O Captain! My Captain! || Drabble
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills, For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding
- O Captain! My Captain! by Walt Whitman
It had been eight am when Bai came back to the eighth year dorm, her body sweating from the massive training she did, her arms tired from push ups, and her legs tired from running. She could barely walk, with her legs shuddering after every step, trying hard not to collapse as her weight shifted from one after the other. The brunette was happy though, she had finally finished her 3rd spell with her sword and was almost done engraving runes and talismans at the side of her weapon. Taking a deep breathe, she focused on stopping her shaking arm and pushed the portrait open, slightly wincing as it banged throughout the common room. Bai had a slight proud grin on her lips as she walked inside, ready to tell Auri about her success. “Hey!” she shouted as she looked away from the door, brown eyes widening in surprise as she noticed the 8 years around a notice board, looking shocked and something else she couldn’t figure out.
Due to her height and the fact that she was far away, she couldn’t see over their shoulders, she decided to just ask, wanting to know what exaggerated problem they have now. What else could be worse than the Quarantine? Was the curfew moved to 10pm? Did R&R post something again? “Why are you all staring at that?” she had asked cheerfully, her right hand closing the portrait as she moved in further to the common room, “did someone die or something?” It had happened to fast for her to fully comprehend, at one moment she was watching them look at her horrified, slightly confused as to why they were looking at her like that. The next she saw Auri’s brown eyes glaring coldly at her and her tone harsh as she cursed and ordered her to read. Before she could reply or look hurt at the insults hurled at her, she was pushed by cold hands against the door frame, her back hitting it hard, her head slamming against the wooden object. What did she do this time? When she noticed that Auri was running away, her brown eyes staring at the departing girl’s figure as she ran up the stairs, she closed her eyes in frustration. She couldn’t understand what she did this time, and they really should have a talk about physically abusing her. Sure, Bai didn’t react much to pain but using her vampire strength was a bit too much. Her body was already stiff and broken from training and this was slowly adding up to her permanently aching body.
“The fuck, Fonte..” she groaned, slowly standing up and wincing at her aching back. At least she didn’t dislocate her shoulder again, nor did she injure her spine.. well she just assumed that. Contemplating on seducing some stranger to massage her back, she followed her girlfriend’s instructions and walked to the paper they were looking at, tearing it from the notice board to fully check on it. Eyes narrowed as she read the letter and a null expression formed on her face, before her hand crumpled it and threw it away. Her fucking captain was gone. The only person she didn’t feel like murdering whenever she played a game. Yet another person gone in her life permanently. As soon as those words echoed throughout her mind, she looked at the open door where her gal left. The small joke she made had been said at the wrong time and Auri was running away from her, probably mad. When the thought crossed her mind, Bai began to ran, her body still aching from the pain the doorframe gave her, and the ache she got from training her body to its limits. Her legs felt like they were burning as she ran out of the dorm and to the stairs she saw Auri run to. She didn’t need this in her life right now. Bai wanted to mourn for her captain, her overly-protective mother hen, the guy who knew how to calm her down whenever she was pissed without resorting to candy, the guy who would punish her by making her play chaser in practice games whenever she pissed him off. She couldn’t mourn for that guy though. Not yet. Not when someone else seemed to be leaving her life yet again due to what she accidentally slipped out.
Bai knew the most about Auri’s ticks, that whenever her eyes narrowed a certain way it meant that she had to duck soon, that a small twitch on her left lip meant that she was amused or fond, that whenever she looked to the left meant that she was restraining to roll her eyes. With all that being said, and the fact that she knew where Auri was most of the time, she should have been able to find her, hit her a few times, and then leave to mourn for her captain. It didn’t happen though.
She had searched every single one of Auri’s favourite places by the first hour, she had searched Auri’s favorite hallways to go through by the second, she searched everywhere other place she knew around Hogwarts by the third hour, even outside. By the fourth hour, she was getting more desperate, by asking other people where she might be and grabbing their collars when they hesitated to reply. Her body ached all the way, and there were times she would fall down and collapse around a hallway, too tired to stand up. She would force her body to stand up though, desperate to finish finding her gal.
By fifth, she was slamming them against the walls whenever they didn’t reply fast enough, and she was already shouting at the top of her lungs as she walked around the whole school for the second time. When the sixth hour came, Bai was already leaning against the walls, slowly making her way on her third round, her whole body burning from exhaustion, her throat aching from shouting, and her stomach protesting in hunger. She didn’t take a break though, she continued walking around even as she kept collapsing, her eyes slowly forming tears. During those six hours of being alone, she thought of her Captain, and how the last time they talked was fighting over her injuries, about her protesting that he was being too overly caring. She wanted him right now, to see her walking around and call her out on it. To take care of her and say that she had to rest. She wanted to complain once again about him acting like a mother hen.
