idk. also i constantly switch between using correct grammar and tumblr grammar.
-”i know you live right down the hall but here’s some leftover food, some snacks, and a box of tissues.”
-”you played loud emo music all night long so now our neighbor is sleep deprived and very pissed.”
-”you’re always getting sexiled and it’s really sad so come into my room for tonight.”
-”dude i know you think i’m asleep but i’m not because of you’re playing overwatch too loudly.”
-”i was playing splatoon and i screamed out this guy’s username and you heard from from next door and it turns out you’re that guy.”
-”you’re a pizza delivery boy who just got dumped i don’t like that you’re so sad please come in and watch anime with my friends and i.”
-”i really appreciate that you’re cooking breakfast for our class but just because it says 20 minutes at 350 degrees doesn’t mean you should put it for 2 minutes at 3500 degrees.”
-”we heard you crying about the american education system last night so we’ve come with ice cream, tissues, and ssb4 lET’S DO THIS.”
-”we’re all trying to keep this guy’s rabbit a secret from the dorm manager so just help us okay?”
-”you were up at 10:30 at night studying what are you majorin- oh you’re a pharmacy major okay.”
-”how did you even hold a party in your dorm room it’s the smallest one on the campus??”
-”you were spewing out memes about depression and suicide so the psychology-majoring therapist inside of me wants to help.”
-”every time you’ve come here you looked sad and bought the exact same order of 2 coffee-chocolate cakes and 24 almond pillow cookies so what’s up?”
-”you look like a stereotypical hipster but you really just have a specific fashion sense and you’re actually really sweet.”
-”you ordered a cake and you specifically asked for me to put poison in it what are you planning?”
-”this little girl’s birthday is coming up soon and we all agree she deserves the world so let’s make a special cake for here/”
-”our bakery is called the therapy bakery for a reason.”
-”hey wanna try our new treat? it’s called the “sugary unicorn chocolate chip diabetes delight””
-”i know we’re an experimental bakery but adding 4 cups of water to cupcake batter isn’t going to make it water flavored.”
-”why did you pay 10 dollars just to play what’s up pussycat 30 times?”
-”we’re a bakery near a high-ranking college and different types of student come and go but you’re the first architecture student we’ve encountered who’s not sleep-deprived.”
-”it’s kinda suspicious that you just came in covered in dirt while carrying a shovel and you ordered a gravedigger’s coffee.”
-”we met 3 years ago and on the anniversary of when we met you got me the exact bouquet you ordered when we first met.”
-”could you and your hot topic ripoff clothing store stop messing with my pastel aesthetic k thnx.”
-”why the fuck did you place your store next to mine we have the exact same name??”
-”so it turns out that there’s a door connecting our stores together so do you just wanna combine?”
-”you’ve been coming this ice cream shoppe for a week just watching this guy and only ordering when he’s at the register so i’ll be your wingman.”
-”there’s this video game competition at the shop I work at and holy hell you’re good at splatoon 2.”
-”i literally just called my bar the chocolate bar because it sounded cool but now we’re selling alcohol-infused sweets okay then.”