there's something about your writing that makes me want to print and stick it on my forehead with gorilla glue also could I request a tonowari smut? that big man has me frothing at the mouth
- an: omg that made me giggle out loud, i appreciate that so so much. i wasn’t planning on writing this tonight but i just couldn’t help myself, i hope you like what i’ve wrote!!
that big beefy man is so fine, ugh i get you completely
⤷ tonowari x fem!tsahìk!metkayina!reader
- cw: lower caps intended, just pure filth, newly established relationship, smut, p in v, heat cycle, rough sex, creampie(s), borderline cumflation, reader’s first encounter with someone in heat, reader is a bit oblivious on the topic of heat, knock on effect onto reader from said heat, breeding, knotting, belly bulging, dirty talk, size kink, multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, tonowari acts like an animal, let me know if i’ve missed anything!!
- wc: 5.3k, ish
- summary: you, a newly bonded tsahìk, return from your daily duties to find your mate, tonowari, experiencing his first heat cycle.
༻༺
you left before dawn.
the marui was still dark, the steady rhythm of tonowari’s breathing deep and even beside you. you moved quietly, careful not to wake him as you unpeeled his much larger arm off your waist and slid out of bed, gathering your things with the practiced silence of someone who had risen early her entire life. as tsahìk, the day would be long, you already knew it. rituals, healings, disputes to mediate and you did not allow yourself to linger.
he did not stir, just continued softly snoring away as you slipped out your shared hut.
by midday, you realised something was wrong.
tonowari had not appeared at the gathering platforms. no patrols had been called, no councils convened, no decisions passed through the familiar channels of authority that always bore his voice. an olo’eyktan did not vanish, not without reason.
you asked carefully. received only shrugs. uneasy glances.
by the time the sun dipped low, painting the reef in amber and rose, the feeling had settled deep in your bones.
when you finally returned, exhaustion heavy in your limbs, the marui greeted you with silence.
not the comfortable quiet of rest.
“tonowari?” you called softly.
no answer.
you followed the feeling rather than sound, your steps slowing as you reached the sleeping alcove. the woven divider was half drawn, as if abandoned in haste. beyond it, the space was dim, lit only by the faint glow of bioluminescent threads woven into the walls.
and there, partially hidden in shadow, he sat.
the air in the marui was thick, almost suffocating. you stood frozen in the entrance, your basket of medicinal herbs forgotten at your feet as you took in the sight before you.
tonowari knelt in the center of your shared space, his massive frame trembling with barely contained tension. his skin glistened with a sheen of sweat despite the ocean breeze that usually kept the marui cool. his chest heaved with labored breaths, muscles flexing and releasing in rhythmic waves as though his body was fighting against itself.
"tonowari?" you repeated, your voice came out smaller than intended.
his head snapped toward you, and you gasped. his eyes, those warm, steady eyes that had always looked at you with such tenderness, were different. the pupils were blown wide, nearly consuming the turquoise of his irises. there was something wild there, something barely leashed.
"you should not-" his voice was rough, scraped raw. he swallowed hard, the column of his throat working. "you should not be here right now, yawne."
but you stepped further inside anyway, letting the woven entrance fall closed behind you. "you are unwell. i am tsahìk. let me help you."
a sound rumbled from deep in his chest, not quite a growl, but close. the primal nature of it sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. "this is not.. this is not something you can simply heal with your herbs."
you moved closer, your training overriding your uncertainty. as tsahìk, you had tended to many ailments, witnessed the na’vi body in countless states. but this... you had never seen this.
"then tell me what it is," you said softly, kneeling a few feet away from him. "help me understand."
tonowari's hands were clenched into fists against his thighs, knuckles pale with the force of his grip. "the heat," he managed, each word seeming to cost him. "it comes.. sometimes. for our kind. i thought i had more time before-" he cut himself off with a sharp inhale as his body shuddered.
heat.
you had heard whispers of it, vague mentions from the elders, but never the details. it had always been spoken of in hushed tones, something private, something sacred and raw.
"how long does it last?" you asked, your healer's mind trying to categorise, to understand.
"days." the word came out almost as a groan. "sometimes longer. i need-" he stopped himself, jaw clenching so hard you could see the muscle jump. "you need to leave. now. before i-"
"before you what?"
his eyes locked onto yours, and the intensity there stole your breath. "before i lose control."
you should have been frightened. perhaps you would have been, if not for the way his entire body was angled away from you, every muscle straining with the effort of maintaining distance. despite the wildness in his eyes, despite the trembling in his massive frame, he was still trying to protect you. even now.
"i am your mate," you said quietly. "i will not leave you to suffer alone."
"you do not understand what you are offering." his voice dropped to something almost guttural. "the heat.. it is not gentle. it is not.. controlled. i would not be myself. i would-" he squeezed his eyes shut, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. "i would breed you. claim you. i would not be able to stop until-"
the words sent a jolt through your body, something hot and liquid pooling low in your belly. you had mated with tonowari before, had joined with him in the way of the na’vi, but there had always been such tenderness, such care. this.. this was something else entirely.
"show me," you whispered.
his eyes flew open in a panicked state, "no."
"i want to understand. show me what the heat does to you."
for a long moment, he simply stared at you, his chest heaving. then, slowly, he shifted. the movement was careful, deliberate, as though he was fighting his body's every instinct.
he turned slightly, and you saw it, the evidence of his arousal, impossible to hide. his loincloth was tented obscenely, and even through the fabric you could see the way his cock strained, could see it twitch and pulse with his heartbeat. but there was something else, something that made your breath catch.
at the base, barely visible, was a swelling. even now, even without stimulation, his body was preparing for something.
"the knot," he gritted out, following your gaze. "it will.. when i am inside, it will swell. lock us together. keep my seed deep until-" he shuddered violently, cutting himself off.
your thighs pressed together involuntarily. the clinical part of your mind was fascinated, cataloging this new information. but the rest of you.. the rest of you was responding to something far more primal.
the scent in the marui had grown stronger. you had noticed it when you first entered, but now it was almost overwhelming, salt and musk and something uniquely tonowari, but amplified, concentrated. it made your head swim, made your skin feel too tight.
"your scent," you murmured, almost to yourself.
he made a pained sound. "it calls to potential mates. tells them i am.. ready. fertile." the last word came out as almost a snarl. "you should not be breathing it in. it will affect you, make you.."
but you were already affected. you could feel it, the way your body was responding without your permission. your nipples had tightened beneath your woven top, your skin felt flushed and sensitive. and between your legs, you were growing wet.
"tonowari," you breathed.
"no." he shook his head violently, hair whipping. "no, you do not want this. not truly. it is the scent, the pheromones. i will not take advantage-"
"i am your mate," you repeated, firmer this time. you moved closer, close enough now that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. it was like sitting near a fire. "before eywa, we are bonded. if this is part of you, then i want to know it. all of it."
his control was cracking. you could see it in the way his pupils dilated further, in the way his nostrils flared as he scented you in return. his hands unclenched only to clench again, and you realised he was stopping himself from reaching for you.
"please," he whispered, and you had never heard him sound so desperate. "please, yawne. i am trying. i am trying so hard to-" his words dissolved into a groan as another shudder wracked his frame.
you made your decision.
slowly, deliberately, you reached up and untied your woven top, letting it fall away. your breasts were bare before him, nipples peaked and aching.
the sound that tore from tonowari's throat was nothing short of animalistic.
"what are you doing?" the words were barely intelligible, his accent thickening with his loss of control.
"i am your mate," you said for the third time. "and i am choosing this. i am choosing you. all of you."
you reached for the ties of your loincloth.
"stop." the command was sharp, but his eyes were glued to your movements, tracking every shift of your fingers. "if you do this.. if you bare yourself to me now.. I will not be able to-"
"i know."
the loincloth fell away.
for one heartbeat, two, tonowari remained frozen. his entire body was rigid, every muscle locked and trembling. you could see the war raging behind his eyes, the last threads of his control being tested to their absolute limit.
then you shifted, and your scent, your arousal, reached him fully.
those final threads snapped.
the change was instantaneous. his pupils blew so wide his eyes looked black. his lips pulled back from his teeth in something between a snarl and a grimace. and his body moved before his mind could stop it.
he was on you in a heartbeat.
his massive hands gripped your waist, lifting you as though you weighed nothing. your back hit the woven mat, his body covering yours, and the heat of him was scorching. he was everywhere at once, his scent surrounding you, his weight pressing you down, his breath hot against your neck.
"mine," he growled against your skin, the word vibrating through your bones. "mine. my mate. mine to breed. mine to fill. mine."
his hips were already moving, grinding against you with desperate, uncoordinated need. you could feel his cock, impossibly hard, sliding against your slick folds. the knot at the base was more swollen now, you could feel it catching against your entrance with each thrust.
"tonowari," you gasped, your hands finding his shoulders, his back, anywhere you could touch.
he was mouthing at your neck, your jaw, his teeth scraping over your pulse point. not biting, not yet, but the threat was there. the promise.
"going to fill you," he panted, his voice wrecked. "going to pump you so full. going to knot you, breed you, make sure it takes. need to-need to-"
his hand slid between your bodies, and you felt his fingers at your entrance, testing, preparing. even lost to the heat, some part of him was still trying to care for you, still trying to make sure you could take him.
you were soaked, your body responding to his with an eagerness that might have embarrassed you if you could think clearly. but rational thought was becoming impossible. there was only sensation, his fingers stretching you, his scent in your lungs, his weight anchoring you to the earth.
"please," you heard yourself whimper. "please, i need-"
"i know what you need." his voice was pure gravel, pure sin. "i can smell it. smell how wet you are for me. how ready. your body knows. knows what it needs. knows what i am going to do to it."
he withdrew his fingers, and you felt the blunt head of his cock press against your entrance. he was huge, bigger than you remembered, or perhaps the heat had made him swell even more. for a moment, you wondered if you could take him, if your body could accommodate-
then he began to push inside, and all thoughts scattered.
the stretch was intense, overwhelming. your body yielded to him slowly, accepting him inch by inch. tonowari’s arms were shaking where they bracketed your head, his teeth clenched as he fought to maintain some semblance of control even now.
"so tight," he gritted out. "so perfect. made for me. made to take me. made to-" his hips jerked forward involuntarily, seating himself deeper, and you both cried out.
he was only halfway inside, and already you felt impossibly full. your walls fluttered around him, trying to adjust, and each small movement made him groan.
"more," you gasped, your legs wrapping around his waist, trying to pull him deeper. "tonowari, please, more-"
his control shattered completely.
with a roar that almost shook the marui, he slammed forward, burying himself to the hilt in one brutal thrust. the growing knot pressed against your entrance, not quite inside yet but promising, threatening. your back arched off the mat, a scream tearing from your throat, pleasure and pain and overwhelming fullness all at once.
and then he began to move.
there was nothing gentle about it. nothing careful. the heat had him completely now, instinct overriding everything else, and he fucked into you with a desperation that bordered on violence. each thrust was deep, punishing, driving the air from your lungs. the wet sounds of your bodies joining filled the marui, obscene and primal.
