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New Year's Questions: 11, 20, 22 :D Happy New Year (soon to be its only 9:30 on the east coast)
Hey friend 🥰🥰 Happy New Year!
11 - Something you want to do again next year?
Read a lot. I read so much this year (90 books to be exact... I'm very proud of myself lol) and I knocked A LOT of books off my TBR... Unfortunately they keep making new books so it's not actually getting any shorter. Go figure.
And I already answered 20 and 22 😅
Brothers Fight
Booker cleared his throat and Joe’s attention was abruptly shifted back to his former friend. He felt an ache grow in his chest.
What absolutely lucky and ungrateful bastard Joe had been. To have been gifted a soulmate in Nicky and a brother in Booker and to not realize what he had.
He had wanted for nothing in his long life, not truly. He had lacked nothing. Family, friendship, safety, love. All of it wrapped up in this group. But he had not realized the space that Booker had filled in his heart until he was gone. When they first found Booker, it had taken Nicky all of two years to start making jokes about Joe having two soulmates. And as much as Joe bristled at the implication, no matter how joking it was, that anyone could replace Nicky, Joe knew what he meant.
Booker and Joe just got each other. Of course Booker got along with Andy, and though it was less obvious, with Nicky too. But Joe and Booker, they were brothers.
They made each other laugh, and enjoyed watching sports. They shared a distaste for modern music and enjoyed hiking and running together.
They had slightly shorter tempers than Andy and Nicky had. And just as often as not the two of them could be found arguing about some trivial thing or another.
Joe never yelled at Nicky, and he hardly yelled at Andy, but fuck if he didn’t have his fair share of screaming matches with Booker over the years.
Despite that though, or perhaps because of it, Booker was his best friend.
Joe knew he had taken Booker’s betrayal harder than anyone else. He’d talked about it at length with Nicky. Even though Joe hated talking about Booker now. He hated thinking about him too. It hurt too much.
Still, he couldn’t hide this, not from Nicky. His heart knew him too well.
Brothers Fight
I'm always shocked that this is my second most popular fic, by kudos at least. Mostly because it's one of the earliest things I wrote for the fandom, so idk how it got legs (probably from Share Your Address if I'm honest lol)
Bouncing off the last commentary I posted. I am ENDLESSLY fascinated by Booker in the comics and in the first movie. (too bad we never got a sequel, right? ha...)
I know he's not a favorite character in the fandom, but what can I say, I love me a fucked up fictional man.
I also really loved Booker and Joe's dynamic through the whole movie (and the comics)
I wrote a reunion for them that was pretty fraught, and doesn't fit with any of the cannon. Not even the comics. And Force Multiplied was already out, so we knew how they reunited in that... I wanted something angstier!!!
But I also wanted something that provided them a path forward. I think I achieved that here?
I saw in their interactions in the movie a fierce love and fierce betrayal. Joe is fucking pissed at Booker. And I didn't want to cheapen that by letting Booker off the hook too easily. But I also wanted Joe to work through his own hang ups about what Booker did.
I basically imprinted on Joe after I watched the movie and just gave him a lot of my own qualities. (I mean, I think he had a lot of those qualities to begin with, which is probably why I relate to him so much.)
I think I mentioned in the Everything I Did To Get To You commentary I just did that I sometimes put myself in the middle of situations unnecessarily, and therefore have Joe do that too? I feel like kind of did that again here.
The kicker? Here it works. Booker and Joe actually work through their shit, at least a bit, in this fic.
I also like putting characters that are fighting in rooms alone together where they can't escape. I did that here... except the "room" is a series of trains lol.
I spent a lot of time in this fandom thinking about the concept of soulmates (I mean duh) and with that came the idea that they were all soulmates of some kind to each other. So I wanted Joe to acknowledge that deep brotherly connection here.
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Send me a bit of one of my fics, and I'll give you some DVD style commentary on it
Collapsing Walls because book of nile redemption arc is good
“I love you.” Nile whispered. Her heart hurt, and so she hurt.
