love from afar (pt.1) — daniela avanzini
summary: daniela is one of the most popular girls at school, and you’ve been painfully in love with her from a distance since the start. when you get paired together in a class project, things changes.
warnings: angst (with eventual fluff), slowburn, yearning, popular! dani x loser!femreader trope.
a/n: does anyone want the next part? 😛
i mostly wrote this for an anon (thank you for the request i hope you like it!! i’m sorry it took me this long to finish) and @luluvrs <33
you fall in love with daniela on a casual weekday.
it’s not dramatic. it’s not sudden. it builds up quietly, achingly.
it starts in the first week of university. you notice her in your psychology class laughing with her friends, hazel eyes lighting up with happiness and thick curls falling over her shoulders.
you told yourself it was just a small crush. that it would go away in a few days or weeks.
unfortunately ever since you’ve only fell deeper, sitting three rows behind her in class and having to watch her from afar.
even if you’ve never actually talked with her, you still felt like you already knew her.
from the start you’ve felt her presence draw you in, and you’ve noticed everything. how she makes everyone smile and feel included. how she speaks to others like she genuinely cares. how she holds the door open for everyone.
daniela knew everyone, and got invited everywhere. she was popular, but not in that mean way people can expect. she’s kind and sweet in a way that makes your chest feel too full.
you were the complete oposite: mostly focused on school, pretty awkward and shy in social situations, and you didn’t have too many friends.
to you it wasn’t a big deal. you liked the quiet life you had built.
until it came to daniela. she was the exception.
for once in your life it wasn’t enough to love someone like this. you wanted daniela to notice you.
—
your professor announces the project at the best possible time. only three weeks into the semester.
“in the next classes you’ll work on a project that’s gonna be presented by the end of next month. it’s a good opportunity to show competence and get to know each other better. you’ll work in pairs, i’ll choose them.” he informs casually.
your heart starts beating faster at that. you’ve never really liked group projects, mostly having to do all the work every time.
“y/n… and daniela.”
it feels like everything stops. your eyes widen, suddenly awfully aware of what this could mean.
daniela turns in her seat, scanning the room. her hazel eyes land on you.
to your surprise, she smiles. it’s small. polite. curious. it feels like being struck by lightning.
the first time you actually speak to her, is only a few days later. your voice trembles.
“hi.” you barely manage.
“hi.” she says back, softer than you expected. up close, she smells like something clean and warm. like laundry and vanilla.
“uhm… i guess we’re partners.” you mumble a bit awkwardly.
“i guess we are.” she smiles again, and it’s not the distant smile she gives acquaintances. it’s focused. it’s for you.
your chest aches. don’t read into it. don’t make this into something it’s not.
still, the feeling only grows stronger when you start studying together every day.
library afternoons. coffee runs. shared google docs. she starts saving you a seat in class. you start texting about the project, and then about other things.
she asks you questions about the project, about your major, about where you’re from. and she listens. really listens. nodding. maintaining eye contact like what you’re saying matters.
you’re not used to that. you’re used to fading into the background. being the quiet one. the sweet one. the easy one. but daniela treats your words like they’re something to hold.
—
the worst is when you start noticing more the way other people look at her.
the way a girl from her friend group loops an arm through hers. the way a guy in class leans a little too close when he talks to her. the way she smiles at them: warm, easy, effortless.
the same way she smiles at you. that’s the worst part, because she’s kind to everyone. you’re not special.
you try to remind yourself of that when she texts you at midnight and asks if you’re awake.
when you’re on call, and she whispers sleepily “i don’t know what i’d do without you”.
it never works. because how are you supposed to react, when what you feel is anything but casual?
—
it’s worse when the project presentation creeps closer, because this has an expiration date. you both know it.
once the class ends, what reason will she have to keep choosing you? she has friends. options. a life that doesn’t revolve around library tables and shared deadlines.
you have her. you hate how unbalanced and unfair that feels, even though you shouldn’t expect anything.
the night before you present, you’re both still in the library. it’s nearly empty.
she looks tired. her hair is messy. she’s wearing one of those oversized sweaters again, sleeves covering half her hands.
“can i be honest?” she asks suddenly.
your heart stutters. “yeah.” you nod.
“i was kind of nervous when i saw we were paired up.” she admits.
“oh.” you swallow.
“not in a bad way.” she rushes. “i just… i didn’t know you. and you’re quiet. i thought maybe you didn’t like me.”
“what?” you blink.
“you never talked to me. i figured i was just… not your type of person.” she shrugs, looking almost shy.
the irony is cruel. you’ve loved her in silence for weeks and she thought you disliked her.
“i didn’t talk to you because i was nervous.” you admit softly.
“nervous? why?” she asks, confused.
because you’re everything. because you’re bright and kind and i don’t know how to stand next to you without feeling small. you want to say it all, but it sounds stupid. too vulnerable admitting to someone you barely know.
“i’m just bad at starting conversations.” you say instead. it isn’t a lie, just not the whole truth either.
she studies you for a long moment. really studies you, like she’s doubting if you’re telling the truth.
“i’m glad we got paired up.” she says finally.
“me too.” you smile, even though it hurts.
—
presentation day comes and goes in a blur. the both of you wait outside the lecture room, your hands shaking slightly. you hope daniela doesn’t notice.
you both do well. the professor praises your analysis. she squeezes your arm when you sit down.
“we killed that.” she whispers, grinning. you pretend your chest doesn’t tighten at that.
after class, people crowd around her. congratulating. laughing. pulling her into their circle again.
you stand there awkwardly for a second too long before slipping out quietly. you don’t expect her to notice.
“hey!” you hear behind you. she’s jogging to catch up, bag bouncing against her hip.
“you were just going to leave?” she asks, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.
“i figured you were busy.” you shrug lightly.
“i’m not too busy for you.” she frowns. it’s such a simple sentence, but it undoes you.
you look at her. for a terrifying second, you consider telling her everything. how you’ve been in love with her since the second week of class. how every smile feels like falling in love with her all over again. how you don’t know how to go back to being strangers. but the fear is louder than longing.
“so…” she says, a little softer now. “just because the project’s done doesn’t mean we stop talking. right?”
your heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of your chest. she’s giving you an opening to talk more and become a part of her life, instead of feeling invisible all the time.
“yeah… right.” you say with a short nod.
and this time, when she smiles, it feels different. not distant, not polite, but almost hopeful.
