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the thing is. i think i need a fictional story for the fangirl/reader character in my wanderwoods story to be super into.

because a bookish character talking about how much they love ~general books, like in general~ always comes across as weird and insincere to me, and i think that's part of why i've struggled to connect with this character.

kind of a problem, since she's the narrator.

i think it's hard to sell passion and SpIn-levels of devotion without at least a little info-dumping. and it's hard to convey the books she loves are the lens through which she experiences the world when the only way she ever references them is by name-dropping tropes and archetypes.

for it to be effective, i want to have an internally consistent thing she can reference -- not just random unconnected comments she makes. themes and character development and the big twist that happened in book 6 and who's shipping what, because that feels like a more authentic way to talk about a franchise you enjoy. you know?

... anyway i may or may not be plotting a children's fantasy book series that only exists inside another story. for funsies :)

#babbling moth #what can i say. i was inspired by the rainbow rowell carry on approach. always thought that was a fun way to go about it #torn on whether or not i wanna actually write this #i feel like it would be Super Fun to have a series within a series written concurrently so mc can be talking about The Latest Release #which is a book i was writing at the same time as that entry in the main series and they get released together!#i have an abundance of wips already and was kinda hoping to finish my fic before starting new ones but like... what if :0 #anyway wanna hear me ramble about arts and crafts that give u access to cosmic power?#the story vibe is song of the lioness quartet in terms of identity shenanigans but put everyone in a magic school #mainly bc i loved tortall books growing up and i also fuckin love building magic systems #this magic revolves mainly around crafted trinkets and tools. like amulets and staves and orbs and such.#magic is often fast. like cast spells on reflex quick-draw or conjure a shield to counter sudden spellfire. what if magic was slow?#you can channel specific elemental energies if they align with your natural energy but it must be done thru properly created focus objects #those need to be shaped and charged ahead of time. without proper prep ur mage is screwed #craftsmanship is v important. students learn to whittle to make baby's first magic tool kit but specialty smiths help with advanced tools #(smiths vs mages = class divide. expensive magic school is mainly nobles. craft guilds and apprenticeships more accessible to common ppl)#a tool is like a battery. u have to build it right to contain specific magic. a successfully charged will work but not forever #and u can't hold magic in urself bc your body is already full of You energy. life/soul elemental magic so to speak.#in fact u must train to call elemental energy and let it flow over u and into the tool while you Do Not grab or hold or keep it in any way #it WILL fry your metaphysical circuits and then u will be unsuccessful calling the natural magic u wanted. and also possibly dead #.... but what if u have almost no Life in u anymore. making u a tool shaped for Energy that is currently empty. that would be wild huh #sure sounds like a last-ditch effort to survive murder that would have strange and unprecedented consequences for u in the sequel probably #would draw unwanted scrutiny on someone who is already concealing a big secret huh.#surely not the kind of situation our protag who is attending magic school pretending to be her half brother would get herself into #bc she is snooping into a series of suspicious deaths where the victims were young healthy people who just dropped dead without a mark on e #as if someone had drained their very life energy #surely not. right...?

been picking up flute again recently!

as one might expect when one hasn't played regularly in years, my endurance was (to use a technical term) shit. we're talking losing the embouchure after like a line of playing. not ideal.

tbh you forget instruments require like, muscle memory but also straight-up muscle until u get all out of shape. (like, why does playing with good posture make my shoulder/arm ache?? have i spent the last few years doing literally nothing that involves raising my elbow for an extended period of time??????)

