May 2016 was the beginning of a change in my life. I was running around like a chicken without a head, trying to teach at 3 different schools, prepare my students at Ifetayo for their end of year performance, preparing myself for Kowteff’s Juneteenth and several gigs with Fusha, as well as preparing for BAM Dance Africa 2016, which was exciting for a multitude of reasons!
1- It’s Dance Africa.
2- I was reunited with friends I met during my first trip in Senegal in 2014.
3 - I got to perform with a super talented group of young artists.
4 - I made more friendships which made my second trip to Senegal even more meaningful.
I am a reserved, laid back person. I generally like to go with the flow, provided the flow is in line with my own interests and values, because my mother didn’t raise no follow fashion monkey! Jokes aside, I like to stay low key and work at my own pace, keeping personal information and goals largely to myself, but the past year has proved that if I want to reap the benefits of all my wonderful ideas, that I have to come out of my comfort zone and learn new approaches to getting these goals accomplished. For this reason, I am committed to improving not just my work habits but also my social habits in order to become a more impactful version of myself. I have written before about being named after a woman with a large legacy, Mame Fatou Seck, but I’m also named for my two biological grandmothers Ann Dubois and Alice Flossie Primus (my middle name is Annalice). The weight of all three of my names keeps me thinking about the woman I want to be. I think about how people will remember what I’ve done, I think about whether or not people will understand my intent. I think about how and who I’ll inspire, and if I already have at this point in my life.
Recently Dance Africa has changed so much from how I knew it growing up, and this weekend has been especially hard because of the recent loss in our African dance community. This year, within the past 2 months we lost Mr. Mamadou Dahoue, Baba Chuck Davis, Mama Katunge Mimy. Last year on the Saturday of Dance Africa Weekend, we also lost master drummer Cheikh Tairou M’baye, for whom a memorial celebration was held at Alvin Ailey this Saturday and Sunday.
I have been to Dance Africa nearly every year of my life. Five years I have performed on stage, three with my parents group, twice with Restoration. Some of those years I’ve performed outside, when they had “festival dancers”. Most of those years I’ve gleefully sat in the audience, which felt more like a family reunion because you literally see EVERYONE you know. All your dance family from people you haven’t seen in years to the people you dance with in class every week. People whose names or faces you don’t really know but they tell you they've known you since you were just a twinkle in your mom’s eye. And while change is inevitable, when you come to expect a particular experience it can be sobering to look around and take note of so many big changes at once.
All the change and transformation has been the constant reminder I need to keep building my own groundwork. So many great, important people have transitioned from 2016 to 2017, and it leaves me thinking, how will people remember me? What will my legacy say for me, when I can no longer speak for myself. I want people to remember me and not reduce me to having been a good dancer. I want them to connect with the spirit I carried and the work that was important to me. I’m still working on realizing all of that now, so I know I have a ways to go. By no means do I want to rush my time on earth. Still, I’m compelled to make my life meaningful not just to people who know me personally but to anyone who shares my philosophy, my love, any kindred spirt who’s ever found solace in the drums or the dance.
The point of this, was not to say I want people to like me or to think of me as a good person when I die, but to remind myself that as long as I am here I have to make the most of my time, my energy and all things are important to me. I have to learn focus and fine tune my discipline. Share my ideas and then put actions behind my words because whats the point of having them if they stay locked away in my mind. How could any of our greats have been great if they’d kept their gifts to themselves? This weekend has been a reminder of just that. In 2017 and beyond, Fatouseck Primus will continue to work hard, work diligently, love honestly and she will not be afraid to share.
