Well, hello. I was 21 the last time you read something from me, here I am now 23 finally posting something. Not sure what brought you here but welcome. Maybe, just maybe I will continue to write and not let my fear of what others will think of my writing stop me from posting. Are blogs even cool anymore?? Either way, I am diving in whether people are offended, bothered my inability to spell check or bother to fix my grammar, or whether people will make it to the end. Within the next couple weeks… I want to write about my journey as AVSTW, my journey of being against the world, for the world, and versus the world. A username that brings confusion to a lot of people in my life. Specifically within the last month. A common question of, “what does AVSTW mean?”
Well, my first response is “oh, uhm, it stands for amanda versus the world, it was a username I made back in high school” but what do I say from there?
Well, let’s break it down. Amanda. That’s me, when I created it I was 15? Maybe 16? I was full of adventure and the travel bug. A girl full of hopes and dreams but also full of sadness from the brokeness in my life but eyes wide for the future. I was hopeful that the future would be better. I wanted to fall in love. I wanted to be married by 22, I wanted kids by 25. I wanted to live the best life I could live on my own with my friends by my side along the way.
The creation of AVSTW was my the peek of my teen-angst self. I probably had my user name AATW (amanda and the world) for maybe 24 hours, but amanda then felt like the world was working against her, she felt like everything in the world was falling on her that the world did not want her to win. Amanda then did not want to be defined as a failure or broken, so she wanted to show her journey against it, wanting to live a life full of adventure alas AVSTW was born.
Little did teenage Amanda know where a social media app, a username, and the plans that lied ahead for her was going. That life would take a complete 180, that she would learn really quickly that she can’t face life on my own or even try to take control of her own life.
So when did I find that out? You’ll have to wait and see. Buckle up, you’re in for a ride. Until next time. x
