#azenripa

[amazonluthor-archive]

Lillian has been in many situations over the years where she’s been forced to hide her emotions, when it’s become a necessity that her life has depended on. She’s learnt to wear a mask as easily as breathing, and yet, she can’t exactly be blamed for struggling with it now. She’s alone in a foreign land being hauled along by men and women speaking a language she can’t understand, brandishing weapons in her faces and dragging her up whenever she stumbles. She’s afraid, but she’s not going to admit that, and she’s trying as hard as she can not to show it. 

She has the impression they’re not being deliberately rough, however, as one of them has draped a heavy fur coat over her shoulders, which she’s thankful for considering how bitterly cold it is here. She hunches her shoulders inside it as she’s dragged into what appears to be some kind of council room, and one of the men at her side says something in that rough language she doesn’t understand, addressing a woman standing by a throne. Lillian looks up, following his gaze, and jerks in surprise. It’s not the scars that has her startled, or the war paint, because everyone down here seems to have it, but that beneath that, she sees a resemblance to herself. 

What has she gotten herself into now?

@azenripa

[gatekeepcr]

       she   tugs   herself   back   ,   and   away   from   the   other   woman   ,   out   of   her   grasp.     she   will   not   be   tossed   around   like   some   rag   doll   ,   she   won’t   subject   herself   to   the   same   treatment   clay   had   given   her.   no.   she   is   ten   times   the   woman   she   was   then.   she   will   stand   tall   and   she   will   ensure   that   she   does   not   take   the   worst   of   the   damage   given   in   this   fight.      this   won’t   be   like   last   time.      she   will   not   wake   up   hours   later   on   the   kitchen   floor.      she   cocks   back   ,   fist   flying   towards   the   woman’s   face   ,   immediately   followed   by   a   shark   jerk   of   her   knee   upward.   ʺ   ―――     YOU   BITCH.      WHO   DO   YOU   THINK   I   AM      ?     ʺ        /       @azenripa

[azhefa-moved]

icb mama’s home @azenripa  :’)

[amazonluthor-archive]

{continued from here} 

Lillian had been sure Nia was going to die. That despite all her years as a doctor, despite all her experience, she wouldn’t be able to save her. 

She had, but it had been close. 

Too close.

Lillian sat by her bedside, her back beginning to ache from the tension of holding herself so alert for so long, waiting for any sign that Nia might wake. She was the only one there, with the guards outside her door, keeping watch from a distance. Lillian knew that Nia wouldn’t want anyone to see her like this, no matter who they were, from her guards to her sons, who had wanted to visit before Roan had led them away. He, too, seemed to know. It was strange, to realise that she’d earned their trust, that they trusted her to look after Nia, and give her the care she needed. She’d promised she’d tell them if – when – Nia woke, but there’d been no sign she would any time soon. 

She’d washed the blood from the woman’s face and hands, and without her war paint, she looked... almost soft. Lillian swallowed, and took Nia’s limp hand in her own, leaning down to press it to her forehead. ‘Beja’, she murmured, squeezing her eyes shut, ‘beja, Nia’. 

@azenripa

[amazonluthor-archive]

{continued from here} 

‘I was trying to –’ her response became a groan as Nia snapped the arrow shaft, and a tremor ran through her body. She kept her eyes on Nia’s face, determined not to look down and see her own injury. Blood, she could deal with. She was a doctor. She was good with blood and injuries. Unless they were her own. 

She was surprised at the genuine anger in Nia’s face, surprised by how affected she seemed by this, even if it wasn’t exactly concern she could see. She sucked in a sharp breath, and jerked her head at the prone form close by. ‘At least I killed him’, she said lightly, ‘that’s something’. It was also her first kill. 

Her mouth twisted, and she grasped Nia’s shoulder, drawing in a slow breath to steady herself, and nodded. ‘Just do it’. 

@azenripa

[azhefa-moved]

@azenripa​  ||  kigon

          he isn’t sure if he expected a  REAL  answer from her. he is used to snide remarks, retorts filled with subtle snark and cynicism. isn’t sure why he even opened up in the first place. theirs a complicated, strange relationship. yet, she responds to him in a more sincere manner than he is accustomed to. head lifts when she speaks, food momentarily forgotten as he listens  ATTENTIVELY  to her words.  she might not believe it, but he does value her insight. no matter how often opinions and methods differ, she didn’t manage to  rule  so successfully for this long without having some wisdom under her belt. lips press together as his gaze drops back to the plate, picking at his bread rather absentmindedly. some part of him almost instinctively braces for the coming criticism he is so used to. but it is not given this time. what she does say shocks him, makes him  ALMOST  believe it isn’t her lips it’s coming from. brows pull together as uncertainty and disbelief runs through him. head lifts again and he just looks at his mother. he can’t remember the last time she said that to him. isn’t sure if he can recall a time she ever did. he hates how foolish it is, knowing how deeply he has craved to hear such words. and now that he has been granted them, it doesn’t feel real and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. he quickly looks away again, trying to hide the emotion and vulnerability he knows must be in his eyes.   “  mochof, nomon,  ”  something of a mumble.

[azarchive]

{continued from here} 

She couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that escaped her, and she stepped closer, her hands on her hips as she stared at the woman. ‘Since when are you the enemy?’ she asked, her voice tinged with bafflement. ‘I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t care if half my people say azgeda are evil’, she snorted, and waved her hand, ‘as if anything is as simple as good and evil’. She reached out, pushing boundaries that haven’t existed between them for a long time, and gripped Nia’s shoulders. ‘Nia, your people took me in, respected me, and cared for me’. She took a deep breath. ‘Your people are my people’. 

Her jaw clenched, and she reached up to touch Nia’s face. ‘Don’t let them break us apart’, she whispered, ‘please’. 

@azenripa

[amazonluthor-archive]

bed rest

@azenripa | nonverbal starters - accepting

Lillian paused as she felt Nia’s hand against her shoulder, staring at her as she pressed her back to lie on the mattress again. She didn’t resist, turning onto her side instead to at the woman propped up in bed beside her, and murmured, ‘I thought you’d want me to go’.

She didn’t want to go. The bed was warm and soft, and she felt relaxed and content in a way she hadn’t in a long time. Nia’s body was warm against her own, and so she settled back against the furs, and moved closer, tangling their legs and draping an arm over the other woman’s waist. ‘I... wasn’t sure’.