Okay so there's something that's been bothering me and I gotta clear it up for some people.
The lovely phrase "not all men are (insert some kind of assault here)" I keep hearing from guys makes my blood boil so if u're a person that thinks like this, let me explain:
I am aware that not all men are r/pists etc. In the same way I'm aware that not all strangers I see at night in a dark alley are murderers.
There's always a possibility that a strange man (or ever someone u know since most assaults are committed by people we know) is gonna assault us.
Unless I trust someone 100% I'll always stay slightly on guard, I'll always have these thoughts in my head because if I tell myself not all men are like that, I'm putting my defenses down, I'm being an easy target and I'm risking something horrible happening to me.
Sure the guy standing at a bus stop with me all alone might be a nice guy but he also might be not - I don't know that, there's always a possibility and that's enough of a reason to be afraid, to be on guard.
In my 5 people friend group, 2 have been sexualy assaulted, the rest including me - sexualy harassed at some point in time. There's a person who did something horrible to one of my friends in my school and he's most probably not the only way.
And I don't hate men, Im just slower to trust them, more protective of myself because of the possibilities. And yes if u're a man it's not Ur fault that other men assault women - but it's not an excuse, if u want to be trusted show that u can be trusted, help, don't hide ur friends when u know they assaulted someone just cuz they're ur buddy.
I remember going to primary school, being a little kid and checking on the internet what to do to avoid being sexualy assaulted cuz I was scared to go home/to school on foot everyday alone. If a little kid has to do this I think we can all agree that there's something wrong in the world.
And yes women can be r/apists too, ofc they can, but when I'm at a bus stop with a guy and a girl alone I'll stay closer to her, I'll feel safer because there's empathy there, there's this understanding of a problem many men can't even see.
Now - when I bought myself paper spray i Saw in the reviews that most of the buyers were men buying it for their sister/partner/friend which was quite heartwarming and if u have someone u worry about, a sister, a partner etc. Talking to them about self defense is always a good idea and so is explaining to Ur younger siblings the problems I've talked about so far. Tell Ur small siblings how to protect themselves, what red flags to look for - the assaults that happened in my friend group all besides one happened when we were kids (around 11 or younger).
If u want to defend urself, buying a pepper spray is the best way in my opinion (if it's illegal in Ur country I'll talk about some other things in a sec).
If u want to buy one get it from a military website, not some cheap store. It may be a bit more expensive (they're not that expensive at least in my country), u don't need a huge one, just get something that can fit in Ur pocket, something u can grip tightly and that's easy to use. Mine is pink and looks like a big lipstick which helps as well. It's worth to spend some money to protect urself, u never know if u may need it.
Now for people who can't get these legally - my friend from Canada used a bear spray as a self defense item. There are very cheap spike sticks u can buy (if ur parents are against u getting a self defense item, maybe u'll be able to get away with saying that it's a Keychain since they're sold in that form too). Just type "self defense spike stick" in Google and u should get it easily. It's better than nothing - u can also keep ur keys in Ur pocket and hold them so if anyone attacks u u'll be ready to protect yourself. (if any of u knows some other ways of self defense please reblog and explain them :))
If u have any doubts or questions u can message me anytime, I'm open to discussion, please stay safe and keep people around you safe as well, take care <3
[please reblog cuz it's something that needs to be heard, thank you]
