#aurambles

[starstruck-chaotic]

I have a lot of story ideas. A lot of them go nowhere, but as I have fewer fandom ideas, and more ideas for things of my own it's interesting.

I think I've got a pretty good idea of how to tell what media format would work best for an idea, one works best and lives in my brain as an animation. One works only in written format, and to try to visualize it would ruin the purpose of the story. Another might work best in a wordless comic of a sorts. Some things would not work half as well as a podcast or as a video, or as a comic, because sometimes half the story is in the way you tell it.

Now some of this may be because I'm a shitter who likes the uncertainty and forshadowing in a story that despite having the pieces you never know what the puzzle looks like until somebody slaps you in the face with the box.

I like mystery, I like bittersweet endings, I like never knowing exactly how it ends, but you get the feeling it was haunting anyways. Some stories you need the ending, because there's no way for it to end without definition.

But sometimes, the end of a story is a ghost on the page, a memory on the screen, or nothing but a final whisper into your ears.

And I think that's wonderful.

[starstruck-chaotic]

I'm kinda hyped for the fnaf movie

I'm working on a homebrew fnaf themed dnd oneshot for the homies and while I've never done this before and therefore should not be speedrunning this, the power of Hyperfixation does things to me so. I'm making this security breach era so thats fun. They're going to hear so much daycare theme.

Btw if anybody has any tips for how to dm or ideas for things to throw at these fuckers send me an ask, I'll answer it after we run the oneshot

[starstruck-chaotic]

I've realized that my adhd is probably the reason why my brain is so loud. Actually I've just realized tonight that it is loud period. I didn't realize that trying to think or focus sounds like a cacophony of voices clattering against each other in a mall so crowded you can't hear your companion speak to you. I didn't realize that the people I thought were battering against the window were already in the room.

I was at a team member event tonight, and there was karaoke set up. By the end, there were extra lights on, the moon was out, and there was a crowd of no less than thirty people there all just. Standing on benches, running up to the mic, all just singing and dancing and having a great time. The volume was loud enough that everything in my brain was drowned out and I could just think and breathe and feel alive enough again.

It felt as though the universe pulled out my soul and begged it to rest, as it gently cupped it in its hands before returning it to the six year old girl who was so full of hope. And the girl turned to the one she grew into and reached out her hand and asked if I wanted to go play on the playground with her.

My legal name will never be the one I will wear like a badge of honour again, but I can help the little girl who held it so proudly learn that she doesn't have to be what everybody else has told her she must.

[starstruck-chaotic]

Been listening to copious amounts of fnaf music lately and ngl the ending of Labyrinth (CG5) should not slap as much as it does.

Idk something about the unapologetic way "I'm sorry, you've been misinformed this is just a neverending labyrinth and nothing more" feels to me. It feels almost like a vindictive glee as the restaurant burns down. Like the peace of knowing that this is the end of everything, there is no way out.

Also this should probably get its own post but do you ever think about everything else in the fnaf universe? This is one restaurant franchise there would be so many memes about how they keep getting burned down. People in other countries looking at this haunted franchise that just??? Doesnt fucking quit??????? Ever????? Like you'd think that they would eventually give up after some fucking kid burns down their mall like. They just Keep Doing That, huh. And it would have to still be like! Family owned to an extent, because who the fuck would want shares in the company that pretty much regularly either burns down or is involved in the disappearance of children? Or people peeling their faces off or whatever. Like. The restaurants in the first two probably got shut down for one reason or another, fredbears family diner would be LONG gone in some form, three burned, four was some kids brain damage hallucinations, five, there are just. No more robots, not to mention the murder mechanisms, six ALSO burned, UCN was some dudes literal hell, fnaf world gets pretty much ignored as some kind of fever dream probably, help wanted was an in-canon game that was probably hypnotizing people in some form to murder children (or. Peel their faces, I suppose) security breach, either was involved in several missing childrens incidents again, burned down, or the robots were so trashes by some fucking kid that they were probably unusable, at some point you just gotta cut your losses and quit, yeah? Like??? What the fuck! Who is running this company. WHY are they running this company. Because theres no way the murder rabbit is managing company affairs from the hell basement under roxy raceway. Mike is dead, and burned, and also he was a literal zombie pretty much nobody is touching that with a ten foot pole, the afton kids are all dead, we have no fucking clue if their mom was ever in the picture, williams already been discounted, who the hell know what henry was up to, or if he was even alive still given that the whole purpose of the restaurant in six??? Was to put an end to this bullshit???? Who is running this fucking place. Who is LETTING them run this place because lemme tell you OSHA has NO hand in this. OSHA would fine them into oblivion. What is HAPPENING over there dude.

