts looked covered by it, and to how utterly delicious they felt under her lips. I might go insane. Billie Dean was consciously aware of her touches by that point, careful not to be too rough.

The only thing Billie’s hum did for Wilhemina was to leave her ears tingling. Her hand squeezed the curve of Billie’s waist, and she couldn’t help but take a deep, shaky breath. I need to compose myself. Composing oneself was fucking hard when Billie Dean was there, kissing her lips and slowly going down her jawline. “Mgh,” Venable bent her head back, coral lips instantly peppering the skin of her neck with kisses. The position was weird now, but Wilhemina didn’t have the mind to adjust herself.

I need her. Billie’s mind screamed. I need her and I need her desperately. With her lips tingling, Billie Dean twisted her body the best she could to reach Venable’s neck. It was still uncomfortable. Without really thinking, she moved to straddle Wilhemina, each thigh on each side of her body. Hands instantly caressed her hips, pulling Billie closer and closer. Underneath her, Billie Dean watched as Venable threw her head back and closed her eyes, lips red and swallowed from their kiss. Slow. We’re going slow. The words were something Billie had to always remind herself, for resisting Wilhemina was a war right now. With her thumb carefully placed under Venable’s jaw, Billie Dean leaned closer and placed an open-mouthed kiss right on her pulse point, taking her time to savor each and every curve of her delicate skin. “You always smell so good,” she murmured, soon allowing the pad of tongue to sooth the place there.

With the delicious weight of Billie’s body on top of her, Wilhemina could only hum. Her hands slowly passed up and down Billie Dean’s tight covered thighs. I want to go under her dress. She squeezed Billie’s hips. “I…” Venable murmured as a sigh.

“Yes?” Murmuring against the skin, Billie Dean now kissed the other side of Wilhemina’s neck, free hand using the backrest as support. She’s quivering.

I don’t even know. Venable simply hummed again. Her hands went down and up again, but this time she allowed them to follow an inch up inside the dress. On the cusp of her ear, Billie whined lowly. The hair on Wilhemina’s neck stood up. She gulped. Gosh. “Can I?” She managed to whisper. Instantly, Billie Dean nodded. Venable bit her lower lip, hands nearly trembling as she began to move them up and under the dress, caressing the outer parts of Billie’s beautiful thighs, digits dangerously close to the curve of her ass.

“Mgh,” Billie Dean whimpered, back subconsciously arching as her lips moved up and to Wilhemina’s again. She kissed her with gusto, stopping to pull on her lower lip before kissing her again, tasting the Holy wine.

It was becoming too much for Venable to handle, and so she had no choice but to move her hands up and cup Billie’s butt gently, nearly asking permission to do so; when Billie Dean insisted against her palms, however, Wilhemina gave herself full permission to actually feel them. Her heart skipped a beat. She gulped. Jesus Christ. It felt just like she had imagined it would, and the memory of herself, weeks ago, touching her own body as she imagined the exact situation she was at right now was enough to engulf Venable’s body in lust and a tiny bit of shame—one that passed by unnoticed, for the other with no doubts won the battle. It was so fucking erotic. “Fuck,” she murmured against Billie’s lips. Billie Dean pulled back just slightly, smirking softly as she stared at her with those seductive honey eyes.

“You sound so good,” Billie murmured, leaning to peck Wilhemina slowly. With her cheeks red, Venable nibbled on Billie Dean’s lip before pulling slightly away. Her palms delicately massaged the fat against them, pulling Billie even closer. Billie Dean could feel her underwear already sticking to herself. Just a touch and I can barely handle myself. Never had that happened in her life, and even though absolutely torturous, Billie definitely enjoyed it. She bucked her hips, grinding on nothing at all, eyes still deeply staring at brown ones. It was Wilhemina’s turn to let out a small whimper, eyes looking away from Billie Dean’s for a second. Fuck me I want to hear more. Billie leaned closer and kissed those lips again, hips finding a slow, delicious rhythm that was soon picked up by Venable, whom now helped her move gently, hands helping on the movement.