Booker hummed, deep in his chest, “Yes, that. Talk about that.”
“About my love?” Nile asked.
“Indulge me.”
Nile searched her mind trying to think of how to put into words the feeling she had for the man who was currently suffering with his head in her lap. Their love had been so slow and evolving, she wasn’t even sure when it started. Or when it turned from affection to love. She did know it had taken a long time. Longer than Andy and Quynh or Nicky and Joe had taken for sure.
Thinking back to those early days was bittersweet.
“You were the first person I saw come back to life,” Nile said before she could think better of it. But Booker didn’t respond, so she kept talking. “I had died and come back twice already, but it was another thing to see it. You were also the first person to make me laugh in my new life. In that cave while- well, in the cave.”
Booker sighed, “I don’t want to hear about that man. I hate the person I was back then.”
“I don’t,” Nile said, and she meant it.
Booker scoffed.
“I don’t. You made some bad decisions, you paid the price and changed for the better.”
“You made me better.” Booker said softly.
“You made yourself better Sebastien, you put in the work. We wouldn’t be together if you hadn’t.”
Collapsing Walls
Ok, deep cut!
BOOK OF NILE!!!!! Ok I love Joe/Nicky, I do. Clearly, I've written a fuck ton of fics for them but Booker/Nile.... oh my gosh....
If I remember correctly, this fic came to me in like a single night, fully formed and I banged it out in one go.
I actually have A LOT have unpublished/half written Book of Nile on my computer.... I should polish those up and post them lol
I LOVE a redemption arc.... and not to make this all about The Long Walk lol, but just wait until I get my hands on Barkovitch... oh I'm gonna make that boy suffer work for it, but when he comes out the other side he'll be a shinny new penny <3
ANYWAY. THE OLD GUARD. That's the fandom we're talking about here lol
You know what... I just reread that little snippet.... I already hate the sequel SO MUCH but mostly because it took this possible future away from me.
Even if we take Nile out of the picture for a second, I wanted Booker to get to redeem himself so bad! And while he does give Andy back her immortality, Quynh DOESN'T have hers (right? I haven't rewatched the sequel lol) so she's still gonna lose her!! Sequel!Booker.... oh when I catch you!
Sorry, tangent.
Basically I just like to make this man suffer. He can take it lol.
And that's essentially what I tried to do with this fic.
Jokes aside, I did write this to be about a Booker who was already redeemed and I made sure we knew that. Guilt is funny though, it likes to stick around, for better or for worse.
Ok enough about Booker. NILE!!! Obviously this is a one shot about a romantic paring so of course she does focus on Booker a lot, but I wanted to give Nile some moments to shine as an Immortal who is years (I think like 100?? iirc) into her immortality. I wanted her to get herself out of a situation. but then of course need the help of her found family to fully save Booker.
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Send me a bit of one of my fics, and I'll give you some DVD style commentary on it
Everything i did to get you: Chapter 2 The party blow up with Quyhn
Andy appeared at Nicky’s shoulder just as he was about to go see what was happening- and possibly pull Joe away. Maybe he should have ignored Andy then, but he didn’t because he could see her face drop when she realized the commotion was coming from Quynh. Quynh said something else that Nicky didn’t catch, but Joe’s response made it painfully obvious what they were fighting about.
“At least talk to her, she’s miserable and you won’t even let her know why!”
Once again Nicky was torn between trying to stop whatever the hell was happening with Joe and Quynh and being there for Andy who looked like she was dangerously close to throwing up. Her face had gone pale and she stood with her mouth agape, but Nicky blinked and her face was back to its practiced stoicism. She turned and walked back into the kitchen.
“Because I don’t know why!” Quynh said loudly, her voice quivered. “Not all of us have this perfect relationship Joe-”
“That’s not fair and you know it.” Joe stepped up into her space so that they were toe to toe, his voice still too loud for the small house, “God, it’s like you’re afraid to be happy.”
