chapter 4 of my kotlc fedex fic and there would be peace in the garden of eden is up! (essentially the fic is a retelling of the vackers’ grief struggle from exile, if dex happened to knock on everglen’s pearly gates one day and got punched in the face, leading to a complicated and grief driven something to begin between him and fitz.)
this chapter covers the immediate aftermath of the planting and the following 2ish days! originally this was going to be a really really big chapter but it was just too long, so i cut it in half. which means we get an extra few other pov scenes at the end of the main story to fill in some of the stuff that happened in the background!
if any of what i’ve said sounds appealing please check it out!! fic and chapter summary below the cut ❤️
fic summary:
“Here,” Fitz said, reaching into his pocket quickly and pressing something cold and sharp into his hand. “You can have it. If you want.”
Dex looked at his open palm. “What is it?”
“Uh…” Fitz looked terribly embarrassed for some reason. “I mean, since it’s easier… Not that you would need it, but just, if you wanted it.”
That didn’t even come close to answering his question. But it sounded a lot like Fitz wanted him to take it, so he did.
As soon as the word “bye” left his mouth, Fitz had light-leaped away.
It took Dex a couple more minutes to realize that he had fallen asleep at Fitz’s house, and the crystal Fitz had given him was a leaping crystal to Everglen.
Fitz and Biana have been absent from school since the year started, and Sophie hasn't quite been herself. It bothers Dex enough to visit Everglen and see what's really going on, see if maybe there's something he can do to cheer her up. Even if it means putting up with Fitz Wonderboy Vacker—even if it means sticking around after he literally gets punched in the face—even if it means coming to Everglen for hours after school every day to hang out with… Wait, who's he doing this for again?
chapter 4 summary:
From the big, sapphire chandelier and the glowing vanity on the left side of the room, Dex figured this must be Biana’s bedroom. A canopy bed occupied the other side, mirroring Fitz’s layout, except for delicate, wispy curtains on each side that looked like they were sewn from firefly wings. Tall glass windows that Fitz didn’t have covered the wall opposite the entrance door, providing a picturesque view of Della’s garden below.
“Don’t worry,” Biana said with a smile after closing the door behind herself, following Dex’s line of vision to the window. “I don’t spy on you guys out there. Usually.”
He almost felt his face burn, before he remembered there was nothing to be embarrassed about in the garden. It was only in Fitz’s room that… Well, now was no time to be thinking about that.
“It’s not spying. It’s your garden,” Dex responded when he realized he’d been quiet for a little too long. “You can look at it whenever you want.”
Fitz’s behavior after the Planting makes Dex wonder if he’s become overdependent. But instead of talking, Dex brilliantly decides to disappear, because something about talking to Fitz, or even looking at him, feels … difficult, now.
Man, it's such a relief when you have FINALLY identified the one point at which your chapter broke! Took me weeks to get here, but I think I might finally be able to overcome this block.
Once again I have to admit that this one piece of writing advice I read is frustrating and correct in equal measures: if you're really stuck, it's because something is already broken. You feel like you need to just push through the block, but actually you need to go back and find the broken bit...
played around with the idea today of "what if i rewrote ch 1 to my fic stockholm bc it's over 10 years old at this point", and idk if i'll go through with editing the whole fic like i know i want to, but it was at least a fun exercise to work on today. so have that if you fancy
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Porygon-Z expertly buzzed around the forest clearing, dodging every move thrown at zir. Despite being triple-teamed by a group of Team Galactic grunts and their horde of Croagunk, not a single hit managed to land.
“Discharge!”
In one move, we have the field cleared, all the frogs sent back to their trainers who are screaming in agony. It was all too familiar at this point. I had become quite the nuisance to Team Galactic over the last year.
Enough of a nuisance that some of the grunts let it slip that if they managed to take me down, they would get a promotion. All that knowledge did was feed my ego.
Shoving them aside, we continue our march towards Lake Valor, the muddy grass squelching below my boots. Now and again, up in the forest canopy, we hear the distressed call of a water pokémon that had been flung up into the trees by the explosion felt as far away as Canalave.
Porygon-Z has the move Psychic, but without a safe place to put them all, it will have to wait until I can see the damage. From the small glimpse I got of the lake on the back of Staraptor, there might not even be a lake to return them to just yet.
Breaking through the forest’s edge, the sight of the lake —or what used to be a lake— briefly halts me. It’s nothing more than a deep, muddy crater, with a bunch of Magikarp miserably flailing around.
For a brief, horrifying moment, I worry we’re too late.
“I know you! You wanna flop around in the mud with the Magikarp!?”