Growing uncomfortably wet between her thighs, Wilhemina let out a sigh as she focused on just feeling all that was happening. Her heart had been pleasantly beating inside her head for a while now, and all her senses seemed to be turned off for any and every thing that was not Billie Dean. Floratta Blue lingered in the air, and with the reminder of it, Venable moved to kiss down to Billie’s neck, taking her time to move her lips against every single inch of skin she found there, tongue eventually making contact with it all. Wilhemina’s lower stomach took a turn, and she couldn’t help but to squeeze Billie’s butt a little harsher. On top of her, Billie Dean had already settled her arms to rest around her neck, never once allowing it to slip even an inch south and close to Wilhemina’s spine. I’m safe. Venable felt comfortable with what they were doing, just like she had felt this morning. Do not get into your head right now, she scolded herself before the chance of a bad though occurring. Kissing up to Billie’s right ear, Wilhemina felt herself growing brave, taking strength out of seemingly nowhere—an impulse, a gush of fresh air. “Sometimes,” she started, low and slow. “I can’t help but stare at you… at your legs… at your ass…” Her cheeks were burning, but Venable simply couldn’t manage to care. Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself. She ignored the voice.

With a low hum and a teasing smile, Billie Dean made sure to arch her back a tiny bit more. When had she ever heard Wilhemina talk like that? Feel safe enough to actually do so? Billie was not taking it for granted at all. The hair on her neck stood up. Her body filled with goosebumps. Go under the tights, she wanted to say, go under and touch it all… scratch me, bite me, spank me, do whatever you please. Instead, she took a deep breath, for Venable should be the one to decide when she felt ready and comfortable to explore more of Billie Dean’s body. Her insides, however, never stopped twisting and turning. “Do you like them?” She breathed out.

“Yes,” Wilhemina was quick to answer before placing a kiss right under Billie’s ear. “Yes, I do.” With a content hum, Billie Dean reached to cup Venable’s cheeks as gently as she could at the state she found herself at, pulling her up for another kiss. Wilhemina felt herself melting, tongue dancing around Billie’s, body tingling. This is enough. Stop it before you make a fool of yourself again. Except, Venable didn’t know if she actually could, for her body seemed to be on autopilot and commanded by something awfully similar to desire. She gulped. I want to have her. I need to have her. I love her. Was she even ready for it? Was she ready for Billie Dean to see the worst part of herself? To see her back, to see her spine and all the turns it took? Panic began to crawl inside her chest, clearly telling her no, demanding she stopped it, demanding she gave in once again. Wilhemina gulped yet again, struggling to keep her pace on their kiss. One of her hands softly moved up, resting on the small of Billie’s back, caressing it and trying to ground herself back to reality. I’m fully clothed, I’m safe. Her back rested against the couch a little firmer. Her heart kept on beating fast, but it no longer felt good. No, no no no, not now. Not again. Venable squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the growing feeling inside her chest.

Billie Dean was no fool; she had felt the way Wilhemina had gotten stiff out of nowhere. Her hips stopped in place, and as she was about to pull away, the oven in the kitchen began to beep continuously, letting them know that whatever was cooking was ready and nearly burning. They pulled away. Venable took a deep breath. Billie offered her a soft smile. Even though Wilhemina smiled back, she knew it was, without a doubt, time to stop. “That damn oven,” she played, for perhaps it was best to act as if she didn’t know the turmoil that was passing inside Venable’s beautiful head.

Thank God. Chuckling, Wilhemina nodded. Both of her hands now caressed Billie Dean’s back. Brown eyes stared at the woman on top of her, with lips red, breath labored, pupils dilated… angel. Venable desperately wished she could just go and be a normal person, a normal adult in love with another. I have never been normal. She blinked. “Let me go get it.” Wilhemina lovingly pecked Billie one more time before she began to get up, lip caught between her teeth, face scrunching up with tears out of nowhere. Quickly, she walked to the kitchen.

[alainapaloosa2]

All the Sarah Paulson AHS characters as ponies because I’m losing my mind on TikTok

From left to right; Billie Dean Howard, Lana Winters, Cordelia Goode (pre supremacy), Bette and Dot Tattler, Sally McKenna, Audrey Tindall, Ally Mayfair, Wilhemina Venable (pre apocalypse),Tuberculosis Karen

I also have a Supreme Cordelia, Pre Apocalypse Wilhemina and Audrey-Shelby… help

[yourmomssidepiece]

You’re Safe Now- Sarah Paulson x Fem Reader

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Summary- Sarah has been working a lot more recently, which means she hasn’t realised just how bad your mental health has gotten, but what she witnesses one particular evening is nothing she could have prepared herself for.