"look at you," he growled, his voice barely recognisable. "look how you take me. so small beneath me, and yet.." he punctuated the words with a particularly brutal thrust that made you sob. "yet you take every inch. every fucking inch of me."
you could barely breathe, barely think. he was so deep, reaching places inside you that you hadn't known existed. the stretch was almost too much, your body struggling to accommodate his size, but the pleasure was devastating. each drag of his cock against your walls sent sparks of sensation through your entire body.
"tonowari," you gasped, your nails raking down his back. "i can't.. it’s too much-"
"you can," he snarled, one massive hand gripping your hip hard enough to bruise, holding you in place as he drove into you again and again. "you will. you were made for this. made to be bred by me."
the word sent a shock of heat through you. bred. your body clenched around him involuntarily, and he groaned, his pace somehow becoming even more frantic.
"yes," he hissed. "you like that. like knowing i am going to fill you. going to breed you until you are round with my child. going to pump you so full.."
his other hand pressed down on your lower stomach, and you both felt it, the bulge of his cock moving inside you, visible beneath your skin. the size difference had never been more apparent. he was so large, and you were so much smaller, and yet your body was taking him, stretching around him, accommodating every thick inch.
"eywa," tonowari breathed, his eyes fixed on where his hand pressed, watching the bulge appear and disappear with each thrust. "look at you. look at what i do to you. i can see myself inside you, yawne. see how deep i reach."
you looked down, and the sight made you clench around him again. your stomach distended slightly with each thrust, the outline of him visible, proof of how thoroughly he was claiming you. it should have been frightening. instead, it made something hot and primal coil tighter in your core.
"harder," you heard yourself beg, your voice wrecked. "please tonowari."
he obliged, his hips snapping forward with bruising force. the angle shifted, and suddenly he was hitting something inside you that made sparks burst behind your eyes. you screamed, your body convulsing, and your first orgasm tore through you with devastating intensity.
but tonowari did not stop. did not even slow. he fucked you through it, prolonging it, his own breathing ragged and desperate.
"that is it," he growled. "come on my cock. squeeze me. show me how much you need this. need me."
you were sobbing now, overwhelmed by sensation, by the relentless pace, by the feeling of being so completely filled. your body was his, pinned beneath his much larger frame, helpless to do anything but take what he gave you.
"going to knot you," he panted, his thrusts becoming shorter, more focused. "going to lock myself inside this cunt and fill it until it takes. until everyone knows you are mine. carrying my child."
you felt it then, the knot at the base of his cock beginning to swell. it caught on your entrance with each thrust, not quite pushing inside yet but getting larger, harder. the stretch was already almost unbearable, and the knot was only going to make it worse.
"i do not know if i can-" you gasped, but your body was already responding, already trying to accept it.
"you can," tonowari said, his voice rough with certainty. "you will. your body knows what it needs. knows it needs to be bred properly. knotted and filled and claimed."
his hand slid between your bodies, finding the sensitive bundle of nerves above where you were joined, and he pressed down hard. the combination of sensations, his cock driving deep, the knot catching and stretching, his fingers on your clit, sent you over the edge again.
this orgasm was even more intense than the first, your entire body seizing, walls clamping down on him like a vice. and in that moment of heightened sensitivity, when your body was most pliant, most open, tonowari thrusted forward hard and the knot pushed inside.
the stretch was impossible. overwhelming. you screamed, back arching, as your body struggled to accommodate the thick swell now locked inside you. it was too much, far too much, and yet your body accepted it, stretched around it, held it.
"yes," tonowari roared, his hips grinding against yours, the knot preventing him from pulling out now. "yes, take it. take all of me. perfect. so fucking perfect."
he was locked inside you completely now, the knot ensuring that nothing would escape, that every drop of his release would stay deep inside where it belonged. the pressure was intense, the fullness beyond anything you had imagined. you could feel him throbbing inside you, could feel the knot pulsing.
and then he began to cum.
the first pulse of his release, there was so much of it. he groaned, his entire body shuddering, and you felt it flooding you, filling you, with nowhere to go because of the knot sealing you together. your stomach began to distend further, the bulge becoming more pronounced as he emptied himself inside you.
"look," he commanded, his hand pressing on your stomach again. "look at how i fill you. how much i give you."
you looked down and saw your belly swelling slightly, rounded with the sheer volume of his seed. it should have been impossible, but the knot kept everything locked inside, and he was still coming, still filling you. the sight was obscene and primal and deeply, fundamentally right.
"tonowari," you whimpered, your hands clutching at his shoulders. the pressure was intense, almost painful, but the satisfaction was bone-deep. this was what the heat demanded. what his body needed. to breed his mate thoroughly, completely, until there was no doubt that it would take.
"i know," he murmured, his voice softening slightly even as his hips continued to grind against yours in small, instinctive movements. "i know, yawne. you are doing so well. taking everything i give you. so small, and yet you hold all of me. all of my seed."
his hand stroked over your distended stomach almost reverently, feeling the swell of it, the proof of his claim. you were marked inside and out now, filled and knotted and bred exactly as instinct demanded.
the knot would not go down for a while yet. you were locked together, his cock still hard inside you, still pulsing occasionally with aftershocks. every small movement sent sparks of over-sensitised pleasure-pain through you.
"this is just the first," tonowari said, his eyes still dark with heat even though the desperate edge had dulled slightly. "the heat will last days. i will take you again and again. will keep you full and bred until my body is satisfied that you carry my child."
you shivered at the promise in his words, at the knowledge that this was far from over. your body was already exhausted, overwhelmed, and yet some deep part of you responded to his words with want.
"rest now," he murmured, carefully shifting you both so you lay on your sides, still locked together. his much larger body curled around yours protectively, one hand splayed possessively over your swollen stomach. "rest while you can. i will need you again soon."
you could already feel it, the heat building in him again, the way his cock twitched inside you, the tension returning to his muscles. this was only the beginning. the heat would drive him to take you repeatedly, to ensure his seed took root, and your body would have to endure it all.
time became fluid, measured only in the rhythm of tonowari's breathing against your neck and the slow, aching throb where you were still joined. minutes or hours might have passed, you could not tell. your body trembled with aftershocks, oversensitive and wrung out, while his seed continued to pulse weakly inside you, trapped by the knot that showed no signs of softening.
until finally, gradually, you felt it begin to recede.
the process was slow, almost agonising in its own way. each millimeter the swelling decreased made you acutely aware of how stretched you had been, how completely he had claimed every inch of you. tonowari's breathing had evened out behind you, his grip loosening slightly, and for a moment you thought perhaps the heat had broken.
you were wrong.
when the knot had finally softened enough, he pulled out with a low groan, and the rush of fluid that followed was obscene. it poured from you, thick and hot, far too much for your body to contain. You gasped at the sensation, at the sudden emptiness after being so impossibly full, and felt it coating your thighs, soaking into the woven mat beneath you.
"look at you," tonowari breathed, his voice rough with renewed hunger. his hand slid between your legs, fingers gathering the mess he had made, pushing it back inside you with a possessiveness that made you whimper. "leaking already. your body cannot even hold all i give you."
you were too exhausted to respond, your muscles liquid, your mind hazy. you thought perhaps he would let you rest now, let you recover before-
his scent hit you again, sharper than before, more intense. the heat was rising in him once more, faster this time, more demanding. you felt him shift behind you, felt his cock already hardening again against your lower back, and your breath caught.
"tonowari," you managed, your voice hoarse. "i need-"
"i know what you need," he growled, and suddenly his hands were on you, rolling you onto your stomach with an ease that reminded you exactly how much larger he was, how easily he could move you, position you, take you however he wanted. "you need your mate to breed you properly. to fill you until your body has no choice but to accept my child."
your arms were shaking as you tried to push yourself up, but he was already there, one massive hand pressing between your shoulder blades, keeping your chest down while his other hand gripped your hip, pulling your ass up.
the position made you feel even smaller beneath him, vulnerable and exposed. you could feel him behind you, the heat radiating from his body, the weight of his cock resting against your abused entrance. you were still so sensitive, still swollen and tender from the first round, and yet your body responded, slick gathering despite the soreness.
"i cannot be gentle this time," tonowari warned, but there was no apology in his voice. only raw need. "the heat, it is worse now. stronger. i need to mount you, breed you, make sure it takes."
"then do it," you gasped, because what else could you say? this was what the heat demanded. what his body needed. and yours would endure it.
he entered you in one brutal thrust.
you cried out, the stretch even more intense from this angle, the way gravity pulled you down onto him as he drove up into you. there was no careful working in this time, no gradual adjustment. he simply took, claimed, filled you with the single-minded focus of a male in the grip of heat.
"fuck," tonowari hissed, the crude word foreign on his tongue, dragged out by instinct. "so tight. even after i just bred you, your cunt grips me like it never wants to let go."
his hips snapped forward, setting a punishing rhythm immediately. each thrust drove the air from your lungs, drove him impossibly deep, the angle letting him reach places that made stars burst behind your eyes. the wet sounds of your coupling filled the marui, obscene and primal.
"you were made for this," he growled, his grip on your hip bruising as he used it for leverage, pulling you back onto his cock with each forward drive. "made to take your olo'eyktan's cock. to be bred by me. look how your little body stretches around me."
you could not look, could barely think, but you felt it. felt the impossible girth of him forcing your walls apart, felt the way your entrance strained around his thickness. from this position, the size difference was even more pronounced, his body covering yours completely, his hands so large they nearly spanned your entire waist, his cock so thick you did not understand how your body accommodated it.
but it did. it always did.
"tonowari," you sobbed, your fingers clawing at the mat beneath you, searching for purchase as he fucked into you with increasing desperation. "it is too much, i cannot-"
"you can," he cut you off, leaning over you, his chest pressing against your back, his weight pinning you down as he continued to drive into you. "you will. your body knows what to do. knows how to take me. how to milk every drop of seed from my cock."
his teeth found your shoulder, biting down hard enough to leave marks, and you keened at the sharp pleasure-pain of it. he was losing himself to the heat completely now, all pretense of control abandoned. this was pure instinct, pure need, the drive to breed, to claim, to ensure his mate carried his child.
"feel how deep i am," he panted against your skin, one hand sliding beneath you to press against your lower belly. "feel how i fill you. how your body makes room for me even though i am too big. even though i should not fit."
you felt it. felt the pressure of his hand from the outside and his cock from within, felt the way your belly yielded to accommodate him. the sensation was overwhelming, impossible to process, and yet your body responded with a fresh wave of slick, easing his way despite the soreness.
"that's it," tonowari praised, his voice a dark rumble.
his pace increased, each thrust harder than the last, and you could feel him swelling inside you again. already. the knot was forming faster this time, the heat driving his body to complete the breeding as quickly as possible.
"going to knot you again," he warned, though there was nothing you could do about it, nowhere you could go with his weight pinning you down and his cock buried inside you. "going to lock us together and fill you even fuller than before. going to pump so much seed into you that your belly swells with it."