The challenge of yet another grunt pulls me back into my body, reminding me my mission isn’t over yet.
Porygon-Z zips in front of me, ready to defend against whatever pokémon the grunt dares to send out against us.
A Purugly and Golbat.
Golbat is easily dispensed with Psychic, but Purugly takes a few more hits.
Another grunt comes to their aid, and at this point, I’m over it. They’ve never once played fair, and if you can’t beat them, join them.
I release my Infernape and Garchomp, the sight of the two beasts enough to terrify the grunts. “What are you all up to?” I ask as she sends out a Clefable to backup the Purugly.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she mocks before odering Clefable to use Double-Edge on Infernape.
“Close Combat!”
Clefable might be a defensive pokémon, but running full-speed into Infernape’s charged up fists — instant knockout.
“Dragon Rush!”
Garchomp rushes Purugly, and before either of them have a chance to react, I have Porygon-Z grab them with zir Psychic, bringing them close.
They squirm in zir grasp, but are helpless to do anything.
“What are you up to?” I ask again.
“You’re too late!” The man spits.
“By now, the commander — he’s probably already snatched the lake pokémon!”
I follow her gaze to the center of the lake. In the depths of the crater, a small rise, with an indent that might be an entrance of some kind.
All at once, I realizing the fighting has been pointless. They didn’t need to win — they just needed to waste my time.
“Let’s go!” I say to my pokémon.
Porygon-Z tosses the grunts back at their pokémon, the three of us quick to head into the pit.
The mud slows our pace. I could tell Porygon-Z to go ahead, but at the risk of there being some sort of trap, I don’t dare. Garchomp has the easiest time through the murk, doing her best to create a trail for us to follow. When I get stuck, Infernape is quick to help me.
If not for them, it would be worse than the muskeg fields west of Pastoria City.
Finally, we reach the cavern in the lake. My breathing is heavy, and exhaustion is clawing at my limbs. Caked in mud — whatever commander made me go through this is absolutely going to pay.
Inside, the air is wet and stale. There’s no telling how long this chamber has been sealed.
Despite the depth, it’s unnaturally bright. The water on the ground has a subtle glow to it, the walls covered in a glowing moss.
My heart lurches at the sight further in. A creature I’ve never seen before, small and blue, captured in a cage of some kind —It has to be Azelf. Surrounded by Team Galactic grunts, and at their heart, someone more distinct than the seafoam that surrounds them.
The commander.
This isn’t someone I’ve encountered before. I’ve met Mars, Charon, Jupiter, and their leader, Cyrus. But this — I have no clue what commander this is.
“Alright, Team Galactic! Time to give up!” My pokémon call out to back me up.
Maybe not my most heroic phrasing, but I would blame it on the exhaustion.
It grabbed their attention, though, so it works for me.
The grunts form a barrier in front of their commander. If they’re hanging out with the commander, they have to be higher in rank, but they don’t scare me.
One Earthquake from Garchomp and they would be the ones flopping around in the mud with the Magikarp.
The commander turns around, standing nearly a full head taller than most of the grunts. He has an indifferent air about him. Like he couldn’t be bothered with me right now.
“Relax, I’ve got this all under control,” he soothes to his grunts.
They visually relax, letting their commander past their throng.
If they think their commander is going to defeat me, they have another thing coming. I can’t wait to wipe the looks off their face as I give him the same treatment I’ve given every other commander.
He gives me a lookover, and I have half the mind to send Infernape on him for it.
Sensing this, Infernape lets out a low rumble, he and Garchomp daring the commander to come close.
“I recognize you,” he muses in a voice that is smooth and uncaring. “Mars should be ashamed of herself for letting a child ruin her simple task at the windworks. Pathetic, really.”
The child comment offends me. I’ve always been told I look younger than I actually am, but I’m almost nineteen. There’s no way a child could be tasked with defeating Team Galactic.
“Jupiter, too, for letting you raid our Eterna City base.” He shakes his head. “Arceus, it’s like she wanted you to make a hero out of yourself. I guess that’s what puts me above the rest. I don’t care to make you a hero. I only care about furthering the goals of Team Galactic, and anyone opposed to that must be crushed. Opposition will not be tolerated.”
Without another word, without introduction, he sends out a Crobat on me.
Porygon-Z is on the bat in an instant, tangled up in its fangs.
“Psychic!”
Watching as my pokémon tosses away the bat like it’s nothing, I return focus to the commander. I find it strange he never said who he was.
Mars, Jupiter, Charon, and even Cyrus all couldn’t wait to tell me who they were. It was practically one of the first things out of their mouthes.
