#ayenrant

[mynameisashleynicole]

I forgot to save what I was typing for 30 minutes.

Yes. Don't you hate it when that happens? I spent 30 minutes of my precious time to type this recipe and then I thought I saved it but I didnt. Good thing I wasnt working on an essay or else I would've probably smashed my laptop with a freakin' jungle bolo.

[mynameisashleynicole]

Late Morning Madness.

Good morning. It's 2.10 pm in Australia and yes, I do classify waking up anytime of the day as morning.

We have Nilaga (Beef Stew with steamed veggies) for lunch and I cant wait to eat it because I had been craving for it for the whole week. I promised my mum that I was gonna cook it but I dont know why I didnt. Silly me.

Last week was just... unexplainable. I cried pretty much the whole time I was alone and prayed so hard.

I was confused on so many levels but I went to church yesterday and it felt good and I'm kinda hoping that my week will be good as well.

Ok enough with the drama.

Busy day today. Journal and laundry day.

[mynameisashleynicole]

Im so sexy. Joke lang. Ang taba ko na naman.

I am not allowed to eat anything fatty or sweet because I am under "observation" but when you're tired from work and you feel like you need to indulge on something, you get this vibe that tells you to live your life like there's no tomorrow and grab a bar of snickers and eat it.

To be honest, I am not feeling any better. I am guilty. I've been eating unhealthily for 2 straight weeks now without exercise and I feel crap. I need to STAHP ET.

Now, Im sitting here wondering why I'm blogging about this when I know that in a few minutes, I'll be munching this bar of chocolate, ignoring the fact that I just blogged about myself and my "secret life" as a food addict.

Yes, I am using the term food addict. Masarap talaga ang bawal.

[mynameisashleynicole]

Ah mann.

What I usually do when I wake up is check my facebook and what I love the most is receiving photos from Ryan sent straight to my wall.

Nope, not tagged... POSTED on my wall.

When someone posts a photo of something cute or just plain whatever on your profile, you are meant to reply to it (by liking it or commenting on it) as soon as you've seen it. But if someone does that before you, that's just rude.

RUDE, you hear me? RUDE.

I am being a bitch right now and I am ranting because I find this RUDE. How can I enjoy something so cute when someone has already commented on it. Uhm, is my facebook your homepage?

I am not being selfish. Geez, you can comment all you want just make you sure you wait for the rightful owner of the photo to comment first before you do. You have to realize that we dont share the same page. What is mine, is MINE.

This is pathethic, ranting about facebook. But you see, its getting really repetitive and its not like I didnt warn you about this. My utter annoyance deserves a chance to be broadcasted.

Point is, I allow you to like, post, or comment on tagged photos or anything on my page. You are very welcome because I'd like to share my world to my closest friends. But for the love of Cosmetic Surgery (I'd say for the love of *insert religious term* but thats not right) JUST NOT THE ONE'S POSTED ON MY WALL, the one's I havent seen yet because, I requested for that thing to be posted and the essence of its cuteness is now gone, thanks to you.

Ah mann, I'm being a bitch to you but whateves. Its about time.

[mynameisashleynicole]

Me and my socially awkward self.

I am well aware that I am such an awkward person. Whenever someone approaches me or if someone gets introduced to me, I get this feeling that maybe I should start cracking a really nice joke to break the ice. But then the jokes I'd tell are the driest ones ever. I am such an uninteresting person.

I have this feeling, after being such a friendly person in Primary school and Highschool... that maybe I've entered a serious stage in my life where I would rather sit in a room full of blankness and I'd be comfortable with that. Really, this is what I think is going on with me.

Truth be told, I dont remember being friendly since I lay low in YFC. That was my only active participation in social gatherings. And since entering this "phase", I feel like I am being less important to people around me and it doesnt bother me at all. I couldnt care less actually but it sucks because I was never like this.

I had been called "Masungit" by my mother's friends because I dont smile at them and would raise my eyebrows at them. I guess I am a snob but I dont want to be one, thats the thing.

So now, whenever I'm around people I dont know if I should act normal or be socially awkward. Should I crack another dry joke or should I just sugarcoat myself and be a happy chap.

Bottom line is, I dont know how to be with other people. But then again, I know this will go away. Like any other teenager, I am going through a phase even though I am not a teen anymore.

LOL, ranty rant.

I am going to self indulge aka sleep.

Tah'

[mynameisashleynicole]

Morning Rant.

I just got up from one of my greatest sleeping sessions of all time and I am already annoyed.

Its monday. Not that I hate waking up on mondays (which is... well, true) but I am furiously annoyed because I have to attend this program that I already have been completed.

I am now sitting in front of my computer, tummy rumbling while Im contemplating if I should attend or not.

I passed the course with flying colours. I was never absent and I was one of the best students. I got interviews and such and I remember I was the only one who was so keen to finish the program.

I just dont understand why Im being dragged into something I've already done before. Ugh. Its as if they're telling me Im incompetent.

This is the deal, a lady who also recently completed the same course was invited to re-attend the course because she is having motivational and interview issues but she insisted that she wanted ME to be there because she didnt want to be alone. And I was like, WUT? I havent even met you lady. I was only mentioned to you by our case manager because he said that interviews are going pretty discreet lately but that doesnt mean I need to attend the program again...

I PASSED.

But yeah, I still have to go there today or else my payment will be cut off. However, Im going to talk to my case manager and tell him that I am not comfortable re-doing this again.

I am saying No to this. Instead of me focusing on getting employment I am being forced to attend this meeting.

Its about time I say no to something. I always say yes to things. "Yes, Im going to this, that... Im going to do this, that..."

Ugh. Im starting to hate this week.