"please," you whimpered, though you did not know what you were begging for. for him to stop? to continue? for relief from the overwhelming sensation or for more of it?
"please what?" tonowari demanded, his hips grinding against yours, the base of his cock catching on your entrance with each thrust. "please breed you? please knot you? please make sure you carry my child?"
"yes," you gasped, because it was all true, all of it. "yes, all of it, please.."
he groaned, the sound echoing through the marui as his knot caught, swelling rapidly until it locked you together once more. the stretch was agonising and perfect all at once, your body protesting and accepting simultaneously. you felt impossibly full, stretched beyond what should be possible, and then-
he came.
the first pulse of seed was like a flood, hot and thick, filling you instantly. but he did not stop. could not stop. the heat drove him to empty himself completely, pulse after pulse of cum pumping into you with a force that made your belly cramp. you could feel it, feel the sheer volume of it, feel the way it had nowhere to go with his knot sealing you shut.
"take it," tonowari growled, his hips jerking with each pulse, grinding his knot against your entrance. "take all of it. every drop. let it fill you until you cannot hold anymore."
your belly was swelling again, distending with the sheer amount of seed he was pumping into you. you looked down, watched in dazed fascination as your stomach rounded, the skin stretching taut. it should not be possible. no body should be able to produce this much, and yet the heat made it so, made his body determined to ensure conception through sheer volume alone.
"look at you," tonowari breathed, his hand sliding around to cup your cunt. "look how well you take me. how your body accepts everything i give you."
you could not respond, could only whimper as another pulse of cum filled you. the pressure was intense and yet beneath it was a strange satisfaction, a primal contentment at being so thoroughly claimed and bred.
tonowari shifted slightly, rolling you both onto your sides again, his knot still locked firmly inside you, his cock still pulsing weakly. his hand held your stomach, possessive and reverent, feeling the evidence of his claim.
"this is only the second time," he murmured against your neck, his voice still rough with heat despite the temporary satisfaction. "i will take you many more times before the heat breaks."
you shivered, exhausted and overwhelmed, your body already dreading and craving the next round in equal measure. the heat would not be satisfied easily. it would drive him to take you again and again, each time as intense as the last, until his instincts were finally appeased.
and you would take it gladly, would take everything he gave you. because he was your mate, and this was what the bond demanded.
༻༺
hi!! i had great fun writing this one, hope you guys enjoy it because i know i did!!
as always, i appreciate any support towards my work, requests are still open so submit whatever your heart desires! thank you!! - maya 🪼
aonung being jealous of the forest boys because of you.
૮꒰ ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ྀི꒱ა
swearing, angst, and lotsss of jealously lol
you were supposed to be his ray of constant sunshine, the future woman he would soon ask to be his. but then the forest people showed up, taking the whole clan by surprise. you and tsireya were particularly enamored by the pair of boys, never seeing such a vibrant blue—a kitten like tail that swished with disagreement.
it bothered him more then he’d ever acknowledge, he couldn’t sway tsireya when she had made up her mind but he refused to let you fall into their set up trap of love. you were always seen with aonung anyway. everyone knew what he dreamed to do expect you, little giggles and snickers followed when you two walked hand in hand together to collect weaving materials. or when he’d be clinging onto your shoulders while you talked to the other men about wanting to learn how to fish so masterfully like them, but really in his world completely oblivious to yours—was staking his claim on you. fingers dwindling with your beads, touching the bare skin of your chest while he drilled holes in the other men—saying, “i dare you to try and take her fishing without me.”
he was a patient man, grew up to follow in his fathers righteous footsteps. but that thread had finally snapped on one sunny day of you and tsireya teaching the forest kids how to ride. his jaw clenched so tightly he swore he heard it pop, roxto beside him trying to tell him it wasn’t worth the argument—not worth the fists going to be thrown. but he completely tuned that voice out, only his own thoughts hammering to snatch you away. hide you from those pathetic men who couldn’t even hold their breath as long as he could, they would only be burden to you. they couldn’t protect you like he could. that’s all he could think about, letting out a puff of anger as he rolled his head back.
he had decided, this would go on no longer between you and neteyam. he was the future olo’eytkan, you had no choice but to listen to him. he had never pulled that card on you before but he would if he had to. if anything he hated the huge role he would have to fill after his father passed it on, but it came in handy for situations as demanding as this.
he dove into the water as he had a million times over, but this time felt different. he had planned to be upset at you, shit. he didn’t even recognize who he was right now. especially not when he came over to you and neteyam laughing, that sickly sweet smile etched onto your face. oblivious to world around you, tightening the bindings on neteyams hand. he swore he couldn’t think of anything else other then separating you two forever, that and punching neteyam in the mouth hoping a few teeth fell out.
aonung wouldn’t watch any longer, grabbing your hand and pushing it away from neteyams. he tightened the bindings himself as you watched, a confused faced was present—eyebrows furrowing. “you will go back to help my mother weave, you do not help him any longer.” he shot out, a little more aggressive then he intended. neteyam just looked at you with the same exact confusion, feeling the thick tension aonung had carried with his words.
“aonung i am allowed to help whoever i please, and your mother has not asked me weave with her.” you crossed your arms over your chest, trying not to show how deeply upset you were by him raising his voice at you. neteyam noticed, just as aonung always does. but his rage was blinding him from the way your bottom lip trembled.
“come riding with me, i need your masterful skills in case i get lost.” neteyam patted the space in front of him, a flush of heat rose onto your face. you and aonung without fail had rode ilu together, you would rest your body on his chest as he talked about all the fish he caught—about how he felt so much pressure to fill his fathers shoes. you knew your loyalty should undeniably lie with him but right now you were so upset by his behavior it was clouding every logical decision.
so you nodded, taking his hand as he helped you to sit infront of him. roxto came so quickly he practically fell off his ilu, splashing into the water to try to talk some sense into aonung. because roxto knew his wouldn’t end well for either sides. “aonung come on, just think for a second!” he looked around for other men who might be able to pull him off of neteyam but it was just the four of you. roxto clicked his tongue, grabbing the attention from a few other fishermen who were watching the whole thing anyway.
“y/n you will get down now,” his voice had went cold, not a single sliver of that playful aonung you grew to love. he had finalized his decision and if you defied there would undoubtedly be some sort of consequence. his hand not moving from your wrist, not hurting but firm. his gaze was screaming to you, screaming the words, “get down and we will talk about this privately.” you hated how it made your chest bloom with a strange feeling, somehow making you feel giddy that he cared this much about a simple ilu ride.
you were about to get off, just about to dip back into the water before neteyam had stopped you. his words in particular, “don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? she’s allowed to make her own decisions.” he placed your hand back onto the ilu, gripping it like he had the right to. like it was meant to be there.
shit.
“ro’uk!” roxto shouted to the strong man, signaling him to rush over before something happened. before aonung punched him in the mouth, neteyam rode off with laughter. looking back to see that ro’uk was trying to hold back aonung from getting a spear gun to—well, you get the idea.
you let out a large breath of air you hadn’t even known to be holding, relieved to be taken away from that situation but it still sat in your gut. knowing the one man you cherished be so upset at you had made you feel so defeated, would he ever treat you the same way again?
an hour later.
a whole hour of riding together had passed, giggling as you circled back to the front of the maruis. but that bubbly energy quickly died down as you saw a furious aonung shouting at roxto, ro’uk and teyoa. cursing under your breath, telling neteyam to just go home instead of letting him see the two of you together. nervously, you dove into the water as neteyam rode the other way to avoid an argument.
his eyes immediately snapped to you. unmistakably fueled with anger, unable to decipher whether it was at you or the man who thought he could take his woman for a stupid ilu ride. he rushed towards you, not aggressive, not strong, just hurried. the men grabbed him, trying not to cause a scene but they had personally never seen such an angry aonung. he was playful, a lovable asshole. never lost his temper with things that didn’t matter. but you did, god you were the only thing he truly cared about. the other girls tried to seduce him, offer him weaved tops only the most skilled could master. but none of that mattered to him, he only saw through you, only wanted you. how could you be so oblivious?
“you disobeyed my direct orders,” his piercingly blue eyes were raking over every single micro inch of your body, clenching his fist so tight the skin turned flush. before you could defend yourself he stopped you. “do you think my words are a joke? that i say things for no reason? y/n you will never talk to him again do i make myself clear?”
your heart dropped along with your gaze, unable to recognize this newfound aonung who was using his power over you. to control you, he hated talking to you like this but he was too deep to stop now, you would listen to him on this whether you liked it or not. even roxto had muttered something, so did the two men beside him. “we will talk privately,” he elbowed the men off of him, grabbing you’re wrist as he lead you where no one would interrupt.
heart slamming so wildly onto your ribs you could feel it in your mouth, certain he could hear it as well. bottom lip wobbling, tears welling. feet trying to keep up with his furious pace, squeaking against the sand as he finally had stopped. turning around quickly, his chest rising and falling while he bit onto his bottom lip angrily.
you couldn’t look at him in the face right now, he was to upset to even be rational. explaining all of his behavior you knew tonowari hadn’t heard about yet. but when he did he’d sit both of you down to talk like adults, so right now you’d talk like angry children. crossing your arms over your chest, looking at anything but him.
“look at me,” he said sternly, no room for any hint of sarcasm.
“no.”
he scoffed, truly scoffed. upset at you just as upset you were with him. “you go riding with another man and can’t even look me in the eye?” he boomed, starting to become knowledgeable about how much he hurt you’re feelings. “if you don’t reason with me here im going to leave this spot and spear him in the chest.” that got you’re attention, god. why did you care so much about that freak?
“you’re being ridiculous, he’s completely new to our world aonung! he doesn’t even know how to hold his breath for longer then three minutes! you—” stopping yourself before you said something that was coerced by the untamable anger. “you are not allowed to tell me who i cannot help, you know my character better then anyone aonung. i am a natural helper at heart.” pointing a finger at him, you often talked angrily with your hands.
“i am not allowed?” he laughed, it was fake—inching closer to you as his breath fanned against your face. you hated how good he looked right now, how you wanted to reach out and just smash your lips on his. “do you understand how many men throw themselves at you daily? do you understand that as a man i could read his body language? he was grinning ear to ear as he swam away, hes trying to take you from me!” he shouted, throwing his hands in the air walking away—trying to calm himself down at the thought of another man thinking he could ever touch your beaded chest top.
“take—did you just say take? im not some sort of valuable fish aonung!” you yelled back, blood completely boiled. not sure if his ego finally caught up to him but he was merely treating you as an object, not as a woman he cherished. you stormed off. feet rushing you to go back home and forget this all happened, he shouted your name far to many times before it died down. realizing if you both slept this off it would be a better conversation for the morning.
aonung had some serious apologizing to do in the morning..
aaaahhhh!! this was so long but i will 1001% make a part two if this does well!! what do you guys think?? i felt pretty crappy writing aonung out to be such a jerk but i have lotsss planned for the next part >:)) also i loved neteyam being a little rebel knowing it would stir up trouble!!