Maybe he doesn’t care who he is.
If he doesn’t, then I definitely don’t.
“As expected,” the commander says recalling the bat as its flung off to the back of the cave.
A small hissing noise just barely breaks over the sound of him releasing a loud Bronzor.
Thankfully, Infernape catches sight of whatever is approaching before I do, launching a Flamethrower off to the side.
I order Porygon-Z to Signal Beam the Bronzong, looking over to see Infernape tangled up with a Sableye that had been lurking in the shadows.
Garchomp keeps close, anticipating another surprise attack.
“Rollout!” The commander orders Bronzong.
Porygon-Z does zir best to avoid as many of the attacks as possible, but before we can land too many other hits, zi gets knocked out cold.
I go to recall zir, only to see the Bronzor barreling straight for me.
“Garchomp!”
She rushes ahead, tanking the attack head-on.
“Flamethrower! Both of you!” I order, trying to stay even.
When both the commander’s pokémon are knocked out, he simply recalls them like it’s nothing.
With another toss, he sends out a Toxicroak and a Rhyperior.
Despite all the experience with Croagunk from the grunts, nothing prepares me for how terrifyingly fast Toxicroak is, and how bulky Rhyperior is.
The grunts all cheer on their commander, the sound enough to annoy me.
“Earthquake!”
Garchomp slams her foot to the ground, roaring as the earth trembles around us. Chunks of rock fall from the cavern ceiling, and some of the grunts fall to their feet. The commander merely moves with the motion. With a Rhyperior on his side, he likely has experience with the move.
The commander orders a Bullet Punch from Toxicroak, and Hammer Arm for Rhyperior.
The Bullet Punch never lands, Toxicroak getting knocked out by Garchomp.
Infernape gets tangled with Rhyperior, but at that point, I’m certain of my victory.
I had almost hoped he would put up even more of a challenge. The way he talked about the other commanders made me think he was above them.
Maybe he was just compensating for something.
I go to give direction to Infernape.
Kyuuun!
The cry distracts me. I look back at the captive lake pokémon and realize — the commander is missing; and none of the grunts look worried about it.
The commander reappears in front of me, an Alakazam at his side. He snatches my hand, finally breaking free from that mellow persona with a laugh deep enough to reverberate in my own chest. “I knew I wasn’t going to defeat you. I would have been a fool to think otherwise.”
Infernape and Garchomp both call out, but are held back by Alakazam’s psychic grip.
“But you want to know what I can do?” he purrs.
I say nothing. I’m not about to give any signs of fear. I’m not scared of someone I backed into a corner. He’s just desperate.
“I can take you out of the picture.”
The last thing I heard before leaving the cavern was a chorus of grunts laughing.
Teleportation was something I generally avoided. After trying it once and ending up with severe vertigo, I knew it wasn’t for me.
Teleporting with Alakazam is no different.
Wherever we end up is dark. I can’t see anything around me, only barely able to sense that the commander is standing far too close to me.
He tosses me back against a metal wall. I scream only because I was surprised and because I’m dizzy. I’m not scared of Team Galactic. I’m not scared of this nameless commander.
“Tell me, how did you enjoy your run as a hero?”
I stay quiet, if only to let him monologue while I desperately try to not fall to the ground while the vertigo settles.
I’m not scared.
“I assume you found it fun considering you kept doing it.” His voice bounces off the metal walls, echoing all around me.
I’m not scared.
“I get the pleasure of telling you that you didn’t ruin any of our plans. At best, you set us back now and then, but you never once put us out of commission.”
He steps closer to me, forcing me back against the metal as much as possible.
I’m not scared.
“The windworks? We got all the energy we needed.” His breath hits my face. If I move even a bit I’ll touch him and the thought disgusts me.
“Jupiter may not have gotten that old fool’s pokémon, but that was a cover. We still have everything we needed from Eterna.”
He grabs my arm again, causing me to flinch.
When I try to pull away, he grips harder. Any worse and I’ll lose circulation in my hand.
I’m not scared.
“And now, the lake pokémon are ours. You failed.”
I’m not scared.
“You had your turn trying to ruin us, but now it’s my turn to ruin you.”
Looking at some of the first fics I wrote on here I cringe at my formatting. It just looks so messy and amateur to me now. I wonder if I should go and clean them up now perhaps repost them or if it's even worth the bother, I don't know any thoughts on the matter would be welcome.
Thoughts on what I should do about my very early fics.
Repost them with my current formatting and update links, keep the old posts too.
Don't worry about them looking cringe it's fine and shows my growth.
