heartbreak thoughts at 3am
i am sitting in the house where basically everything started and i can‘t help but wish that it never did in the first place. i wish I would not have had gone through all of those emotions. this wonderful rollercoaster of seeing an illusion and then ending up seeing right through it when it stops.
but then i ask myself why should i put all the heavy lifting on me. why should i be the one dealing with regret when everything i did was pure and well intended. i did nothing wrong but being open about my flaws. my insecurities. my fears. so why should i be devasted, this absolutely does not make sense to me at all.
i leave it to the universe and karma and to whatever god you choose to believe in. i accept the things i cannot change & change the people around me. i be done with it and even if it will cost me some sleep, this is just the road of progress, this is just the path of growth and strength and not some sort of punishment because i went left when i was supposed to go right.
now it’s up to me not giving up because if i am being honest to myself i knew what was coming, i saw through the bullshit but the love was bigger than my ego. the heart was bigger than my brain, so be it. i will never regret giving love, because who ever received it most probably needed it.