Synopsis, Spider wasn’t the first human born on Pandora, but he was the first to grow up on it. You had Neytiri’s heart long before Jake came along, and you’d have both of theirs long after. The problem is, humans weren’t meant for Pandora. Even so, Eywa saw you, and it seems like she accepted you. Maybe that's why, even after being without you for so long, they saw you again.
WC: 10.5k (oh wow)
inspired by @jsooly taken in by the sullys series!
A/N: I wrote this quite literally at 5 am, and it's drastically different from my usual writing style, but I like it! Very bittersweet! and written with the assumption that whoever is reading this knows about Sylwanin and her lore.
You were born to a soldier on Pandora, a Seargant who seemed unbothered by her pregnancy during her term. The RDA wasn’t progressive, not at all, but they weren’t so cruel (at least to their own race) that they’d force a pregnant woman into work. Your mother simply made the decision to keep working, no matter how unsafe it was.
After she gave birth to you, she seemed… inattentive at best. She took maternity leave for the required period of time and got back into the action once she was cleared, leaving you essentially alone. It wasn’t long after her redeployment that she was killed in action along with the rest of her squad. An unfortunate accident in the dangerous wilds of Pandora
So, motherless and unclaimed by a father, you were orphaned. Too young for Cryo, they let you stay. Your mother's room became yours and yours alone.
Of course, the RDA base was no place for a child. Ill-equipped and non-accommodative. The higher-ups reasoned that you’d best be left to the scientists and doctors. They’d know how to take care of a kid best, right?
Of course, no one really paid much attention to you. Giving the minimum attention necessary to keep you alive, lest they carry the guilt of neglecting an infant to death.
Grace wasn’t sure what to think of you when you were put in her care. She was a scientist, not a babysitter. Her focus was on the Na’vi, their way of life, and the organisms living on Pandora. She didn’t have time to look after a kid.
You were shucked off onto some lower-level scientists and assistants. She didn’t hear much from you other than your crying, which was always met with swift confinement to your room with your current caretaker.
Eventually, though, you became autonomous. You were quick, slippery, and curious. The ones in charge of you didn’t pay much attention, which led to you sneaking around. Once, finding your way into Grace's lab.
She found you at her desk, standing on her chair in only an ill-fitting t-shirt and diapers, leaning over and staring at the projection of various pictures she had up.
Grace wasn’t cruel; she may not have wanted to be responsible for you, but she held the same fondness for kids that most did.
Carefully, she picked you up, sitting you in her lap, and asked you what you were doing.
“Pic!” Is all you blurted out, head turned around, and staring at her with your wide and curious eyes. Grace chuckled, nodding as she hummed and affirmed your babbles.
You spent the rest of that day in her hold, watching as she scrolled through the pictures and videos she had in the database, explaining, in the most child-friendly way, the ones you were interested in.
Being just over a year old, you weren’t still in her lap. Wriggling around, grabbing at her and objects, even standing up in her lap and jumping up and down, which she swiftly stopped. Despite all this, Grace was patient with you. Perhaps it was your curiosity for Pandora that softened her, the fact that you were interested in something she’d devoted her life to researching.
A new brain to fill, maybe.
So, you made frequent trips to the lab after that. Slipped past your caretakers and crawling into Grace or Max’s laps, whoever was available, and babbling on and on. You weren’t the center of attention or a priority, but you became somewhat of a soft spot for Grace and her fellow scientists. Not as much of a burden, anymore.
It wasn’t long before you started picking up on the Na’vi phrases being used, especially once you discovered the parts of the lab dedicated more towards the avatars and culture of the Na’vi. Grace, ever the enabler of your interest in Pandora, started speaking to you in almost strictly Na’vi.
Being so young, you picked up on it incredibly quickly, nearly at the same speed as English, which you’d only really started learning a month or two prior.
It was cute to them, having a little human baby babbling in Na’vi and focusing so intently on the fauna and flora you saw in catalogs. Some even joked that your bedtime book should be the one Grace wrote.
They called you the LabRat around the base. A term of endearment, of course. Many knew about you, the loose kid on base who scurried around and spent almost as much time in the lab as the scientists. You were cute. But really, that’s all you were to them, a cute kid.
But to Grace? Somewhere along the way, she grew more fond of you than she’d expected. She ate with you at breakfast, watching you messily eat out of the corner of her eye as she held conversations with the other scientists. You stuck to her side, only ever really leaving it when you wanted to be with Max or go to sleep. Even then, she often had to carry you to your room multiple times throughout the day when you fell asleep in her lap.
You spent a lot of time with Max, too. Whenever Grace was in her Avatar, which was often, you found yourself with him. He was always a little softer with you, having been more fond and sympathetic with you earlier on.
He treated you more like a kid than most others. He didn’t really try to feed your curiosity with Pandora, instead focusing on the fact that you were a deprived orphan child. He was the most suited to take care of you, probably.
At some point, you found your way into the Avatar lab, watching through the windows. No one really saw it coming, but you escaped. With your little mask that was slightly too big for your face, you ran out the door, gunning right for Grace’s Avatar.
They didn’t really think you’d recognize her, but you did, and you wanted to see her. Of course, you were a little intimidated by her drastic change in appearance and height, but at this point, you knew about the Na’vi and Avatars, so you didn’t have much of a problem.
Grace, in her Avatar form, was perhaps even more loving towards you. Maybe it was the youth of the body, or the fact that she had her own internal favoritism for it, but she seemed happier. Something you picked up on quickly.
You loved being outside. No longer were you content being cooped up in the lab, you wanted to see the forest! Of course, they weren’t exactly ok with the idea, but your crying eventually convinced them.
Grace decided to take you to the school. She’d made excellent progress with the Omaticaya through the school, maybe it would be good to start introducing some direct human contact… through you. And she figured it could be good for your development, meeting beings that weren’t just inattentive scientists and soldiers.
With your mask on and sporting your cutest clothes, Grace took you to the school. The Na’vi kids were unsure about you at first, with their adverse feelings about Skypeople, but eventually they opened up.
You were small, so incredibly small. Even the young children had no problems holding and cradling you. You were cute in your own, human, way.
They were intrigued by the fact that your Na’vi was as good as your English. Granted, neither were particularly good, seeing as you were a toddler, but it's the fact that they were at the same level that they admired.
Sylwanin was especially interested in you, often taking you in her arms, cooing and coddling you.
“Sa’nok, she’s so small!” She’d exclaim to Grace, who’d laugh in response.
“Well, she’s human. You’re probably at least 2 feet taller than my human body, and I’m an adult.” She leaned over Sylwanin, smiling down at the scene. “She’s just a youngin’, not even 2 years old.”
From then on, you were a regular addition to Grace’s school and a personal favorite of Sylwanin and Neytiri. The two sisters absolutely adored you. Cooing over you and your babbles, sitting you in between them or on one of their laps during the lessons.
Often, they’d sit in the back with you, giggling at your tiny body and antics, brushing your hair, or watching as you fiddled with whatever toy or objects you could get your hands on.
Between your time in the lab and out at the school, you were the first human to be culturally raised Na’vi. It was fascinating to Grace.
Tsu’tey was cautious of you at first, unsure of how to handle how small and frail you were. But out of everything, you were also incredibly persistent and curious. Somehow, you found yourself worming your way into Tsu’tey’s arms, waddling up to him and demanding he pick you up through body language.
Sylwanin found this utterly adorable, how you’d stand there and “Hmf!” until he reached down and picked you up. He didn’t really know how to hold you, hands tucked under your armpits, torso and legs dangling in the air, but you crawled your way around him, finding yourself sitting on his shoulders. Well, shoulder, to be exact. You could comfortably sit on one, granted it was with one of his hands on your legs to keep your balance while you grabbed onto his braids.
“Tey-Tey” “Wanin” and “Tiri” you called them, not really able to pronounce their full names. They, of course, didn’t care, cooing at the babble of nicknames you gave them.
In turn, they started to call you “Syulì'ang”, a butterfly-like insect that was known for its characteristic claws that latched it onto whatever it landed on. A fitting nickname, they all thought.
Their sweet Syulì'ang. Tsu’tey was more or less simply amused by you once he was comfortable. He wasn't as doting as Sylwanin or Neytiri or some of the others; he liked you, but it was more or less than he was entertained by you.
Of course, that changed the more you stuck around. By the time you’d learned to walk well enough to walk to the school yourself, with Grace accompanying you, of course, he was always waiting by the doorway. He’d give a simple nod to Grace when the pair of you came into view, and he tried to remain stoic as you ran forward, your small body knocking into his tall legs and calling out his name, but Grace, and just about anyone else who really knew him, could see through it.
You spent your developmental years at the school, growing up so quickly that the Na’vi kids didn’t know what to do. When they first met you, you could barely walk, and all you could really do was babble and string together words, but years passed, and you began holding conversations and moving around fairly fluidly.
Of course, you were still small and babyish, still just a toddler, but toddlers grew and changed fast.
You were like their baby sister. Tsmuke, they called you. To them, you were really no different from another Na’vi kid. You spoke fluently, you were young and saw the world in a manner that seemed to reflect their own cultural point of view, perhaps from your exposure to it.
Grace couldn’t really place when she started to love you. Maybe it was when you first called her “Sa’nok”, copying the kids at the schoolhouse. Maybe it was when that transformed into “Sa’nu”, or when it became “mama” when back in the lab. Maybe it was that day you first caught her attention, having snuck into the lab and into her heart.
She never corrected you when you called her those things, even when she got odd stares from the others around when you did. They just didn’t get it. They were too wrapped up in their own world. And yeah, so was she, but at some point, you became a part of her world.
She didn’t really think of herself as your parent, but she didn’t mind if you thought of her as one. She wasn’t really the nicest; she was definitely more of a ‘tough love’ kind of parental figure, but that wasn’t really all that bad.
Pandora wasn’t suited for you. You weren’t supposed to be there, and it wasn’t a good place for you by any means. You weren’t given proper attention or affection, and when you were, it wasn't consistent. Grace and Max, and the Na’vi kids weren’t role model family figures, but they tried, and they loved you, no matter how… odd it was.
At some point, you’d met Mo’at and Eytukan. Likely, they’d heard of you from their daughters and Tsu’tey. It was hard to tell what they thought of you, after all, they had their own reservations about the humans, only allowing the school to function due to Sylwanin's request.
But they liked you enough. You were a kid, a toddler, innocent in what was being done to their planet. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of any prejudice they held towards the humans. You spoke the language and learned beside their children. You seemed to love the forest as if it were your own home.
Formally, you met Mo’at when you fell down and scraped yourself while running out of the school, being chased by Sylwanin. You cried, of course, but Sylwanin, as calm as ever, simply scooped you up and told Grace she was taking you to her mother to get fixed up, running off before she could object.
