A drabble in which Todd Brotzman realizes he’s really gay for Dirk Gently. He knows he’s not straight, but never in the context of Dirk.
Todd Brotzman had shared rooms with plenty of people in the past, but none of those experiences could be compared to living with Dirk Gently. Dirk was… loud. Dirk was messy. Dirk was somehow awake at the least convenient hours of the day. Dirk was always begging for attention. Dirk was a picky eater. Dirk was clumsy. Dirk was… his best friend. Todd was never annoyed by Dirk’s presence - just always, ever so slightly confused.
When Todd had suggested Dirk living with him, Dirk was snuggled in Todd’s bed, shaking. After a string of nightmares, Dirk had let himself into Todd’s apartment and slipped into the bed. Todd held Dirk just as Dirk would hold him in the midst of a pararibulitis attack, whispering comforts and reaffirmations into his ear. Dirk never said a word, drifting to sleep once again before he could find his voice. Todd figured then that Dirk hadn’t heard his offer, or was too overwhelmed to process it, which was probably better anyways. Not that he didn’t want Dirk living with him, but the idea of sharing space with someone else so intimately once more – he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.
Of course, upon waking the next morning, Todd found himself being bossed around by an over-enthusiastic Dirk. He’d brought all of his things from the apartment upstairs, asking Todd about rules and arrangements and living situations that Todd hadn’t even considered before. For a moment, he cursed his past self for putting his current self in this position, but it would be a lie if he were to say he wasn’t happy.
Learning to live with someone new was hard, he realized one day while sitting at the kitchen counter. Adjusting to their quirks and schedules, compromising your space, learning how to respect their boundaries. For Todd, adjusting to Dirk Gently was a process, made up mostly of taking everything in stride and not raising his voice. He wasn’t going to yell at Dirk, threaten to leave him again – something he found himself feeling guilty for, even months after the Patrick Spring event. No matter how frustrated Todd got, he tried not to take it out on Dirk, even if he had broken three plates or flooded the bathtub.
Regardless, observing the small details of Dirk more than made up for any shortcomings in their roommate dynamic (if you could call it that). The way Dirk’s eyelashes brushed his cheeks as his eyes fluttered open in the mornings; the way he ran a hand through his hair when puzzled; the light in his eyes when you asked him a question about previous cases; the humming that came from the bathroom in the mornings as he shaved. It was… nice. There was nothing, though, that could’ve prepared Todd for Dirk’s awful taste in music. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but Todd had never exactly had a casual interest in music. Dirk almost exclusively listened to pop music. His favorite playlist featured pop hits from the ‘60s until now – almost five hours of it.
So there Todd was, sitting by the counter, watching Dirk make questionable looking sandwiches for the both of them, babbling along about “Todd what do you mean Nutella and marshmallow can’t go on a sandwich?! Those are the most fundamental ingredients of a peanut butter sandwich! Besides the peanut butter, of course…” Todd was barely listening though, taking in all of Dirk. The way the afternoon sun was hitting his face, making it glow slightly and the overly cheerful pop tunes playing in the background warmed Todd to the core, and he found himself smiling – a more sincere smile that he could remember having for years. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, couldn’t really place a finger on it. It wasn’t love, he thought, but something closer to that than anything he’d felt before. His heart swelled.
If that wasn’t enough to leave Todd a melty mess of emotions softer than he thought he was capable of, the sound Dirk made as one of his favorite songs definitely put him there. Dirk had made a sound somewhere between a gasp and squeal, hands flapping excitedly, carefully though not to get marshmallow all over the kitchen. And then, came the singing.
Todd never thought of “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” as anything more than another one of those cheesy pop songs – especially being from the ‘80s. But the way Dirk sang it into the butter knife, so cheerful and snapping to the beat; it made him weak. Todd found himself unable to look away, despite his face probably turning five different shades of red. It was… beautiful. Dirk Gently, in his kitchen, making him lunch, hips swaying, drowned in a light that made him look all too ethereal – even if silly, yet unabashedly flirtatious looks covered his face. Todd wondered if in the future, he would find himself dancing to the horrible music himself, with Dirk, sharing looks only they might understand. Holy shit, I’m so gay. Not that this was the first time he’d thought that, at all- but the first time in was thought in the context of Dirk.
The four minutes of the song passed all too fast and Dirk had settled back into a less bouncy state, finishing the sandwiches. As Dirk handed him the sandwich, Todd was still a bit dazed, love-struck, and not thinking clearly at all – a perfect recipe of which resulted in a rushed kiss to Dirk’s forehead, pink blush on his cheeks, and a small smile, uncertain but thoroughly pleased.
Todd could get used to this falling-in-love-with-Dirk-Gently thing.
Specific mostly to Dirk himself because I Love That Man.
(a small nsfw part)
-Dirk loves pop music. Doesn’t really matter what time period. All pop is good. Nice and upbeat. Makes him a blast to do karaoke with.
-Speaking of karaoke, he absolutely loves singing. All the time. Doesn’t have a bad voice at all, but pretty average. Farah gave him headphones because sometimes it is hard to work with him blasting music, but that doesn’t seem to change much. He still dances and sings along, even in public. The funniest is when he raps because he is far too white and British for that. It cracks everyone up, especially Amanda. He can’t figure out why it’s that funny though.
-Dirk likes sex. Fun (even if he’s totally not good at it all). But also, something he could totally live without and be perfectly fine. He’s definitely more into love making, soft, gentle, passionate sex. But also has a lot of trust issues. Todd takes like 1,000,000 precautions to make sure Dirk is always okay. Dirk appreciates it, but Todd always worries he’ll fuck something up.
-His collections of jackets that are mostly the same but different colors comes from sensory and comfort. They are the Best Jackets and make him feel safe. He isn’t sure what he would do without them. He is convinced part of his identity is connected to the jackets and who would Dirk Gently be without them?
-Dirk is actually the stimmiest ever. All the time. A lot of that was probably repressed because of Blackwing, but now its actually constant. Todd thinks its the cutest thing when he stims during or after a kiss. Amanda buys him a collection of stim toys for his birthday and he stuffs his jacket pockets with them for every situation
-Boy does that man have a sweet tooth. You can’t let him go shopping for groceries alone - Todd learned the hard way. Dirk came back with 3 boxes of Fruit Loops, 2 packs of double stuffed Oreos, 5 quarts of assorted ice cream flavors, and a bag of assorted mini candy bars. How did he survive on his own?