ANYWAY. after lots of little practices, proud to report i can hold it together for a whole page!! now i can actually run studies and etudes and stuff from my blue book all the way through :>

#babbling moth #for context this is. uhhhh sad compared to when i was practicing an hour a day for lessons and orchestra #my teacher and i once performed a duet that was 10 pages start to finish no break #but improvement is improvement n we are headed in the right direction!#main focus now is essentially endurance training + getting the basics back #so im kinda just pulling out old favorites to work through #yknow. save the book of hellish french solos i barely started working on back in the day for some other time.#now is the time for en sol majeur and sunstreams #... and maybe that 10-pager actually bc it's in 6/8 and i like it

bad news: if you leave wooden patio furniture outside to get snowed on all winter, the wood gets fucked up :/

good news: i know how to sand and restain wood! mostly! plus we have some pretty red-orange gel stain from a previous project.

other bad news: i forgot wood stain is scary??? every can is like, here are the instructions :) btw open a window bc the fumes are Serious, and make sure you dry your rags spread out on a concrete surface because our shit is HIGHLY COMBUSTIBLE. okay have fun <3

#babbling moth #i was reading labels like 'surely the one we used last time wasnt this bad' but no. it's just been a few years and i forgor #tbh on the scale of chemicals u get at the hardware store this isn't that crazy. just needs reasonable precautions #but for the past couple years my projects have mainly been done with yarn and paper and nontoxic children's glue #so like. wildly different levels of danger

gained a new appreciation for chris fleming's "hot n bi" bit after spending like 6 hours today stuck in the same position on the couch, Suffering, finally finding some semblance of energy and/or relief and/or ability to do things by looping the singles from The Drug in Me is You (2011) at top fuckin volume

just sitting here with my headphones like, this is neither hot nor bi

this is strange and MACABRE

#babbling moth #weve been having some bad vibes days folks #staring at a wall unable to start any tasks but also vibrating with Unease the whole time #like fuck dude. i tried hydrating and hygiene and warm bread and eating a plant but apparently THIS is the thing my brain needed??#sigh. if it's dumb and it works etc etc

i have returned home with less blood than i had when i left

yay :)

#babbling moth #my doc ordered routine blood test lol #took some doing to make it happen (mapping bus routes etc)#also. they had to try two veins. aaaaaaaaa #trainee tech did the first n had to have mentor do the second when it didn't work. i did not realize u could hit a vein but not Enough?#nothin against her. everybody's gotta learn some time #but i was already like halfway to a panic attack because Needle so that was uhhhh not helpful #also had the fun new experience of getting spotty vision lightheaded nausea bad times after the draw :))) gosh i love surprises :)))#on the plus side they were very nice about it. i got TWO cups of apple juice.

Cannot fuckin believe I spent the better part of 4 hours peeling myself off my couch to return my library checkouts, feeling terrible and reluctant the whole way out the door --

then basically blacked out and came to an hour later doing zoomies around the city, wondering if I can squeeze in another mile or so before my fingers freeze off

#hey. hey brain what the fuck #babbling moth #trying to do something good for me that i enjoy. my brain reacts like a baby aquatic mammal first encountering water #like it was fun and im happy i went out don't get me wrong!!#i just hate when the correct thing to do to feel better is the exact opposite of what my brain is telling me to do #terrible system. zero out of ten stars

ohhhhh duplicate stitch is my new favorite thing ever

so smooth! so tidy! so good at tricking the viewer into thinking i actually know how to do colorwork knitting!! im in love

#babbling moth #look i can manage stripes pretty well but complicated patterns?? multiple colors in the same row?? not at that level yet #now i can basically make a stencil and fill in any shape on my knitting after the fact... revolutionary #i Will be revisiting old hats anf handwarmers and scarves to fancy them up and that is a threat <3

sometimes i am worried about adopting a dog as a single apartment-dwelling person because what if it's not a good enough quality of life??? what about enrichment??? i have to work onsite a couple days a week what about separation anxiety?????

and then i talk to people who are still at the "declawing cats is fine bc furniture and dogs freaking out is funny" stage of animal welfare and im like oh. hm. okay maybe i should adopt two.

#babbling moth #hi im moth sometimes i eat lunch with my coworkers and live to regret it #okay that's not fair. it's mostly just the one guy #last bit is a joke btw. i am not sure one me could handle two dogs esp on walks. but also damn #like i am aware i tend to hold myself to unrealistic standards withe everything including pets #but also. i feel like maybe there is such thing as not worrying enough????

#babbling moth

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