You watched the Tsahik in awe as she worked on you, rubbing a salve on your wounds, her jewelry and beadings clinking together as she did so. You watch her in silence, Sylwanin giggling at your entranced demeanor. At the end, climbing back into Sylwanin’s arms, you turned and told Mo’at she was magnificent. A big word for your age.
Mo’at had to admit, you were a charming little kid.
Neytiri was especially charmed by you, often taking you from anyone else's arms to hold you in hers. It became a running joke that she’d adopt and steal you away if she could. She never denied it.
You could always be found fiddling with her hair or necklaces, pulling at them or putting them in your mouth. Neytiri, despite not liking your actions, was patient with you, simply giggling as she pulled it from your grasp and pointed your attention elsewhere.
Some people on base started to voice complaints about you being out too much. Being gifted jewelry and pieces by Sylwanin and Neytiri, and one piece from Tsu’tey, you began dressing in them every day.
Of course, the complaints went nowhere, being no more than off-hand comments made by people who had no role or responsibility in your upbringing. As loved as you were, you were still overlooked more often than not, just an orphan kid who wandered in and out of the base. Outside of Grace, Max, and a few other scientists, no one really cared.
You had your routine. Getting up, spending time with Max before running out with Grace to the school. The school was your favorite place, you often told Neytiri and Tsu’tey in giddy whispers. You felt free and loved. It was your place.
When Sylwanin stopped showing up, you were sad. You missed her. Really, she was your favorite.
You didn’t understand why you stopped going to the school, why Grace started arguing with a bunch of the soldiers more often, and why you were no longer allowed outside of the base. You cried a lot, saying you wanted your Tsmuke’s and Tsmukan. You wanted to go to the school, you wanted to see Neytiri and Sylwanin and Tsu’tey and the others.
You cried when a scientist, tired of your whining, told you they probably didn’t want to see you.
Grace had a hard time comforting you. She didn’t know what to say, struggling with her own grief and guilt in the whole situation. All she could do was hold you and tell you that things were going to be okay.
It was a while before you stopped crying so much. You still whined about wanting to go outside, but you learned to stop when asked. You spent your nights fiddling with the gifts from Neytiri and Sylwanin, the jewelry they crafted for you, the toy Mo’at gifted you once, and the Ikran Tsu’tey carved for you out of wood. They were your most treasured pieces.
You worked on your own gifts for them, on and off, through the two years you spent without them.
You were six by the time Jake came around. You became attached to him very quickly.
He’d just made it to base and was getting filled in by Norm. His introduction to Grace wasn’t going well, bordered by her hostility towards him being there in place of his brother. Before he could say anything else, you bounded into the room.
“Sa'nu! sa'nu! 'ur 'upe oe run!” Mama! Mama! Look what I found! You yelled, stopping at her feet and shoving an insect you were cradling in your palm into her face.
She glanced at the bug and tilted her head, raising a brow at you. “ Y/n, nga kame nga're ke tung wrrpa, ‘itetsyip.” You know you’re not allowed outside, little one.
You pouted, stomping your foot. “Oe ke wrrkä! tsal pamähem ne oe.” I didn't go out! It came to me. You insisted. Grace merely rolled her eyes with a grin as she ruffled your hair.
Jake looked at Norm, confused, who translated a lazy “she’s showing her a bug.” for him.
As if you just noticed their presence, you awkwardly glanced at the two, shyly shuffling behind Grace. Jake glanced between you and Grace before leaning in.
“What’s that you got there?” He asked, smiling as he watched your facial expression change. Before he knew it, you were launched into a whole explanation about the bug. It's name, both scientific and Na’vi, and all the fun little characteristics you noticed and pointed out to him.
It was easy to tell who you’re favorite was going to be among the newest science recruits. You became quick friends with the ex-Marine, demanding his attention whenever he wasn’t busy.
You were an interesting little thing. Energetic as all could be, running around like you owned the place, switching between languages so casually as if they were one. Jake paid more attention to you in a week than most of the people on base had in your entire life.
He’d come by your room, peaking in as you played with your toys or read a book you definitely didn’t actually understand. As soon as you noticed his presence, you’d abandon whatever it was you were doing to run to him, hoisting yourself up into his lap.
“What's up, little bug?” He’d say, smiling down at you as you went on and on about whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Most of it went right over his head, but he listened nonetheless. He got the memo pretty early on that you were essentially left to your own devices, only helped with the bare minimum by people who didn’t want to be responsible for you
So, he started being more attentive towards you. Call it fatherly instincts, he calls it common empathy. You didn’t have any plans or expectations for him, you weren’t disappointed in his presence in place of his brothers, you simply looked up at him with those wide and love-filled eyes. That was all he needed to become hooked. His little bug, he liked to call you.
To Norm, Jake had adapted a fatherly role scarily quickly. Of course, Norm thought you were cute, but he wasn’t really sure what to do with you. It puzzled him how well Jake was with you, for only knowing you for a few days. How you crawled into his lab during one of the briefings, obviously tired but wanting to be involved.
The briefing was casual, so Jake wrapped his arms around you and cradled you, rocking you in his arms as he hummed a lullaby he’d grown up with on Earth.
It was the first time someone had sung you a lullaby, at least since you were a crying infant everyone was desperate to soothe. You fell asleep in his arms immediately. Grace only gave a passing glance and a chuckle, stating he was now on bedtime duty.
And that he was. You were a stubborn kid when it came to bedtime, fighting your own sleep and exhaustion because you wanted to be where the attention was. You didn’t want to miss out on any of Grace or Max’s briefings or discoveries, no matter how dull they were, or the fact that they didn’t really happen after hours. Nevertheless, you were difficult to put to sleep.
He was quickly called the Y/n Whisperer after he calmed you down from a tantrum and had you knocked out in bed within 10 minutes of you being told to go to sleep, an affair that often took at least half an hour and some strong bargaining.
Jake was still reeling from it all. For him, he was still dealing with the fact that his brother was dead and he’d taken his place on a scientific mission on Pandora, whisked away from his dystopic life on Earth and given a brand new chance. It was dizzying, and now he had a kid attached to his leg.
Call it what it was: whiplash. He doesn’t really understand why you liked him so much, why he was able to connect with you so well. Maybe it was because he was the first person to spare you a second glance in your entire life, a second glance you didn’t have to work and beg for.
If given the chance, Jake was sure you two would be absolutely inseparable.
It was during dinner that things shifted. You were there for Jake's recounting of the events that transpired after he got chansed off by a Thanator. Through it all, all you heard was that he’d met Neytiri.
Neytiri. Your Neytiri.
You missed her. You missed her so bad, and Jake got to see her. It had been two years, and you thought for sure there was no way you’d be able to see her again. But Jake saw her! He even went to the village, so he likely saw Tsu’tey, Mo’at, and Sylwanin!
Seeing them was possible. That was the conclusion you came to.
Tsu’tey was the one to find you the next day. You had snuck out, exopack secured on for the first time in nearly two years, and you set off. Your memory was hazy, and you hardly remembered your way through the forest.
Scratch that, you didn’t remember it at all. You got lost almost immediately, your excitement to see your friends slowly replaced with uncertainty and fear. You wandered through the woods, climbing across logs and rivers, becoming more and more sure that you weren’t going the right way…
Of course, you didn’t know what to do. No one could really blame you for how you started crying out, yelling for Neytiri, Tsu’tey, Sylwanin, Grace, whoever you thought could find you.
It wasn’t until you heard the growl that you regretted your decision to be so loud. Nantang. They surrounded you, stalking and getting ready to pounce. All you could do was scream.
Tsu’tey found you, following the distant yelling for familiar names and then the high-pitched screams. He shot the Nantang, scaring off the others as he rode in on his pa’li. He was ready to shoot you, the human who had trespassed onto their land, but he paused. Arrow resting between his fingers, and breath hitched.
It was you.
He was quick, dismounting his direhorse and scooping you up in his arms, doing his best to soothe you with soft words as you cried and writhed in his hold. Blood was everywhere. He was horrified.
He acted on pure impulse. Jake. Jake probably knew you. He was also human, and he was an avatar- so he probably knew Grace- he had to get you to Jake.
So he rode on his direhorse as fast as he could, holding you tightly in his arms as you bled and bled and cried. Oh, how you cried, clinging to him and whimpering, he felt so helpless. Exactly like how he’d felt that day Sylwanin died in his arms at the school house. He couldn’t have that happen again. Not with you. Not with the small girl he’d grown so fond of.
It was a blur, finding Jake and Neytiri, the morphing look of terror on their faces as they took in the sight of the girl in his arms and his disjointed explanation. It was a blur, and he was on his knees, Neytiri holding onto him as they both shook, taking in the situation as Jake ran off into the woods with you in his arms, pushing himself as fast as he could go.
Jake was scared. You were such a sweet girl, and in the days he’d known you, he was hooked. You were small, petulant, stubborn, smart; you were a good kid. You were funny and fun to be around, and he liked you. He saw why Grace had such a soft spot for you, who wouldn’t?
But now you’re in his arms, bleeding, and Grace is gonna be horrified.
He got you to the base, bursting through the doors, demanding a doctor, yelling you needed help because you were hurt and bleeding. You were small, hurt, bleeding, and it felt like you were at death's door.
You were swept out of his arms, and all you could do was whimper, reaching back out to the strong arms you felt safe in. They hooked you up to machines, tended to your wounds. They assured Jake and a just-arriving-frazzled Grace that you were gonna be fine.
But the base wasn’t a hospital. Yeah, it was a military base, and those often come with medical centers, but it wasn’t good, especially not for a child. With how advanced they were, they weren’t well equipped.
You suffered for days, writhing and screaming in pain, tears only stopping once you ran out of them.
Despite Grace and Max’s pleas and Jake's insistence towards Quaritch, you were essentially… ignored.
You were loved. But you were still just a bastard orphaned child; the RDA simply didn’t want to deal with you, especially with your seemingly growing allegiance to the Na’vi.
Of course, they did what they could to help you, but it was minimal.
You were going to die, Grace and Jake were sure of it.
So, desperate, he went to Mo’at. He pleaded for her to help you. She didn’t need much convincing.
The night before Grace planned to move the operation to the Hallelujah Mountains, they snuck you out, careful to remove all your hook-ups to the machines.
They took you to the village, breaking so many rules, desperate to help you.
You were frail, withering away in his hold. The best he could do was whisper comforts as he carried you.
Mo’at worked quickly, shooing them out of her tent as she worked on you. Salves, mixes, incense. She worked for hours. You were just a little kid; you had so much before you. She pleaded to the Great Mother to help you, even if you were a human she could barely reach.
You were getting better, but it wasn’t enough. Something was wrong, very wrong, and she didn’t know what it was or how to help.
She pulled away, examining you with a hitched breath. Just as she went to move to grab another tool, something caught her attention.
An Atokirina.
It floated in the air, pulsing until it wilted down to meet your skin.
Mo’at’s eyes widened.
“We must take her to the Tree of Souls.” She declared as she stepped out of her tent, the group that had gathered in front of it standing and moving in confusion.