Warnings- a lot of detailed talk about self harm, mentions of depression, just a lot of deep stuff

Word Count- 2k

A/n- well hello, i never thought i would be writing fanfic but here we are, i’m mainly doing this as a way of coping but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless🩷

reposting is fine but please do not steal my work :)

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“You said you would be home 20 minutes ago and it’s now almost 10!” You raise your voice into your phone as you try to dry your hair after taking a shower. This is the third time Sarah had been late home from work this week even after saying time after time that it would never happen again.

“I’m sorry baby, time just got away from me” She replies after a brief moment of silence. Her voice is calm, which is a big contrast to yours, she knew that there was no use in trying to explain herself over the phone as it would only turn into a argument, but then she remembered that lately everything seemed to be an argument with you.

Sarah wasn’t stupid, she may not have been around a lot this particular week but she could always spot the signs that your mental health was starting to overpower you, which is exactly why she is trying to rush home to you as quickly as possible. She just wants to be there for you, to try and make everything better.

You hang up the phone, which only intensifies Sarah’s worry about you, now she is even more desperate than before to get home to you. You walk back to the bathroom, your eyes scanning the room until they land on the pack of blades Sarah recently bought for her razor. Your trembling hand reaches out and picks one up and once you have it in your grasp you sink to the floor, feeling the cold tiles underneath your bare thighs.

Your fingers drag the blade across your wrist, watching as the crimson liquid drips down your arm, some of it even going onto the floor. You do it a few more times, even more blood than before trickling onto the tiles beneath you. You can’t feel the coolness of the tiles on your thighs anymore because all you can focus on is the heat coming from the blood on your skin.

So lost in your own pain, you don’t hear the soft knocks on the bathroom door, it’s only when they become louder, more desperate that you finally start realising what is going on. “Sweetheart? Are you in here?” Sarah asks gently, deciding not to knock again as she hears movement on the other side of the door. She takes that to mean that you are okay, so she reaches out and opens the door, but never in a million years could she have been prepared for the sight she is greeted with.

“Oh my- Oh baby” She says as she moves towards you, her voice laced with a slight panic, a panic that she might not be able to help you, to make it better. “No- no Sarah you weren’t supposed to come in!” You snap, trying to wrap a towel around your wrist as if trying to pretend that she never saw anything. “What have you done, hm?” She whispers, but not in a harsh way, more in a way that she is trying to make sense of what’s just happened.

You feel your knees buckling under you, making your body fall back onto the tiled floor, but this time Sarah is beside you, so it’s not as cold as before. “Give me your arm sweetheart” She says, her voice almost a whisper as she gently takes a hold of your arm, wrapping the towel around it tighter to stop the bleeding. Your desperate attempt at holding back your tears is starting to fail as a few roll down your cheeks. Sarah notices straight away, reaching out her free hand to wipe them away with her thumb. “Shh it’s okay” She soothes, “It’s all going to be okay” She adds, saying it more firmly than before, as if trying to reassure herself too.

“Come on, let’s get off this uncomfortable floor” Sarah says, gently guiding you up. Once you’re on your feet you feel a wave of dizziness wash over you, the sight of the blood drops on the floor and the dried blood on the towel is becoming overwhelming. “Hey hey, easy now” She croons, letting you lean your weight on her as she walks the two of you out the bathroom and back down the hall to the comfort of your shared bedroom.

You slump your body onto the bed, your legs feeling like they could easily give out any minute and your heartbeat thumping in your ears like a drum, getting louder and louder with each passing second. Sarah can sense the panic rising in you, what you had done to yourself just staring to catch up now. “Hey, can you look at me sweetheart?” She says as she kneels down in front of you, placing her soft hands on your knees to try and keep you grounded. You tilt your head downward to meet her deep brown eyes, the eyes that never fail to make you feel safe.

“I just want you to listen to me, okay. Do you think you can do that?” Sarah whispers and you nod. “I want you to tell me what made you do this? I need to understand so I can help you baby, I just want to make you feel better” You feel yourself tearing up again at her words, a lump of guilt building in your chest, the guilt of not telling her how bad you have gotten or the guilt of her having to find you like that. You take a deep, shaky breath before answering her. “Everything has been so overwhelming lately, It just started out as the normal bout of anxiety or feeling down sometimes but this is different, it’s so much worse Sarah, I feel like the walls are closing in on me and soon I won’t be able to breathe” You say, your voice threatening to break any minute, tears already making their way down your face.

