#aya thoughts

[aya--bb]

I hate the summer, I think. it always makes me lethargic. I'm counting down until it rains this week. I hate the heat. I hate how it reminds me of when I was younger. I hate how it reminds me of going to the pond. the gas station by the old house. my old church. smoking with my friend 'on a walk'. I hate how the heat makes me feel so bare. short sleeves, no layers. I feel exposed.

[ayatier]

I've been in a gpose art block/rut for a while now. I'm was thinking the best way to come back and regain my creativity again was to gpose what I love and enjoy. Before I left my previous static, I created lots of fun gposes of them and I. Personally, I felt our synergy and natural connection was off the roof. Those gposes were also very meaningful to me. (see below for a few of the many I've done) They are still some of my favorite shots and pieces.

And now I lead my own static. I always fear the worst when it comes to recruitment of people I never met and raided before. That's my natural instinct so I don't get attached if I have to do leader things during stressful situations. Now that time has passed and we gotten to know each other's personality more, I'm slowly coming to adore and appreciate the new static mates.

So I've been debating how I can show my appreciate and show how endearing the members of my static mates are. I'm slow to trust others and slow to love and care -so when I begin to adore others, it's special to me. That's a bond I deeply am grateful for.

One day soon enough, I'll create gposes of them that I'm proud of.

[ayatier]

Sharing old gposes. My EB partner and I are having our 1-year ceremony soon in a couple of weeks from now.

We had our Eternal Bond ceremony before Endwalker expansion dropped. We walked MOST of the way to Endwalker together, experiencing it almost to the T, queuing for dungeons and trials together. When we started back in the 2.0 days when it was just ARR, we didn't know each other back then -but I'm glad I ended this expansion with you still here.

But nothing made me happier being bonded to such a delicate person as yourself, my EB partner. My glam-loving friend. I'm glad it was you who I had the ceremony with. You, who love the same gender. Me, with no attraction to any gender. Sometimes I wondered if things that have happened to us, certainly was our fate?

Words cannot express what I think of our friendship. You, whom stayed. We both who have had people loved to leave in our many years of living. We, who are similar in emotions. We, who shared tears and laughs over VC. We, who loves to teleport to each other. We, who could talk for hours. We, who are not committed -I hope you know I'm always wishing for your happiness and many successes in life.