Monday August 10, 2020
4:05am
You know what I’m realizing? We’re all living under some standards or should I say we all live and uphold each other to personas or expectations that don’t even exist. See, the real truth is we’ve been told another lie, and that lie is happiness. I’m not saying people shouldn’t be happy. But what I am saying is, happiness doesn’t rely on focusing on happiness, if that makes any sense at all. We were told that if you focus on happiness, focus on the positive things and life will be much better. To a certain degree I believe and experienced that. However that doesn’t bring happiness, and ultimately that’s not what people want. What people ultimately want today is truth. The trust issues are terrible EVERYWHERE! So, we seek happiness hoping the truth is revealed to us. I think the real focus should be on truth, actually. People want truth. But! Only happy truths. See the game nowadays is to get rid of all your negative truths. Or go seek help with the truths you’re uncomfortable with. And the truths we’re uncomfortable with, we call that negativity. So my thing is, we all want honesty, but at times we’re not truly honest with ourselves. We hide, banish, or try to manage certain parts of ourselves only to be blindsided by the very thing we always try to bury. We indulge in all types of self care activity and rituals. We do whatever we need to do just to get through, emotionally, mentally, and physically. And yet, a lot of us still suffer. Some will admit this, others won’t. My question is and it’s always been, What the fuck are we doing here?? We carry along every day yearning for unlimited desires and fantasies. The desires that make sense to society, we go after and manifest them into reality and we expect others to do the same. There’s a lot of suffering going on, but expectation is at an all time high. We put on these I’m successful, I’m happy, focusing on me, I’m taking care of me and mine etc, and get we all still suffer. It might hit some harder than others. It might even hit people more than others, but we all suffer. Right? Because everyone has a story. And everyone’s been through some shit. What is it that we want? Where do we get it from? Who do we get it from? What the fuck is the purpose here? Money, yeah but no there’s more. Wealth? Yeah. But there’s more. Marriage, Children, career travel, leisure. Absolutely, but there’s more! All these things bring temporary happiness, there’s suffering in all these things. Now don’t get me wrong I’m very aware of duality. Every last one of these things provide a level of growth that allows us to contribute to our happiness. But at some point so many people are going to counseling for these exact things. There’s suffering in all of it. Our reason, love, self preservation etc. I think we need to flip the script. Fuck the happiness fantasy. Yes, throughout life we’re going to be quite happy, but that’s in waves too! The focus should be on truth, and suffering. Understanding, and acknowledging truth whether that brings us happiness or not. Getting comfortable with truth that make us uncomfortable. And learning how to manage and cope with suffering.....I’ll come back to this. I like where it’s going but I gotta sit and think on this some more.