#awkward villain

[somekindofneurodivergency]

I just had a vision and I need to share

A villian, an evil overlord that has built himself the reputation of being this suave and mysterious face... When in reality he's just. The most awkward person in the history of awkwardness. He practices his speeches for hours and every other hero and civilian buys it.

But not his henchmen, they know better.

The first time meeting the Hero face to face, he practices what he'll say for DAYS. Cut to the day it happens, the Hero interrupted him Once, he went quiet for 10 full seconds and walked out the room. An hour later he lets the Hero go like "yeah okay see you next Tuesday... I guess..."

This event upsets him so badly he doesn't try any of his evil plans for a month.

"C'mon, my lord!! I'm sure it'll go right this time!!"

"I've already told you, Gustavo, I need a little moment to recover..."

Everyone in the city is worried, what's taking this guy so long? Is he Finally going to nuke the whole country away? CAN HE DO THAT?

Then the Hero disappears (gets kidnapped) and the city turns to chaos.

(meanwhile, in the Overlord's Lair)

"Listen here, chico! When my Lord gives speeches—"

"WHERE AM I WHO ARE YOU"

"SEE! THAT'S the problem. Did your mami never taught you not to interrupt people??"

Gustavo has a little chat with the Hero.

"When my Lord is giving a speech, you should...?"

"... Wait until he's done...."

"Very nice."

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

Top 3 people on Dr. Conquest's list of people to destroy:

3. Police Officers

2. Super Heroes

People who call his mother a MILF within his earshot.

[nuttynutcycle]

Prompt 250

The villain began to sweat. Come on, polite conversation is easy! Just don't think about how cute they are. "So... what do you do for a living?"

The hero stared. "This." They gestured to their cape. "I do this for a living."

"Me too!" The villain exclaimed, ecstatic that they both wore capes. Finally, something in common.

"You're a hero too?"

The blood drained from the villain's face. They casually kicked the pile of stolen money off to the side. "...yes."

[chaoticgoodandu]

#11 “Probably Hero”

Villain looked around slowly and strolled into the park. Under a tree, not too far away sat “Probably Hero”.

“Probably Hero”, as Villain’s Henchman so affectionately nicknamed them, was a civilian that Villain was convinced was Hero. They had been following them around for a week trying to confirm their hunch. They justified their somewhat stalkery habit by telling themselves that knowing who Hero was would give them an advantage, but there was a little bit more to it.

Villain wished they could say for sure that “Probably Hero” was Hero. They looked similar enough, but Villain had had to guesstimate what Hero looked like because their mask covered some of their face. Villain reallly wanted this person to be Hero. They wanted to know who Hero was, what they liked, and how they spent their days off.

Something was off though, “Probably Hero” never behaved as expected. Villain prided themselves on how well they knew their hero, their mannerisms, and their voice, and “Probably Hero” was close but never exactly there. The same applied to their eyes, Villain had Hero’s eyes memorized and they couldn’t confirm that “Probably Hero”s eyes were the same. They lacked the depth and mystery that Villain had expected.

Out of the corner of their eye, Villain saw someone walk up to “Probably Hero” and sit down with a bag of fast food. The person looked similar to “Probably Hero”, very similar... There was definitely a close family resemblance between the two. Villain scanned their memory and recalled that “Probably Hero”s records showed they had a few siblings. Villain had been able to research all but one of the siblings, that ones file had been missing from city hall and no information besides a birth certificate was accessible.

Villain told themselves not to get excited as they came to the realization that this sibling was probably the actual Hero. But they needed to be certain, their eyes would be the best way to tell. The eyes that Villain caught between punches, the eyes they gazed into as they monologued, the eyes that were close to what “Probably Hero” had, but so much better.

Villain picked a flower off the plant they stood near and walked over to the two siblings. They both turned to look at them and Villain caught Hero’s eyes. They were a deep brown color with hazel specks swimming like stars in their irises. It was Hero. There was no question in Villain’s mind that their Hero was sitting in front of them.

“Do... Do either of you have the time?” Villain swallowed, their heart was beating fast. They had wanted to sound cool and suave, but their mind had gone blank after staring into Hero’s big brown eyes.

“It’s 4:30” Hero looked back up at them and smiled as they answered.

“Thanks, have a good one.” Villain turned around and awkwardly walked out of the park.

Villain looked down at the flower they still clutched in their hand and cringed. They should have used some clever pick up line on Hero, given them the flower, and then sauntered off with a air of mystery. When dressed as their villain identity they were eloquent and smooth, so how come they had been so nervous? It’s fine they told themselves, first impressions weren’t everything and they’d see them again. Next time they’d do better.

Not a prompt

[hotchocolatewriting]

Nightmare

The explosion was unexpected, but villain managed to cover theirselves in time. Glass was flying through the building, but villain didn't get hit.

They heard a scream of pain. 'Hero!' They ran and found hero laying on the ground. They were bleeding all over their body. Glass everywhere in their skin. Villain crouched down besides hero.