They wanted to question it. Jake wanted to ask what was wrong, how you were doing, and if you’d live. All the words were on the tip of his tongue, but Grace grabbed his hand. She kept her gaze forward, at the tent, but she’d communicated enough.
Tsu’tey was the one to take you into his arms, lips pursed, and eyes gazing down at you in worry. For a moment, Jake wanted to be the one to hold you, but you curled into Tsu’teys arms so comfortably- so familiar, a moment of comfort and assurance when you were in so much pain.
Neytiri followed close behind, hand resting on your forehead as they walked, her eyes focused on your face scrunched in agony, your pinched brows and wavering lips. How she wanted to soothe you, to hold you, and kiss away the creases of pain in your face.
You’d grown so much since they’d last seen you. You were still so small, but so much more grown. They had missed you so much, their grief compelled by the loss of two sisters. They nearly begged Mo’at and Eytukan to call off the ban on humans on their land, if only to see you.
And now, you were back in their arms, but by the force of necessity and desperation. Out of the fear of death.
The clan, having roused at the commotion, made their way to the Tree of Souls with the group. They didn’t question their Tsahik’s care of the human child, many of them having heard the accounts of you and your kindred nature from the many children who’d attended the school.
Arriving at the Tree, Neytiri and Tsu’tey kept Grace and Jake at a distance, allowing Mo’at to prepare as the clan gathered around. They pulled Jake and Grace down to the ground with them, connecting their Kuru to the roots sticking up. They started to hum, moving as a group.
With everything in them, they begged Eywa to help you.
You were human, yes, but they loved you. You were their sister. You were Grace's daughter, by love if not biology. You were a sweet kid, and they wanted- needed you to stay.
“Allow this child to heal, Great Mother, allow her to heal and walk among us. To live, to feel your embrace.” Mo’at’s words echoed, her chants and pleas thrumming through the crowd.
Placed at the base of the spirit tree, you lay there, wrapped in luminescent tendrils. They wrapped around your small body, seemingly consuming you as they grew. The light of the tendrils pulsed with your every breath, echoing across the tree like a ripple in water.
You… you felt free. The tendrils were warm, encasing you in what felt like a mother's embrace. Your vision was blurred, but you saw. You saw so much, all you could do was smile. You saw Sylwanin, every time you’d seen her, every word, every movement. She wrapped around you. You saw the sea, you saw the forest and the land. It was breathtaking.
Mo’at faltered, her chants falling off the tip of her tongue as she glanced down at you. At this, the ones who’d brought you here opened their eyes.
They didn’t know what to do.
You were there, alive. More alive than you’d ever been, but they could feel that you were slipping away.
Neytiri crawled towards you, Grace scrambling up and finding herself at your side. She took your hand in hers as Neytiri caressed your hair.
They knew it was a desperate attempt, taking you here, unlikely to work, but it hurt. They weren’t ready to let go. The humans weren’t going to help you. What else were they to do?
Tears slid down Grace’s face as she watched you, your eyes glazed over as a smile crept onto your lips.
“Y/n- Syulì'ang please-” Neytiri whispered, her voice cracking. She leaned down, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Stay” she begged
“Syulì'ang,” Tsu’tey choked out, pleading, biting back his words, and tears with them. “Be strong, stay with us.”
You heard their words. You wanted to reach up, to comfort them. Grace was right in front of you, and all you wanted was to reach up and wipe the tears off her face.
Grace cried. Silent, of course. Tears slipping down her cheeks like arrows of fire burning their way through the air. They hurt like it. She wondered if they’d scar, if there would be a trail of scarred flesh down her cheeks when she was done.
You were her child, at least, the closest she had to one. You were the best thing she’d had in a long time. And now, you were slipping away. Like the school, like Sylwanin, like Neytiri and Tsu’tey and the children who’d called her Sa’nok. You called her Sa’nu.
The grief was endless. A fountain pouring from Neytiri as she wept, hands shaking as she tried to fight the urge to take you into her arms. She’d seen you grow up, your words develop from babbles to sentences, your mind expand. She wore the bracelet you’d made for her. It was ill-fitting and poorly crafted, but she weaved it into her armband, careful to preserve its shape and structure. She meant to always have you with her, even if she couldn't physically.
You were more than a child she saw as a sister; you could have been her child. A ridiculous notion, but she felt so strongly about you. She wanted to take you in, hold you close, and carry you as she did her chores and duties. She wanted to hunt and bring it home for you to eat till you were full. Perhaps, to her, you were an odd mixture of a sister and child, but that just meant she loved you all the more.
Her sweet Syulì'ang. She’d named you after the insect, a beautiful creature that fluttered around and gripped onto surfaces when it meant to. She wished and wished and wished that you'd stay, that you’d grip onto the ground and stay there with her. She did not like humans, but you? You, she loved.
So it hurt, watching as your eyes closed, feeling your pulse slow, have you die right in front of her, right in her reach.
Your eyes, heavy, rose up to the sky. “Sa’nu, Tsmuke, Tsmukan, Jake-” Your words were quiet, strained, and heavy. But you spoke anyway, a warmth passing through your body. “Eywa, she’s” It was hard to speak. “She’s like the waves-” your breath released from your lips, cutting off your words.
The tendrils around you pulsed before they dulled, the light dimming across the Tree of Souls.
Jake could only hold Neytiri as she cried, his own tears falling as he felt his entire demeanor freeze.
They left you by the tree, something Grace opposed. But Mo’at had insisted it was Eywa’s wish. Jake and Grace weren’t happy, nor were Tsu’tey and Neytiri; they wanted to give you a proper burial, but they complied with their Tsahik’s declaration.
It was mere days later that Neytiri visited again, only to be met with an empty landscape. You were nowhere in sight, only an abundance of tendrils in your place, pulsing with light as Eywa breathed below them.
Ronal, for weeks, dreamed of a face. A human one. She’d never seen the girl before, unfamiliar with the face and voice she kept meeting in her dreams. It bothered her, being met so forcefully with a demon's face, but behind it, she felt the Great Mother's words.
She couldn’t make sense of it; it drove her wild how she prayed and prayed, and all she was met with were new visions of the girl. With a newborn baby, she felt stretched thin. She confided in Tonowari about her dreams. He did what he could to comfort her, putting in effort to relieve her of as much stress as he could.
Ronal prayed, seeking answers and clarity. What did the Great Mother want?
One night, she dreamed of the spirit tree, along with the girl. She dreamt of whispers, of a new face, of a young Metkayina child she held in her arms.
She woke up in a cold sweat, right as dawn rose in the sky.
She made her way through the village, mounting her tsurak, and traveled to the cove of the ancestors. She felt a weight in her chest as she arrived. She dove under, swimming through the featherlike branches as she made her way to the center of the tree.
She reached forward, placing her palms on the branches wrapped tightly in on itself. Slowly, she unwrapped it, pulling it away from the other ‘leaves’ wrapped around. Once she got to the center, she pulled back.
An infant lay in the middle, wrapped in the leaves. Slowly, she pulled it out, taking it into her arms, she swam up. Breaching the surface, she looked down, watching as the baby breathed in the air.
The first breath.
Ronal gazed down at the baby, brows pinched together as she took her in. Confusion was the least she could describe it as.
A moment passed. Ronal mounted her tsurak, and she returned home.
Whispers surrounded her as she walked through the village, eyes following her and landing on the unknown infant in her embrace. In the mere minutes she’d had the baby, she felt an overwhelming sense of maternal instinct towards it. She reasoned she felt that way about most babies, but this was stronger.
She approached her Marui, Tonowari, meeting her at the entrance. He gazed down at her, then the baby, confusion panting his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, stuck in the flurry of words he was trying to put together.
“The Great Mother brought her to me,” Ronal spoke, calm and melodic. “To us.” Tonowari gazed up at her.
Words exchanged between them in complete silence.
He nodded, stepping aside, allowing Ronal to enter the Marui.
The two took to their daughter quickly, entranced by the baby given to them by Eywa. They were lost, confused by her appearance, but they didn’t question it. They simply placed her in the cradle with their other baby, Ao’nung, watching as they turned and curled to hold each other.
“You dreamt of her.” Tonowari’s voice broke the silence.
Ronal, attention on the baby's unwavering, nodded. “Last night, yes.”
He looked to his wife, tentative as he examined her facial expression. “And the others?” He questioned.
There was a moment of silence, Ronal’s hand coming to rest on the edge of the cradle.
“I do not care. She is my daughter. She is ours now.”
Tonowari stared at his wife before nodding, reaching down to cup his daughter's face in his hand. “And what is our daughter's name?” He spoke, already transfixed by the infant lying in the cradle he crafted by hand.
Ronal tilted her head, watching the girl. After a moment, she gazed to Tonowar, their eyes meeting as a soft smile graced her lips.
“Syuli”
After your death, Jake’s loyalty to the RDA wavered. Grace had accepted her fate as a trapped scientist long ago, but Jake refused. He bonded with Neytiri and Tsu’tey quicker, earning the faith of the clan before he finished his Iknimaya.
He saw it in black and white. The humans left you alone and to die, the Na’vi loved you as their own and wept at your death. His decision was clear-cut.
Still, his fast actions weren’t enough to prevent the events that led to Neytiri’s belief of his betrayal. Or the destruction of the home tree. Or the death of those he fought by.
By the end of the war, your death was followed by many others. Black stains on Jake’s heart. He mourned you, grieved for you. The devastation of the war was hard enough, but you? You weren’t even a casualty; you were a victim of the most unfortunate of circumstances. He replayed it in his head over and over again, each time wondering what he could have done to save you, to prevent your death.
It drove him to the worst of his depths. A side of himself he hadn’t even seen when his brother died.
The only thing keeping him afloat was Neytiri and the child that lay in her womb.
“She is with Grace now, my Jake, with the Great Mother.” Neytiri would say, burying her grief. Twice, she's lost you now. When Sylwanin died and her parents shut down their connections with the humans, she wept for not only her sister but for you. Would she never see you again? At least back then, she found comfort in the fact that you were safe and in Grace’s care.
Perhaps you still were, in her arms, just as you are in the Great Mothers. But you’re not in hers. That’s what hurt. How you’d never grow up, forever stuck as the small child she knew and loved.
Time passed, and she had Neteyam. Her sweet baby boy. She felt the cracks in her heart start to be stitched back together, only further healed when they took in Kiri.
She saw it in Jake, too, how he took to his fatherly role immediately, perhaps better prepared after his time with you. Slowly but surely, they came to be okay again.
Still, you burned in their hearts. As she wove her songcord, she pulled one of the beads from the bracelet you made her, as carefully as she could, and wove it in.
A‘eveng, Y/n, ohe oamum
Wamintxu fi oe, a syawn
a’atanur oe mameyam
meyam ohe ngenga, tsalsungay pehrr lom
A child, Y/n, i knew
showed to me, a blessing
a light I held in my arms
I hold you, even when gone
It was hard to speak about you to the kids. They didn’t want to introduce the idea of someone dying at such a young age. They also still grieved you, struggling to accept your death. It wasn’t fair. You should be with them, growing up alongside their children. You would have been such a good big sister.