“This” You say, gesturing to the blood stained towel that’s covering your right wrist. “This felt like the only way that I would be able to breathe again, the only thing I could think of to make myself feel anything but sadness and anger” You finish talking, taking another deep breath to try and steady yourself. Sarah’s eyes soften more if that’s even possible as she places her hands on your cheeks, rubbing them with her thumbs before she speaks again. “Thank you for telling me sweetheart, that was very brave” She places a kiss to your forehead before continuing “You may not realise it but I understand a lot more than you think, I can see the change in you, how you’re becoming more withdrawn and angry, but I promise you I am going to try everything to make sure that those walls don’t suffocate you, okay? We will break them down together, me and you.” Her voice gets quieter as she finishes her sentence, kissing your forehead a second time as a way of letting you know she’s going to stick to that promise.

You go to speak up, to say something else but instead of words coming out you are wracked by a flood of tears streaming down your face, dripping off your chin and then onto your lap, where Sarah’s hands are still resting. “Oh my baby” She coos, shifting to sit beside you on the bed. You feel her arms wrap around your shoulders to pull you into her body, guiding your head onto her chest. Sarah’s hand rubs up and down your back, trying to soothe the sobs that are shaking your small frame. “Shhh, I’ve got you, I’m right here” She whispers, repeating that same thing every few minutes just to make sure you hear her, she wants you to know how serious she is.

Sarah’s hand moves from your back to your head, combing her fingers through your hair. The motion is soothing, releasing the tension in your muscles and slowly bringing your headspace out of the darkness for a few minutes. For the first time in weeks you feel like you can breathe properly, you no longer feel the pressure from the walls that have been pushing you down, holding you down.

“There you go, I can feel you relaxing more now” Sarah’s voice fills your ears as well as the quietness of the bedroom, reminding you that she is right there, and she is not going anywhere, not until you are strong enough to face the world again. “I’m right here honey, always” Sarah mutters, almost like she can hear your racing thoughts, the thoughts about her leaving you with all the pain and sadness, but every time you hear her voice and feel her touch, you know that she would never let that happen.

A couple minutes go by and Sarah pulls back, just enough so she can cup your face with her hands, she does it ever so gently like you’re a fragile doll, she doesn’t want to break you. “I’m going to bandage up your wrist now, alright?” She says, scanning your face for a second, just to see if you’re okay with that. A final stray tear rolls from the corner of your eye as you just nod, knowing it needs to be done. “Okay” You say weakly, adjusting your position so that you’re sitting upright again. Sarah leaves the bedroom for a couple seconds, not even long enough to realise that she’s gone before she returns with an arm full of supplies to clean you up.

“Okay sweetheart, let’s get this done” She says, keeping her voice as calm as possible for your sake, even though inside she can feel her heart rate pick up, a slight lump forming in the back of her throat as she knows what she’s about to witness again. You wince through gritted teeth as she peels the towel from your wrist, feeling like they are being cut into all over again, even though she’s being as soft as she can. “I’m sorry, I’ll try and be quick but I need to make sure I clean them throughly” Sarah says, her voice slightly firmer than usual, but she doesn’t mean it in a bad way, she just wants to make sure she’s doing the best she can for you. “I understand” You reply, wincing once more as you feel her rub your wounds with a sterile wipe.

Sarah finishes by bandaging up your wrist with a thick bandage, making sure it’s not too tight but tight enough so that there’s no chance of anything getting into them to infect them. “Thank you” You speak up, your voice louder than before so she hears how grateful you are. Sarah smiles, looking up at you, “You don’t have to thank me sweetheart, I want to take care of you” She replies, planting a soft kiss on your lips, which you happily return.

The night goes on and into the early hours of the morning when you finally get yourself wrapped up in bed, Sarah’s arms enclosed around you protectively as if to shield you from the pain that is whirling around inside your head, because she knows how loud it can get, this evening proving just that. “Close your eyes now sweetheart, I’ll be right here, watching over you” Sarah whispers in your ear and you comply, closing your heavy eyes.