'Hero! You alright?' The hero wimpered and opened their eye's. Their gaze only showed their pain. The villain wanted to help, but didn't know how. They loved the hero, they would do everything to save them. The hero couldn't bring themselves to speak. Their eye's rolled up into their head and back.

'Please, hero, stay with me!' Villain wanted to cry, to scream. The hero gave them an angry look and then there was only an empty stare. They didn't do anything, they didn't move, they didn't breathe...

Villain woke up, covered in sweat. Tears rolling down their face. They wanted to scream, but they could only stare at the door of their room. They needed to see hero, right now. They needed to know if they were ok.

Villain looked at the clock, 3 Am. Hero was already in their home. The villain had captured them a week ago, because the hero kept fighting and villain didn't want to hurt them anymore.

The villain stept out of their bed. They wiped the sweat from their forehead and walked downstairs to find the hero asleep on the blanket in their cell.

The villain sat down on the ground and looked at the hero. They were save, they were here, just asleep, not dead. The villain could finally relax again.

They looked at the hero for more than a hour. After a while they got tired again and tried to sleep against the hero's cell.

The hero turned around to see te villain sleeping against the other side of their cell. They were shivering from te cold. But despite that the villain had captured them, they were still good. They put their blanket through their cell and laid it over the villain. They woke up and saw the hero.

'What are you doing? That's your blanket, you need it. It's cold.' The Villain sat up and gave the blanket back. Still really sleepy.

'What are you doing here?' The hero asked. 'I had a nightmare about you. You died, so I wanted to make sure you were OK.' The Villain murmered half asleep. 'Why?' 'Because I love you.' Villain now woke up, realising what they just said.

'I..I didn't..' the villain stumbled. '..May I lay beside you?' The hero looked suprised. 'Here? On the ground?' The Villain nodded. And opened the door. The hero laid down on the blanket again and villain did the same, laying against them.

They both tried to sleep, but they couldn't. It was to cold.

'Do..do you want to sleep in my bed?' The Villain asked. 'We can even take a shower to warm up again.' 'We?' The hero asked. 'Sorry, to soon. Just sleep with me.. Please.'

The villain was already in their bed when the hero came back from the shower. Their hair still wet as they laid down besides the villain.

'It's strange.' The hero said, the villain turned around to look them in the eye. 'What do you mean?' They asked. 'A few moments ago, I was laying in your cell and now we are sharing a bed together.' The Villain smiled. 'Life can be strange, sweetheart.' 'Don't call me that.' The only thing the villain could do was smile, it was like a dream that came true.

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

So Dr C, did you pick the name Conquest or was that forced upon you when you had to signed as a villain?

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

I love these “it’s awkward being a villain around my mom” comics! They give off a lot of venture bros vibes from at the office casual attitude they have in villain work like how the guild of calamitous intent treats villainy.

It's been a long while since I've watched Venture Bros (still need to finish the last season and the movie but I should probably just rewatch all of it). The concept of hero/villain organizations being chill and being mundane is funny and has a lot of potential for comedy, especially when it comes to the lower levels of heroes/villainy.

With the awkward villain series I wanna focus on Dr Conquest's plans for world domination and how it's different from other egomaniacal villains with the same plan, his relationship with his mom and her normal life amongst the wild world of villains, Dr Conquest and his relationship with both other villains who want to do good but are labeled villains and villains who are actually evil, and finally Dynafusion's obsession with taking down Dr Conquest and other villains like him.

[nuttynutcycle]

Hi nut! I hope you are doing well and staying hydrated! I was wondering if you wanted to do a prompt or something about a suave villain who is really good friends with an awkward hero? (You could also switch the roles of hero and villain if you want) If not, that’s alright! Also, your writing is the best, just in case you didn’t already know 😁

Anything for kactus. Thanks for waiting so patiently!

"It's simple. Just go up and tell her she looks cute. Then ask her out." The villain slung a casual arm around the hero. "It's easy!"

"For you, maybe." The hero's ears turned red at the mere thought. "I can't get through a single sentence without stuttering."

"But... you like her though?"

"...yeah."

"Fine." The villain's face shifted, the features merging and folding until the hero was staring at a carbon copy of themselves. They started marching across the room to the horror of the hero. "I'll ask her out for you."

-----

"Stop right there!"

The group of villains turned around to stare at the caped crusader.

"Your days of evildoing are over, you - you evildoers! By the time I'm, finished, you'll never do evil again-"

"Pause." One of the villains interrupted, a hand rubbing their face. "This is too painful. Sorry guys," they said to the rest of the villains. "You can keep going."

The hero frowned at the retreating villains' backs. "But..."

"Dude," the remaining villain sighed, "That was so bad."

-----

He could do this. He should be able to do this. The reformed villain stared down at the unfamiliar logo on his chest and grit his teeth at the thought of facing the cameras again, at the thought of giving a speech about his most recent victory.

"It gets easier." A soft voice interrupted his thoughts. "The first time is always the hardest."

"Easy for you to say," the villain responded bitterly, still gazing at the logo. "The press loves you."

"They don't matter. Your friends do, and we're with you all the way. And we've got a head start on this hero business. As many times as you screw up, I can guarantee that one of us has done it before."