[starstruck-chaotic]

My dad is one of the strangest fucking guys ever I think sometimes. He taught himself to ride a bike before he was 5. He had a skidoo. His dad refused to teach him anything ever and yet he STILL knows A Lot of shit. He starts physics discussions at the dinner table. He coped with adhd by hyperfixating on learning everything about the universe growing up and he's STILL like that. When we're playing a game with 104 cards numbered 1-104 and he knows whats on 14 of them he will look you in the eye, tell you what card you're going to play, and about a solid 30-40% of the time he's right. He's a jerk. He's unnecessarily harsh. He makes weird voices and faces at small children to make them laugh. He bonds with his kids by dragging them into increasingly complicated board games and kicking their asses half the time. He is 100% certain that anybody can think the way he does if they just consciously made the choice to until they didn't have to. He's so fucking strange and for a good chunk of time I kinda hated him because I thought he was unnecessarily harsh and then I asked why he was Like That, went a little too far into gender politics for my liking (he seems supportive in the strangest way available) and went "yeah okay maybe its not worth being mad about anymore" and now he's just the weirdest guy ever. I kinda want to see what would happen if I got him on tumblr for a little while, but knowing him he would also very quickly get into a debate with somebody over something. Probably over the existence of labels, knowing him. Doesn't stop me from being curious.

[starstruck-chaotic]

Hey does anybody have any ideas what mods they're using to add blocks and block variation and how to make create not break I've been watching Fwhip build his weird little factory town and I want his blocks. Lemme build like that. What mods are allowing smajor to have his weird little mushroom house.

[starstruck-chaotic]

Did. Would it have mattered if we gave GL!Ranboo the right code? If Hetch was in the system, and had control over it clearly because he could turn off security to let Ranboo get that far, if they were in control would it have ever mattered? If Ranboo put in the right code, if they listened to Chat and we were correct, if they were right if we were right if anybody was right and the right code was put in, could Hetch have just. Hit override and set everything off anyways? Could we have done anything, could Ranboo have done anything, could anything have been done to save them in the end? We know because Ranboo has told us that there was no good ending, but would Ranboo have ever been given the chance to escape?

I don't think so. How could he have ever gotten out when the mask was a flip of a switch, pulling them back under, how could they have ever gotten out when his help was the one pulling the strings?

[starstruck-chaotic]

One thing I like about working on The Animation Project, is that I'm doing all those small silly little things I love doing in art that I just. Never have the energy to.

Also the fact that I accidentally gave a character a jesus arc, but I'm having too much fun with character design too.

I'm enjoying adding depth and motivations and subtle flaws and notes in their personality, and later, their body language. I'm having fun making characters have their flaws, and then when they realize them taking a hard swerve too far the other direction, until they learn to heal and coming to a more centered spot.

I've been hit with art block for a while and this is the one thing I've kind of reliably been able to work on and enjoy? Which is fucking sick btw

School might suck ass but hey! I'm making progress on the thing that's been lurking in my brain for a While

I'm also going to start posting about it a little more because I want to and I'm pretty sure most of my followers are bots anyways (really gotta clear those guys out...)

... well. The bots and my mom, i guess