With your eyes closed, a feeling of dread washes over you even in your subconscious as you find yourself back in the bathroom, the feeling of the cold tiles beneath your thighs, the noise of your blood dripping from your arms onto the floor beside you. This scene plays over and over until it finally makes you open your eyes again, a frightened whimper escaping your throat.

It doesn’t take long to come back to reality, back to the warmth of your lovers arms, when you hear Sarah’s familiar, comforting voice whisper in your ear once again. “Shh, it’s okay” Her arms tighten around you to bring an even bigger feeling of security, along with three simple words that in any ordinary moment they wouldn’t mean much, but right now, they mean everything.

“You’re safe now, sweetheart.”

[misshaudrey]

This is the view I have every night. @shelbyytindall <3

[stayevildarling]

American Horror Story Masterlist:

One shots:

Cordelia Goode:

Soulmate

Hidden Desires ✾

Fix you ✩

Take my hand, Take my whole life too

On different ways ❆

In the silence

Diary

Traitor - Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7, Pt 8

Mildred Ratched:

First sight

Sick

Audrey Tindall

Chasing you

Wilhemina Venable

When the time is right - Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3

Sick

Who knew?

Holding on for dear life

Fade into you

Safe and Sound

Million Reasons

All I want for Christmas is you 🎄

Too messy ✾

Billie Dean Howard

What you call love

Lunch ✾

The haunting of your medium

I wanna be yours ✾

Until I found you

It's you

Craving ✾

You can‘t escape my affection ✾

Like I can

Slow dancing in a burning room

Ally Mayfair Richards

Heart like mine

✩ = mental health, ✾ = smut, ❆ = no happy ending

[cigarettessmokeandberries]

[Works List]

Miranda Hilmarson

**Rainy mornings and kisses**

— Uh, oh! The window is open and rain is trickling in! Miranda is sound asleep and the sound jolts you awake. Morning fluff ensues. —

**I want a home with you**

— You don’t believe in romance movies, so how come it felt like one with Miranda? —

Audrey Tindall

**Has to be enough**

— It had been nasty. Audrey came back from Roanoke different, and you couldn’t understand why. Until you saw the news. Audrey’s suffering had now been broadcasted across the country, and even some places outside of it, and the nightmare she lived through etched deeper into her. —

**i love you, im sorry*

— Audrey was meant to be a star but what does that mean for you?

**Soft**

-- Audrey danced around the living room to the beat of whatever song was playing on the Bluetooth, you had long stopped listening to watch the sway of her hips as she smiled at you. --

Cordelia Goode

**Chrysanthemums**

--Cordelia Goode was a force of nature. She was green all year round and her words were bulbs from the most beautiful flower. She walked like she knew where to be and she spoke like she knew everyone was listening. Her hair was golden in the sunlight and her eyes were milky coffee in the moonlight. She wore her beauty as if it didn’t impact you everyday. And you were already mourning her as she sat right next to you. --

Melissa Schemmenti

**Fixer upper** Part Two ** Part Three**

— Great, the coffee machine broke. It's burned Melissa's hand and ruined the day for most teachers- wait, it burned Melissa's hand. Y/n won't let that pass. —

Hetty Woodstone

**Blue Skies and Orange suns**

— Never apart, Y/n and Hetty spend their days together. —

Sevika

**Softened**

— She nearly always came to you after beaten up, but you didn't want it any other way. A short comfort fic for Sevika. —

**Lovesick idiot**

— The smoke tickled the back of your throat, one breath in and one long sigh out. The day wore on your back, the couch a nice relief against the soreness. Sevika chuckled beside you, a grin plastered on her face as she took another drag of her cigar. —

**Silver Springs**

—The air outside The Last Drop was stale against your nostrils, it came in cold and left with a stain against the inside of your nose- the musk in the air still not something that you got used to. The glow of the undercity shined against you as you wiped another tear from your eye, red and irritated. This wasn’t the first time you’d disappeared out back to cry. Especially about Sevika. —

*Requests are open

[thedarklinkfell]

Favourite Sarah Paulson character in American Horror Story?

Billie Dean Howard

Lana Winters

Cordelia Foxx

Bette and Dot Tattler

Sally McKenna

Audrey Tindall

Ally Mayfair-Richards

Wilhemina Venable

TB Karen

Voting ended onMar 23, 2024

Hadn't seen one of these before so here we go! No middle of the road choices, just one vote for your fave. Evan poll [HERE]