The seventh hour had been her silently crying as she walked through empty hallways, people knowing better than to be near her by now, and her body worsening every minute. She was hungry, she was thirsty, she was tired, her back ached and her head throbbed every minute from its harsh beating against the wall. Bai wasn’t known for giving up though, so she continued, slowly making her way through finishing her third round. Her eyes slowly starting to blur as it dried up from too much crying. At the eight hour, her body had fully collapsed, unable to stand up anymore. She had to find Auri though. To know that only one person was leaving her, to know that she still had someone else in her life even when her constant died. “Auri..” she would occasionally try to shout, but with her throat aching and dry, and her body dehydrated, it came out as a whisper. Her mind was making images of the people that left her, her sisters, her step-brothers, her nephews, Charlie and Auri. It kept her going. She ended up slowly crawling through the hallways, her hands aching as she pressed them against the dirtied floor and forced herself to push herself further.
By the time the eight hour happened, the Grey Lady had seen her collapsed, hungry, thirsty, tired, and using all her focus to keep herself awake, mumbles of Auri’s name leaving her dry lips. She was still moving though, getting an inch further every few minutes. The Grey Lady had gotten a few house elves and transported her to the eight year dorm, food and water in the desk as they placed her in the couch. After an hour of resting, she didn’t bother to eat or drink, using the slightly regained energy she had to turn the couches and see if Auri was hiding there. Every hour, she was getting desperate, and right now, she was on the verge of just hugging herself and crying her heart out.
The ninth to thirteenth hour passed with her trying to get out of the eight year dorm but the few house elves she knew by name stopping her from leaving. Sadly for her right now, she had befriended more of the rebellious house elves who were willing to transport her to the hospital wing and into the care of the medic witches. So Bai stayed there, her thighs against her chest and her arms circling around her leg as she sobbed against her thighs, finally mourning Charlie and crying out for Auri who in her mind left her due to her fuck up.
As the thirteenth hour almost finished, the door to the eighth year dorm opened up and Bai peeked up, she had gotten her hopes up way too many times when the others came back the dorm. When she saw Auri though, the energy she regained from staying in the dorm was fully put to use as she threw the nearest pillow beside her, accurately hitting Auri’s face. “HEY!” she shouted, her throat slightly aching still from what happened a few hours earlier. Bai grabbed another pillow and threw it, growling as the vampire dared to catch her accurate throws. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?!” she asked before running towards the older brunette. She cocked her fist and almost punched her in the nose, only stopping an inch away and hugging the woman tight, her face pressed against her shoulder as she restrained herself from crying. “Thirteen. Hours. Thirteen hours, Auri!” Her hands clawed its way against Auri’s shirt as she fought hard to keep the tears in her eyes from spilling.
“Oh. Is that how long I was gone?”
Bai resisted in punching the woman or slapping her against the cheek as she said that, only shouting her name in anger and slight hysteria before pulling her closer. She had been so worried, too fearful that another person was leaving her. She had done her crying for Charlie while she was collapsed and inside the eighth year dorm, Bai didn’t regret fighting Charlie since that’s the usual thing they would have done, but she did wish that she had gotten him that Quidditch and House Cup. Plans of stealing it and placing Charlie’s name crossed her mind and she knew that that would be enough for her to be at peace. He died due to being sick, she didn’t need to plan yet another revenge. Bai also knew that he would have asked her to take care of his team, not to miss him much, and to take care of Auri and Peter. Something she would do either way. So now, she focused on the present, which was Auri, who had ran away due to her stupid words, who she had thought did something dangerous since her first crush died.
When she felt a short yet sweet kiss on her cheek, she looked up to see Auri asking about the couches. She quickly nodded and replied in both frustration and relief, “Yes! I did! Five hours ago!” It was funny now that she thought about it, thinking that Auri was hiding under the couch, when they weren’t playing hide and seek, but she had been so desperate, so worried. It would have killed her not to look, not to hope that Auri was just joking around and waiting for her underneath. The moment she asked about how she could make up for what she did, Bai didn’t even bother with her usual thoughts of sex or making out. In fact they didn’t cross her mind at all. She had dragged Auri to her room, forced her to sit in her bed, wrapped her arms around Auri’s waist and leaned her head against the cold shoulder. Bai didn’t bother to talk, only closing her eyes and hugging her tighter as she started reading, too traumatised that if she opened her mouth yet again, she would be left.
When Auri had fallen asleep with a smile in her face, right before midnight, it was then that Bai realised something. She couldn’t sleep. Not today. Not tomorrow. and maybe not even a week from now. She didn’t want to close her eyes and wake up with another person leaving her, she didn’t want to open her mouth and piss someone off enough to run away. It was then that she hugged herself yet again and stayed silent throughout the whole night, occasionally staring to the side to assure herself that Auri was still there. When the clock had struck midnight, it signalled Bai’s week of silence and insomnia, it signalled her barely talking to others, barely shutting her eyes even to blink, and barely leaving Auri’s side. It was during midnight that she realised that people could leave her without dying, and she had to stay awake and silent to stop that from happening.