This hit Jake especially hard, knowing how you’d been excited to have another kid on base; Spider. You raved to him about how you were going to bring him to the lab all the time, what toys you’d give him, and how you wanted to teach him Na’vi and have him as a little brother. At least, the closest you could have to one.
So it was hard watching Spider do all that, grow up and learn Na’vi, come into his family and be seen by his kids as a fellow sibling, knowing it was everything you wanted.
But years passed, and their family grew, and it grew strong. Their children knew of you in passing, in hushed breaths like how they spoke of Sylwanin and the others they’d loved that left them through such harsh tragedies.
Neytiri and Jake didn’t want the children to wonder what it would have been like to have you in the family. It was already too painful for them to wonder themselves.
Their children grew, their personalities developed, and they came into their own. It was hard not to see you in each of them. Tuk’s curiosity, Lo’ak’s mischief, the softness in Kiri’s eyes, and how Neteyam was so thoughtful with his words. For all its hurt, it also gave them comfort. They’d continue to see you, even when you weren’t with them.
Their grief became something mellow, something they could plant love and strength into.
But then the RDA came back. Like an old scar tearing apart, refusing to heal. Their lives turned upside down, and their healing came to a harsh halt, slowly stepping backwards against the blood and gunfire they stood in.
That eclipse, when the kids were in the hands of the recoms, Jake felt barbed wire wrapping around his throat.
He heard their whines, their yelps of pain, and he almost lost them. He refused to risk it. Not again.
“He had our children. Had them under his knife.” He was scared, begging Neytiri to leave, to find a better place for them. He hadn’t been able to find one for you. He wouldn’t let that happen again. “Look, I got nothing… I've got no plan. But I can protect this family. That I can do.”
Neytiri heard the unsaid, seeing what he saw when he spoke.
“But I do know one thing, wherever we go, this family is our fortress.” It was unintentional, his hands placed delicately on her shoulders, one slipping down, grazing the armband she’d woven with your bracelet in it.
They had to protect their children.
The Travel to the Metkayina was difficult, tiring, laborious, and met with storms that raged against them. But they pushed through. They’ve pushed through worse; they’d do this for their family.
They landed on the beach, drawing the attention of the clan, who gathered around them in confusion and awe. They were nervous, holding themselves close together as they were gawked at and picked on by oncoming clan members.
Jake felt a sense of relief when Tonowari, an honorable man and the clan's Olo’eyktan, arrived at the scene, greeting them warmly and with a smile. He felt confident, with Tonowari on their side, he believed he could get past the wall Ronal would inevitably put up.
As the crowd parted, he prepared himself, but he felt all the breath be taken out of his lungs.
Ronal stalked closer, her imposing demeanor, but that wasn’t what shocked him. Behind her, following at her heels, was a young girl. Teal skin with swirling stripes.
She resembled you.
He couldn’t place it; the girl was Metkayina, in every way. But something about her face, the way her expression was set in it, how she carried herself. The air around her, the look in her eyes. All of it set off bells in his chest, ringing and clanging against the grief that settled there. The grief for you.
She stood behind Ronal, tilting her head exactly the way you did when you were curious about something.
Neytiri had seen it hundreds of times, holding you in her lap at the schoolhouse. She let out a breath. Jake glanced at her, millions of words passing between them.
She saw it too.
Jake took a moment to collect himself, pulling back from the shock he’d experienced but couldn’t explain. He went on with his prepared speech. He was seeking Uturu; sanctuary, safety for his family.
His veins were buzzing. He didn’t want to be turned away, to force his children to retreat in defeat, praying they’d find another clan willing to listen and take them in. He felt helpless.
Ronal, skeptical, circled the family. She pulled at their tails, remarking how inefficient they’d be in the water, in their way of life.
She approached Kiri, taking her hands in hers. A scowl crossed her face. Four fingers. Kiri held her breath, self-conscious of her extra finger, a tell-tale sign of their human descent. Demon descent.
Ronal gazed down, tilting her head.
She looked up to her daughter, the one who’d arrived with her. She watched her for a moment, the dreams she saw all those years ago flooding her mind. Something she’d never speak aloud.
She dropped Kiri’s hands, walking past the children and Jake Sully. “You are ill fit to live here.”
“We can adapt. We can learn.” He pleaded, desperate to convince them to let his family stay. Desperate to appease the leaders of the clan.
“I’m done with war.” He spoke to Tonowari, quiet and between them. “I just want to keep my family safe.”
Ronal watched him, not convinced by his words. Behind her, her daughter stepped forward, placing her hand on her mother's shoulder.
“Sa’nu.” The words escaped her lips, and Jake breathed in. He saw you, sitting in Grace’s lap in the lab, running up to her excitedly, lying at the spirit tree, dying.
Ronal looked at her daughter, words exchanged between their gazes, she turned to her mate, being met with the same sentiment. A moment passed, and she nodded.
“Jake Sully and his family will stay with us.” Tonowari announced, explaining to the clan their duty to teach them their ways of life.
Jake sighed in relief, bringing forth a ‘thank you’ from his family.
“Our children, Syuli, Ao’nung, and Tsireya, will show your children what to do.”
Ao’nung stepped forth, displeased by his father's decision, but silenced.
“Come, we will show you our village!” Tsireya stepped forward, hand in hand with her sister.
You looked to the family that had arrived at your village. You took in their faces.
They felt familiar to you. You couldn’t place it.
Tsireya tugged you along through the village, humming as you made your way across the woven walkways. Neytiri and Jake, though focused on taking in their new home, couldn’t help but watch you. The bounce in your step all too familiar.
It was eerie, and they didn’t understand their attribution of you to the little girl they’d known all those years ago.
You became a constant in their life, always around their kids, peeking into their Marui to offer fruits you’d picked with your mother. You were a sweetheart, thoughtful, and kind to their children.
Your mother stayed skeptical of her allowance of the foreigners into their clan, fueled by your growing night problems.
It had been years since she last caught you sleepwalking. It was a problem when you were a child, roaming around the village in the midst of the night. Many concerned clan members came to her with stories of how you found yourself at the edge of the walkways, staring up into the open sky with a withered look on your face.
You sleep-talked, she discovered after staying up to follow you one night. You spoke garbled sentences, strung together words that didn’t make sense. You spoke in a mix of Na’vi and English.
How you even knew the language? She couldn’t understand.
She prayed nightly, seeking for guidance on how to help her sweet baby girl. Again, she was only met with visions of that human child.
It all came to a head one night when Tsireya woke her up, lip jutting out as she whispered that you’d fallen during your walks. Ronal soothed her daughter, telling her to go back to sleep before leaving to find you.
You were on your knees, hands clasped together as you spoke in broken prayers, eyes glazed over. You were somewhere she didn’t know.
She was tired of it, worried to death, and lost. So, she did the only thing she could think of. She pulled you into the water carefully, holding you as she rode to the Cove of the Ancestors. You came out of your trance, slowly but surely, but still drowsy and out of it.
She was able to coax you to enough consciousness to get you to dive under, connecting with the spirit tree.
She doesn’t know what you saw when you did. All she knows is that you hadn’t sleep-walked, or talked since. She knew you were special. A child she would never truly understand, but she loved and cherished you with everything she had.
She saw the way the animals around you seemed to move in sync with you, how the luminescence at night pulsed with your breath. She didn’t ask for answers. She loved you and she trusted the Great Mother.
But here you were again, standing at the entrance of their Marui, eyes glazed over, staring off into the stars. Ever since they’d let the Sullys stay, you’d been walking and talking in your sleep again.
It wasn’t as intense, thankfully, but it was enough to rouse her or her children from sleep every so often.
They worried for you. They took turns staying up, watching you, easing you back to sleep, careful not to startle you from your trance. During the day, they acted as if nothing was different. They knew you were different, but they loved you nonetheless. You were their daughter, their sister.
Ao’nung picked on you, teasing you and going out of his way to bother you. It was his way of showing his love, he joked. He had his moments. Picking you up in his arms and carrying you across the village to your mother for treatment when you hurt yourself on a spear, ignoring your complaints that it was your hand that was injured, not your legs, you could still walk! He ignored you, carefully setting you down in their Marui, lurking by the door until you were bandaged up and ready to leave.
Tsireya was easier. You got along with your younger sister without any problems, aside from the occasional spat that never went anywhere. You two were two peas in a pod. Inseparable. Hands clasped together, arms wrapped around each other. You were always together. It’s how you thrived.
Ronal and Tonowari, they never gave a second thought to the fact that you weren’t theirs, because you were. From the moment they’d set you down in that cradle, you’d become theirs. Their love for you was strong and unwavering. They called your name out with affection, they weaved you jewelry and clothes with love, they never let you doubt you were loved. They held you as you slept, as you dreamt.
And you dreamt. You dreamt every night. Of faces, of voices, of people you didn’t know, but knew.
By the time you woke up, your dreams were in blurry fragments, unable to be pieced together or made sense of.
Your family didn’t voice their worries to you. They saw how you flourished when interacting with their new clan members.
You were patient with them, guiding them through your way of life like it was the easiest thing to do. You blended in with them, conversing with the children so easily, it was as if you’d been doing it your entire life.
You and your siblings, Rotxo, and the Sully kids became somewhat of a friend group. Always together, at least in fragments. You felt as if your family had expanded.
The Sully kids adored you, especially Kiri. It was something about the way the two of you seemed to understand nature that connected you. And perhaps, your mysterious origins.
You confided in Kiri, and Kiri alone, about your peculiar birth. The whole clan knew, they’d witnessed it firsthand, but the story hadn’t made its way to the Sullys. Perhaps it was because it was accepted, no one thought twice about it, you were Ronal and Tonowari's daughter. No one thought to mention that, by biological means, you weren’t.
You told her how you didn’t know your biological parents. No one did. Abandoned at the Spirit tree, you were taken in by Ronal and Tonowari, raised alongside Tsireya, and essentially as Ao’nung’s twin.
She told you about her mother, a scientist who was beloved by their clan, who died during the first war against the humans. She was born from her Avatar.
Grace.
You spoke her name before Kiri told you.
An odd look passed her face. It wasn't until it dripped from your chin that you realised a tear had slipped down your cheek.
“I-i’m sorry, I'm just-” You strung together words, embarrassed and confused by your unconscious outburst. “It’s hard to speak about my birth.” You blamed it on that. Kiri accepted your words, wrapping her arms around you in an embrace that felt warmer than anything else you’d experienced.
You grew a lot closer to the Sully kids. It was their parents who were odd to be around.
Jake and Neytiri didn’t know what to think of you. You were Ronal and Tonowari’s daughter, Na’vi, born and raised in the reef. Yet when they looked at you, heard your voice, all they could see was that little girl they’d loved.
They were going crazy. That was the only explanation. Driven mad by the destruction of their home and subsequent forced abandonment of it.
They wanted to talk to you. They ached to. But it ached just as much to do so. It wasn’t fair to you, their projections of grief onto you.
