#aunt debbie

[socialbutterfly19]

6 years ago I did this 5K in honor of my aunt. Miss her dearly

[lovelydistinguishedsuit]

Joan Cusack as Debbie Jellinsky in Addams Family Values, 1993

[bitchth1ng]

for weeks my family has been doing a group chat where you’re supposed to post one happy memory a day. I haven’t been participating for many reasons. for one, I deleted most of my old photos. but I’m also scared to post the ones that I do have because my mom isn't in any of them, and I know how violently jealous she is. I’ve seen how awfully she talks about my grandparents when she feels like I love them more than her. and today we’re supposed to post a pic with our mother, so fuck that. the only genuine and pure good memory I have of her is when she would come lie in my bed when we were living in Dallas and sing songs with me until I got tired. everything else is avoidance and strife.

[jeuneoiseau]

Songstress.

You’re home. Where you always wanted to be.

You would have loved my project. You were a wolf woman before me- a free spirit guided by a deep knowing, a good witch with intuition. I just wish your pain was seen, that it didn’t grow so deep before anyone could notice. I wish I could have helped, been your friend, listened.

I wear your clothes in honor of who you were/are. I’m sorry you did not get what you needed when you needed it. I hope you felt our love despite all of your pain. Your heart is in my heart.

Thank you for your songs. You teach me. I love you.

“I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,

To be calm when you've found something going on

But take your time, think a lot,

Why, think of everything you've got

For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not

All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,

It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it

If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them they know not me

Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away

I know I have to go”

[ginniewheezie]

My aunt would've turned 62 today. I've been preparing myself for this all week but I still can't wrap my head around it. No matter how hard I try, I just can't imagine her being 60. Maybe it's because she never made it past 47, but I like to think its because she was always amazingly young at heart and such a beautiful soul that time really couldn't touch her. Even if it wanted to. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her as a hummingbird twitters overhead, or miss her laugh when I think of something stupid. My voicemail these days are no longer full of happy birthday messages on xmas and random off key songs and commercial jingles for no reason. Life is just a little grayer without Aunt Debbie. I know she touched many lives besides mine. As she said, Love, Always. And she did.

[normajeanwalton]

Day Four of Summer:  Time to sell stuff.

Six weeks before Aunt Susie gave the kids $24 in loonies. Three weeks before we set the date aside. Two days before I advertised on Kijiji and Craigslist. The morning before my eldest checked the weather to ensure it looked clear. The afternoon before I retrieved change. The night before all five of us created and installed signage; organized and divided up the change into pouches; and hauled up a bunch of stuff right in front of the door to take out in the morning. 5:45 am Saturday morning everyone was up raring to go.  Tables were set up. Early birds started arriving at 7:30 am. We officially opened at 9 am.  Breakfast was eaten while the kids sold.  I just kept hauling more and more buckets of stuff up from the basement.  By 1 pm we closed up shop. As my Aunt Debbie said "anything that goes outside is not coming back in." Against that back drop, Nana and Papa made the mistake of coming to check on the sale around noon.  They finally escaped sometime after 4 pm, having been roped into helping clean the now clear basement, helping clean the now clear garage, and helping bundle the stuff that was ready to be taken to Value Village and the dump. I fell into bed exhausted but completely happy with the results.  The little one earned $20 for her efforts and the others each pocketed $78.20.  Our basement is clean and looking fabulous. Our garage is clean and looking fabulous.  I am smiling.