“Fuck you,” Quynh spat out.
With that Nicky started making his way toward them, there was no way this was going to end well. He wasn’t quick enough though and Quynh kept talking.
“You have this ridiculous sense of romanticism that’s infuriating, and it is so unearned! I know better than anyone the shit you’ve gone through. How can you sit there telling me how to run my life when you made mistake after mistake to get where you are. How can you just know that things won’t get worse? Even now! I love Nicky, I do, but you can’t possibly know that you’ll never get sick of each other. You said you loved Keane too, constantly, so what’s to stop Nicky from doing the exact same things as he did? Just don’t pretend like you’re some expert on relationships because you lucked into an easy one. I don’t need you or Andy or anyone else telling me what I need to do, so just back off!”
Quynh finished and stood facing Joe for a moment, from behind it looked like she was ready to keep yelling at him, but Joe’s expression was one Nicky could only describe as pure shock.
Quynh made an exasperated noise and reeled around to come face to face with Nicky who had finally made it over to them. Her face fell for a moment, and Nicky could see tears forming in her eyes, but she clenched her jaw and pushed past him without saying anything. Joe didn’t wait for her to leave and was already heading for the hallway.
Everything I Did to Get to You
Ok listen, I LOVE Share Your Address.... but this sequel is where my heart truly lies with this series.
Honestly?? This fic was just too happy and I needed to inject some drama into Joe and Nicky's lives without breaking them up lol
Dealing with the dissolution of your friend group SUCKS. I've been through it before and it's no fun.
Plus Quynh and Andy had the drama baked in! Considering what went down in 2 Old 2 Guard I think I pegged them pretty good (ha!)
Joe getting in the middle of it is very.... he's very me in that moment. I hate to see my friends in pain, but I don't always think things through before I say them, especially when I was the age they are in this fic.
Quynh is hurting and confused and honestly I think watching Joe be so happy when her own long term relationship is in shambles hurts her a lot more than she wants to let on. And she feels guilty for that.
Another reason for this scene? I like writing people fighting. Screaming matches are enjoyable to me lol-- fictional ones!
I do plan on writing a full on sequel to SYA at some point. (but If you are desperate from more SYA!verse Joe and Nicky.... one of my other wips "As You Wish" is a backdoor sequel and features this version of Joe and Nicky with their daughter (spoiler for the sequel if I ever get to it lol) way in the future.
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Send me a bit of one of my fics, and I'll give you some DVD style commentary on it
From Share your address- chapter 9
It should have scared him. Logically, he knew he should be apprehensive or feel stifled by his and Nicky’s sudden and complete fall into each other. Hell, he knew he should not want something like this at all, not with his history with Keane being as recent as it was.
Maybe he only thought he should feel that way though. His therapist repeatedly told him that there was no single path to healing. Maybe this could be his? But no- that felt wrong too.
He wanted Nicky -fuck, he wanted him more than anything- but he didn’t need him. Nicky couldn’t heal him any more than Joe could heal Nicky of whatever had happened to him two years before that made him close off from the world. So no, Nicky wasn’t his path to healing, but he sure as hell wanted to have Nicky by his side as he traversed whatever way forward he found. He hoped -and was pretty sure- that Nicky felt the same way.
Joe stopped at the large glass door to Nicky’s building. He checked his phone, which miraculously had not died, though a red 2% was staring back at him. It was 6:58, he had maybe forty five minutes before he needed to leave for his first class, and that wasn’t nearly enough time with Nicky. He didn’t wait for the elevator in the opulent lobby, instead choosing to take the five flights of stairs two steps at a time. He was winded by the time he got to the apartment. He wasn’t sure it really saved him any time, but it felt like it did.
Joe put Nicky’s keys back on the counter and stifled the urge to shout Honey I’m home into the quiet apartment. It was a bad joke, and Joe cringed at himself almost as soon as it entered his mind.