You were kind, you spoke for them when they first arrived, and you went out of your way to welcome them. You taught their children and defended them, taking them in as if they were your blood.
But every time they saw you, they were swarmed by a whirlpool of grief and relief.
“She speaks like her.” Neytiri would whisper one night, when all the children were off in the village attending a celebration, Jake lying next to her.
“Yeah.” He’d say, eyes locked on Neytiri’s face, watching as she wandered through her mind. Watching as a tear slipped down her cheek.
For weeks, they watched you, watching every movement and quirk you exhibited. How you spoke, how you moved through the walkways, your sense of humor. The way you scrunched your nose in a certain way when faced with food you didn’t like. It all pointed back.
Back to her.
That girl.
She haunted them.
A ghost following them around. One they thought they’d put to rest over a decade ago.
They had moved on. They grieved her, yes, but they had learned to live without her. Just as they did with every person they lost.
But she was back.
They thought it was in their heads at first, but the more they saw, the more they became sure.
Her body had disappeared, Neytiri recounted to him, a whisper under her breath as they watched you talk to Neteyam and Tsireya from afar. They’d left her at the tree like Mo’at demanded, abiding by Eywa's wishes. Her body was gone far too quickly to have been natural decomposition, and no creature would dare feast on a body wrapped in Eywa’s arms like she was.
They didn’t question it, too wrapped up in their grief to try and breach the topic. They simply accepted it. Eywa wanted her. She was with Grace, they believed.
But she wasn’t.
She was in the reef, living amongst the people, living.
They saw you, and they saw her. One in the same.
They’d grieved you, and now you stood right in front of them, out of their reach.
It tore them apart. They must have been going insane because you were not that girl they knew, you were not the girl they loved and doted on. But you were.
You couldn’t be.
But they watched and they watched and they saw. They saw her.
“It’s not her.” Jake’s voice was steel. Laced with a hardened grief.
“I know what I saw, you know what you see.” Neytiri defended, unsure of how to explain it.
He shook his head, pacing back and forth in the Marui, sliding a hand down his face.
“She’s a Metkayina! She’s Ronal and Tonowai’s daughter! That's it.” He spoke so certainly, as if he were trying to convince himself.
The two breathed heavily, working through their mind and hearts to get their words. Logic wasn’t making sense, but they tried to cling to it, both of them in different ways.
“Ronal didn’t give birth to her, nor did Tonowair father her.” Neytiris' words were heavy, like steel and stone. “A gift from Eywa, Ronal calls her.”
Their eyes met.
At this point, they were haunted less by you and more by the fact that you were back. It wasn’t easy mourning someone, learning to accept their death after having grown to love them so fiercely, to learn how to live without them. All of that, only for them to appear again.
All those walls they’d built, all the strength they’d planted in their grief, it was crumbling, the base of it all blowing away like sand in the wind.
It almost hurt more than the grief itself.
They simmered in it for weeks, speaking through glances and hushed whispers.
It was quiet that day. Jake was making his rounds through the village when he heard it. The humming. Not just the humming but the tune.
Slowly, he rounded the corner, peaking around the Marui, eyes landing on you sitting on the edge of the walkway, legs dangling from an opening. You sat there, beading an arm piece as you hummed.
You hummed the lullaby Jake had used to sing that girl to sleep. The lullaby from Earth.
He felt his chest crack open. He wanted to say something, to reach out and speak to you-
“Sempu!” You called out, spotting Tonowari walk up from another direction. Wordlessly, you held up your work for him, a smile spreading across your face as he approached and knelt down.
“Ah, this is great work, my little ‘itetsyip.” He leaned in, hand reaching up to pull it closer to examine it. He grinned, nodding towards you. “You are an exceptional crafter.”
Jake watched the scene, brows furrowing, a weight resting in his chest.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, bah! You and Mother praise me far too much.”
Tonowair simply chuckled, his hand moving to cradle your cheek as you grinned at him.
“No, we simply see how great you are.”
Jake started to notice more after that. He watched not just you, but your life. How you wandered freely through the village, greeting your clan members eagerly, your cheerfulness returned. You were surrounded by kids your age, all watching you with a mix of adoration and respect. You bonded with your siblings, giggling over inside jokes and banter.
Your parents were doting. They didn’t spoil you; they made sure you were responsible and self-aware, but they loved you, and they showed it. The more he watched, the more Neytiri did too; perhaps she’d been watching the full scene the whole time.
You weren’t alone.
You smiled so widely, and you never had to beg, you never had to work for attention or affection. You were accepted wholeheartedly.
You had everything you wanted here, Neytiri and Jake realized. You had everything they wanted to give you, and you didn’t have any barriers. You weren’t human or parentless. You moved about freely. You weren’t raised to expect to come second, third, or fourth place.
Neytiri and Jake had wanted to give you that life. But they couldn’t. They never could.
The Great Mother didn’t fulfill their desires to be the one to love you; she gave you what you needed. She gave you the opportunity to live.
It was bittersweet. You had the life you wanted. You were loved.
Just not by them.
And that was ok.
They’d lived their lives, they’d found happiness, a family, and they were good.
You’d found what you needed, even if it wasn’t with them.
Hi!Could you write a sad fanfic?For example,the reader is the eldest daughter in the family.Therefore, she's older than Neteyam and responsible for the younger children.Jake raised her as a warrior and is very strict with her,unlike the other children. For example,he treats Kiri with a special tenderness, more than he does his own daughter.This deeply hurts the reader, but she doesn't show it. So,during the war,Jake entrusts her with protecting the younger children,which results in the reader's death.I need to cry because I still haven't recovered from Neteyam's death💔
Built for War
Awwww this idea really made me cry😭. I hope it doesn't make you cry (actually it does, so I'm not the only one who had to cry)
Have fun reading ✨
Masterlist
You were his first child, the one who came before the others softened him, before he learned how to kneel when someone cried instead of telling them to stand.
Jake Sully did not know how to be a father when you were born, he only knew how to be a soldier, so that is what he made of you.
From the time you could walk steadily, he placed a bow in your hands. From the time you could climb, he told you not to look down. When you fell, he did not rush forward in panic like other fathers might have, he stood back, arms crossed, watching with sharp eyes that measured strength instead of fear.
“Get up,” he would say, and you always did. You learned quickly that praise from him did not come in soft smiles or warm embraces. It came in nods. In fewer corrections. In silence that meant you had done well enough.
Then Neteyam was born, and something shifted not in you, but in him. He was still strict, still commanding, but with Neteyam there was pride that felt warm instead of heavy.
When Neteyam succeeded, Jake’s voice carried approval. When he failed, Jake corrected him, yes, but with a hand on his shoulder and a steady reminder that he would do better next time.
With you, it was always expectation. “You are the oldest.” “You set the example.” “You don’t get to make mistakes like that.”
Lo’ak came next, and Jake’s frustration with him felt different too louder, but almost… forgiving. Lo’ak was reckless, and Jake scolded him for it, yet there was something in his tone that said he understood that recklessness, because it mirrored his own.
Kiri was treated with a tenderness that carved something quiet and painful inside your ribs. When she asked questions about Eywa, Jake crouched to meet her eyes. When she grew overwhelmed, he softened, voice low, patient in a way you could not remember him ever being with you.
And Tuk sweet, small Tuk wrapped around his finger so easily that sometimes you wondered if you had imagined the version of him that once lifted you into the air without worry about how strong you would become.
But you never complained. Because you were the firstborn.
You were the one who braided Tuk’s hair when her hands were too small to do it herself. You were the one who helped Neteyam practice late at night when he thought he was not good enough. You were the one who stood between Lo’ak and Jake when arguments burned too hot. You were the steady one, the reliable one, the one who did not cry when scolded.
Warriors do not cry. Warriors endure.
The night before the final battle, when the sky felt too quiet and the air carried the kind of stillness that comes before something terrible, Jake called you aside.
He did not ask if you were afraid. He did not tell you to stay safe. He simply looked at you with that assessing gaze and said, “You’re in charge of the younger ones. Keep them out of the fight unless it’s unavoidable.” There was trust in it. Heavy trust. The kind he had been building into you your entire life.
You straightened instinctively. “Yes, sir.” He placed his hand on your shoulder briefly, firm and grounding, and added, “You’re my strongest.” It was meant as pride, and maybe it was, but it felt like a burden settling more firmly across your back.
The battle was chaos, fire against water, screams swallowed by waves, gunshots splitting the sky. You moved through it the way he had trained you to move calculated, aware, always thinking three steps ahead. You kept Tuk close, directed Lo’ak with sharp gestures, reminded Kiri where to run and when to hide.
You were not thinking about yourself. You never did.
The moment comes in a blur a flash of metal, a split-second alignment of danger and innocence. The shot was meant for Neteyam. You see it in that strange way warriors sometimes do, where time stretches thin and clear. There is no hesitation in you. No weighing of cost.
You shove him aside. Pain tears through you, violent and blinding, and suddenly the world feels distant, as though you are underwater without having entered the sea.
You hit the sand, and it feels warm beneath you, too warm. Voices blur together. Tuk crying. Lo’ak shouting. Kiri praying. Neteyam is at your side first, his hands pressing desperately against the wound as though he can will your body to obey him.
“Stay with me,” he says, and it is almost ironic, because you have said those same words to him more times than you can count. You try to answer, but your voice feels thin. Then Jake is there.
He drops to his knees beside you with a force that shakes the ground, and for the first time in your life, he does not look like a leader or a warrior. He looks like a father. Terrified.
His hands press over yours, trying to stop what cannot be stopped, his voice breaking as he says your name again and again as if repetition alone could anchor you here. “You’re okay,” he insists, but the words tremble. “You’re okay.”
You look at him, and in his eyes you see something you have chased your entire life not expectation, not evaluation, but pure, raw love. “I tried,” you whisper, because that is what you have always done. Tried to be strong enough. Good enough. His face crumples in a way you have never seen.
“I know,” he says, voice shattering. “I know, baby.” The word hits harder than anything else. Baby.
You cannot remember the last time he called you that. You want to tell him you were not angry. You want to tell him you understood why he raised you the way he did. That maybe he had been trying to prepare you for a world that would not be gentle.
But the world grows dim around the edges. You feel your siblings close, their hands clutching at you as though they can keep you tethered through sheer will. Jake presses his forehead to yours, and his shoulders shake as he whispers apologies you can barely hear.
You protected them. You fulfilled the role he carved into you. And as the light fades, you realize that the only thing you ever truly wanted was this to be held like you were something fragile instead of forged.
After you are gone, the silence in the family feels unnatural, like something essential has been pulled from its center. Jake no longer speaks as sharply. He no longer demands perfection. He holds Tuk longer. He listens to Lo’ak without immediate correction. He answers Kiri’s questions with patience he once reserved only for her.
And sometimes, late at night, he sits alone with your bow resting across his lap, staring at the worn grip where your fingers once held tight, and he whispers into the quiet,
“I should have protected you.” But you were the firstborn.
