#avescallaghan

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

"Breathe, Bucky." Avery said as the grip on her hand tightened. "I know it hurts. I'm sorry, but it'll be over soon." ((Hehe. Sorry. I just wanna get in on this))

This sucks. This sucks, this sucks, this sucks. The first time the Avengers and X-Men work together due to other Avengers being on different missions Bucky gets hurt. It was all going so well, until he received a nice knife to the shoulder.

His left shoulder. Just a couple of inches from the scar.

He soldiered on, though. He was trained to deal with pain. It was as if he was doing a Hydra mission; shutting down, blocking out pain, and ensuring the mission was completed. He could feel the Soldier creeping back around the edges of his mind. As soon as they got to the extraction point and his shoulder was being seen to it all came rushing at him and sent him into a full blown panic. He felt that monster in his brain again. The pain he finally acknowledged was searing through him, reminding him of losing that arm so long ago. It was like he was back under Hydra control. He started yelling, his breathing going unsteady as his chest heaved like the air in the room had been sucked out. Avery obviously detected this, hastily moving to Bucky’s side, offering her hand which he immediately accepted, gripping it as his wound was seen to. He screws his eyes shut, taking in a deep breath and holding it for a moment as she talks. 

At least he has a familiar face with him, that helps ground him. Exhaling, he opens his eyes and turns to Avery, giving her a pained smile.

“I’ve had worse.” He states almost breathlessly, trying for a chuckle. 

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

🌃

Send ‘🌃’ or ‘Nightmare’ to wake my muse from a nightmare they would have woken up screaming to otherwise.

Bucky’s eyes snap open as he takes a sharp intake of breath, bolting upright from where he’s laying, eyes darting around as he tries to get a grip of his surroundings. His heart pounds in his chest and his breathing makes it seem like he just ran ten marathons. A moment passes and he finally remembers that he fell asleep on the couch, and after another moment he registers a hand hovering over his shoulder. 

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

"I'll give you credit, Barnes. I guess you ARE listening to me."

“I always listen.” Bucky mumbles as he continues to stare at his phone screen, scrolling through a list someone made of the weirdest looking fish. He saves one of the pictures and swiftly sends it to Sam with the caption ‘one of your selfies got leaked’. The fish immediately after he turns to show Avery, baffled by how ugly the damn thing is. “How is this real?” 

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

"You take such joy in pretending you're okay, Buck. It breaks my heart to see you like this."

Bucky ponders over whether to be honest as he lays on the couch, arm hanging over the side as his fingers brush over the carpet as he stares blankly at the television screen. He turns his head towards Avery, giving the most authentic smile he can muster in that moment. 

“I’m fine, honestly. I get told I need to relax more, so here I am. You worry too much.” 

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

Her eyes narrowed into slits. ❝ Is that a threat?❞ 

“Yep.” Bucky replied, popping the ‘p’ as he shot a far too innocent smile Avery’s way. “Touch my doughnuts and I will steal your oreos.”

[sergeant-unlucky-bucky-blog]

For the 3 fears thing. 1- that Steve finding you was just a dream, something your mind cooked up while you're in cryo and you're still under hydra. 2- hurting people when you have one of your episodes. 3- being unredeemable and alone for the rest if your long life.

Every single one of those terrifies me to no end.

The one I’m least fearful of out of the three would have to be being unredeemable. A small part of me has accepted that after everything I did I may never get redemption. Hell, I may not even deserve to be redeemed at all. I could deal with that and being alone. It’d probably be best for everyone. 

Middle would have to be hurting someone during an episode. The times where I get flashbacks and I can’t differentiate what was from what is. Already I’ve given Steve a black eye during an episode. If I were to hurt someone worse than that or even severely wound them, I could never forgive myself. I’ve caused enough pain already, I couldn’t deal with causing anymore.

By far my worst fear would be finding out none of this was real. Being found by Steve, freed from Hydra’s control, and finally living my life the way I want to. If none of that is real, I…I couldn’t live with it. I can’t deal with being stuck in cryo. I can’t go back to Hydra. I can’t.

[beatsbyzach]

Avery was in the library, looking for a book for her English paper when she saw him. The boy was at a table, hunched over a book, head in his arms, softly talking in his sleep. She was curious. Why was he there, sleeping during free period? However, before she could answer herself, the boy suddenly jerked awake, panting like he just ran a marathon. His eyes were wild and scared before they land on her. Slowly, she approached him and asked. "Are you alright? You're looking a little pale."

avescallaghan

Zach really did try to write his history paper for the third time, but getting back into his schoolwork after the incident at Jurassic World was proving to be quite difficult. He had fallen asleep at the table in the library, only to be greeted with a nightmare. He was completely zoned out until the girl speaking before him said he looked pale. 

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”