Regardless of joke-efficacy, Joe would have hated to miss the sight of Nicky still sleeping when he walked in the bedroom. He was in almost the exact same position Joe had left him in, laying on his back, except his arm was draped over his eyes.
Joe felt his chest go tight in the same way it had countless times the last few days. He was pretty sure he had a handle on what that feeling meant, but he was entirely unprepared to deal with it. Things were moving fast enough already, and he would have to deal with it eventually, but not right then staring at Nicky sleeping while he could feel sweat dripping down his neck.
SPILL THE BEANS! Because this fic lives rent free in my head (especially the soundtrack you curated and its live in meme in my head )
AHHHHHH Thank you so much for sending me this!!! Share Your Address (shameless promotion, go read it!) truly means the world to me. It is BY FAR my most popular fic I've ever written lol and it's also the thing that really got me back into writing after about 4 years of not writing at all. For that I'll always hold it so so dear.
Ok, so, it's been awhile since I reread this. Joe is coming back from a run right?
We already had Nicky telling Nile he thought he was in love with Joe, in the previous chapter (iirc) and I think it just felt like that right point to have Joe really start to exam his feelings.
What better place to examine those feelings than while on a run?
I gave both boys a lot of baggage in this fic, Nicky with his family, Joe with his shitty ex. I had always planned on exploring Nicky's family in a later fic.... which I still plan on doing... someday lol But this felt like the moment to really start letting Joe work though his hang ups about going out with someone after Keane. He's already told Nicky about all that shit, and as Joe put it the previous night "you didn’t run after last night, which meant a lot."
I think Joe was just getting to the point that he knows he can trust Nicky.
All that to say, while Joe goes on a bit about Nicky not being the thing that would fix him. I do think that *Joe* has gotten to a point where he's worked through his feelings about Keane to actually start something kind of serious with Nicky.
Long post short this is 7 paragraphs of Joe being scared to even THINK the words "I love you" lol
Also, I gave Joe my inability to keep my phone charged. 5 years later, that is still true.
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Send me a bit of one of my fics, and I'll give you some DVD style commentary on it
For wrapped music :D # 11, 13, 55, 89 =^.^=
It's uhhh quite the mix of vibes lol
11. Peer Pressure by Charles the Emperor
13. 10,000 SCARS by Xen0christ
55. The Fennecs Name Is Defiance by Ishtasha
89. Pretty Rave Girl by S3RL
For the Spotify 100 # 11, 13, 56, 89 ^-^
Yay!
11- Nauseous by Conan Gray
13- GOSSIP by Måneskin
56- Everybody Get Dangerous by Weezer
89- Fireproof by One Direction (oh man.... I basically listen to this every time I get sad about Liam...)
soft asks for a cool person. that being said- Soft asks 4, 17, 23, and….. 29 please? Hope you are having a lovely time (its evening for me) where you are.
Thank you! Just got home from work not too long ago and will be studying before too long, but taking a nice quick break in between. I hope you're having a lovely time too!
4. what flower would you like to be given?
Carnations are my favourite flower, but honestly any flower makes me happy ^-^ secret practical answer: cat-safe flowers lol
17. fairy lights or LED lights?
Fairy lights all the way. LEDs are bright and annoying and for some reason my eyes are incapable of focusing on the blue ones when I'm wearing my glasses. Fairy lights though? She and I are best buds
23. favorite piece of clothing?
Ooo this is a hard one. Maybe either my fleece lined flannel pajama pants or the XL flannel my friend gave me when I moved to go to grad school (I wear a S or XS)
29. morning, afternoon or night?
Okay I'm going to cheat on this one and choose both morning and night. Morning is for work and productivity, and for the anticipation of driving to a new hike (and drinking some coffee on the way there). Night is for movies and drinks with friends and getting sucked into a good book while sitting on the couch. So both, but for different reasons
