Avengers' trauma
1: Steve Rogers
From what I've seen here on Tumblr, people often focus so much on Bucky or Tony and their trauma, but very little on Steve and his trauma.
I'm not trying to downgrade Tony or Bucky, because they've been through some awful stuff, but this post is gonna focus on Steve.
I'll probably do other posts focusing on the other Avengers.
Steve was a tiny kid from Brooklyn. He got into a lot of fights because of his protective nature. He always lost, unless Bucky happened to be around to shoo the other person away. In other words, he got beat up a lot as a kid.
Fast forward to the war. His best friend goes missing. He gets the super soldier serum, which must've been painful. He rescues Bucky, only to lose him again. Bucky is thought to be dead. He crashes a ship into the ice, fully expecting to die.
Fast forward to Avengers 1. Steve is pulled out of the ice. He wakes up and finds out he has missed 70 years. That'll give anyone a panic attack, but somehow Steve is able to hold it in. Then an alien shows up and starts wrecking everything (Steve's pov) and he's called on to save the world...again. He does so, along with a bunch of other people, one of whom is his former friend's son, who is older than him (side note: Steve didn't know that Howard was a terrible father). He's a devout Christian but suddenly he's confronted by Norse gods. He watches as Tony makes a sacrifice similar to the one he made 70 years previous and is most likely thinking "oh no"
Fast forward to Winter Soldier. Nick Fury dies (but not really). He finds out his best friend is actually alive, but has been brainwashed by HYDRA, the very thing he had been trying to take down in the 40s. Bucky has been murdering people for 70 years. That's gotta break a man's heart. Then he fights Bucky, and finds he can't do it, so he's fully prepared to once again die, this time by the hands of his best friend. Bucky ends up not doing it and disappears, but Steve is probably still reeling
Fast forward to Avengers 2. He slightly moves Mjolnir (worthy dudes, worthy). He's shown that awful vision. He fights a bunch of robots (pretty sure that kind of thing didn't happen in the 40s). Also that whole battle at Sokovia, where a bunch of innocents die.
Fast forward to Civil War, or in other words, "the movie that made everything go to hell." Governments are trying to restrict/control the Avengers. Steve doesn't like being controlled. He and his friend Tony have a fight. Bucky is back and everyone thinks he bombed the Sokovia accords meeting that killed T'challa's father. Steve is trying to help Bucky, so he and everyone with him goes on the run. T'challa is trying to kill Bucky. Then Tony watches the clip of his parents being murdered and that Bucky did it and that Steve had been hiding it. Tony (rightfully so) gets mad. Steve is torn. He is fighting his friend. But he knows he must protect Bucky. So he attacks. What I think happens here is that he goes into autopilot and almost kills Tony. He stops. He's horrified by what he's doing. He leaves Tony, and drops the shield, because he knows Tony is right. He's not worthy to hold it. He's not worthy to be Captain America.
Fast forward to Avengers infinity war.
Steve has been on the run for a long time now. He has given up Captain America. He's grown a beard. Basically, he's gone emo.
He's depressed.
And now the world is ending. So he fights. Not as captain America. Not even as Steve Rogers. He fights as a man who's lost everything.
But he hasn't. Not yet.
The Snap.
Bucky disintegrates before his very eyes. Others of his friends do as well.
He truly has lost everything.
Fast forward to endgame. He's crying. He's close to losing all hope.
He has held his emotions in for so long.
He can't hold it in anymore.