“ first I blame you, then I want you. fucking hate you,
then I love you. I can't help myself, no ”
PAIRING married!teddy spencer x black fem!reader
IN WHICH, teddy makes a shocking revelation that undoubtedly shifts the tide between the two of you, not by much but enough.
CASSETTE Waves - Normani & 6lack
¡WARNINGS! 18+ MDNI, smut! dark themes, strong language, cheating, manipulation, obsession, possessiveness, toxicity, angst, yearning, push&pull, pet names, dirty talk, fingering, handjob, oral!f receiving
A/N ‘in his dreams’ III coming soon! feeding yall on this good saturday afternoon 🙂↕️ you definitely can’t have too much fun without some chaos 🍵 ! stuck between doing 2 more parts or just doing one big finale with 2 parts condensed into one, thank you guys for reading <3
the next morning got off to a quiet start. teddy gave you the space you’ve been asking for. not pushing, but never too far away. it seemed to work
he climbed out of bed first, placing a kiss on your head before going downstairs to cook breakfast. after dragging yourself into the connected bathroom and getting your day started, you followed suit.
he ate at the dining room table and brought your food out to you on the back porch, planting another kiss to your head before leaving you be again. you’d been sitting in the hammock chair with your legs pulled to your chest, watching as the sun slowly creeped up into the sky.
despite the much needed comfort he’d given you the night before you’re still pissed about the situation he’s gotten—forced you both into. you spent the remainder of the night thinking, rationalizing. planning.
you slipped back in through the sliding glass doors and into the kitchen, placing your empty dishes into the sink and rinsing your hands before heading for the stairs.
out of instinct your eyes drifted to teddy, watching as he pushed his food around on the plate in front of him, a far away look in his eyes
and still, you headed upstairs without a word.
you did a little exploring on the second floor. quietly padding around and peering into each room.
you were too angry to notice or care about anything other than needing to leave last night, but the deeper you went the more you realized that not only did he get you a house built from the ground up,
everything you’ve ever mentioned about your ideal home had been etched into the place.
a sauna, a room for pilates and yoga, even a fucking library amongst many other things.
you were slowly tracing your fingers along the pages of the thesaurus displayed on the desk beneath a lamplight when he walked in.
“how are you feeling?” his voice was low and careful, but you were still startled by the sound nonetheless
you spoke without facing him
“i’m okay.” you respond quietly, eyes still burning into the pages but none of the words computing. you were too distracted by his presence
he doesn’t say anything but you hear him move from his spot, and his footsteps got louder as he inched closer to you.
you still didn’t turn around.
he stood behind you, hovering. close enough that you felt his body heat on your back.
and then he said something you never expected to come out of his mouth.
you paused your fake reading,
“you told her …. what?” you asked after a beat
“about you, us.” he filled the space between you, “this” his large hand slowly slid around your waist to your stomach, pulling you into him. your back against his bare chest
you were at a loss for words. refusing to believe anything he’d just said. you almost wanted to laugh.
“you’re lying. you wouldn’t.” was all you could manage through the uneven breathing. he rested his head on the side of yours, mouth near your ear now “i would, and i did. i’m not hiding this anymore, (Y/N). ” he said, voice muffled into your curls, rubbing slow, deliberate circles into your stomach.
your hand touched his briefly, then retracted just as fast
“so do you expect us to be some big happy family now?” you turn slightly to catch his eyes and he lets you,
“or you can stop pretending like this isn’t something real.” he holds your eyes with each word, hand still planted on your stomach “it’s not an ideal situation, trust me i know, but that doesn’t change the way we feel about each other.”
you scoff at that, peeling his hand from around you and sliding further down the desk, creating a gap between the two of you
“it’s not an ideal situation because of you, teddy. you did this!” you motion to your stomach, he looks taken aback at the statement. not anger, but hurt.
“i don’t think you understand how fucked up this all really is,” you huff a laugh “i feel so disgusted with myself right now. and the worst part ? you haven’t even apologized”
“you’re right, (Y/N). okay? i should have planned better—
“you shouldn’t have planned anything! you should’ve just let me go and made things work with the woman you married!” you snap and the room quiets. he shakes his head in disbelief, sliding a hand to the nape of his neck
silence drags on with nothing but unwavering eye contact cutting through it
it comes out in a whisper.
“i know saying it now doesn’t undo anything, but i mean it.”
your eyes drop from his to the floor, your jaw tightened
“and don’t ever for a second think you were disposable to me.” he’s closing the space, again. hands held out as if he’s hoping to catch you in them “ i didn’t ‘make things right’ with her because i only wanted you. that’s all it’s ever been, (Y/N).”
you look up and he’s staring down at you. those eyes. always piercing right through you, cold as steel, as if he’s trying to read your mind. read you
“i just…i don’t know what’s supposed to happen now, teddy.” your voice softens “you told your wife, now what? what’s next? we publicize this, pretending like we didn’t fuck up? do you think i want to do that?”
even as the words leave your mouth the reality of it all settles in. there’s no version of this where this ends quietly, peaceful.
“and what did she even say?” you press, nerves swelling “you’re not gonna convince me that she wasn’t pissed, because i expect that—
“she threw her own shit back in my face.” he cut in blankly, no emotion, just a shrug. earning a look of confusion from you
“danica is …. danica.” he said it like that just explains everything “you’re right, she’s pissed. but she always is. there’s nothing i could’ve said that would’ve changed that, regardless of what she has going on.” he’s still speaking as if he couldn’t be bothered by her, it boggles your mind
“that’s it?” you ask quietly, eyes narrowed “that’s all you have to say about the woman you share a kid with finding out you got someone else pregnant?”
“i’m just being real with you, (Y/N).”
that sends a chill down your spine.
not because he told his wife, but because he sounds so…unfazed. like the fall out from this doesn’t matter to him
he notices the look on your face and his expression softens
he sighs and steps in, resting his hands on either side of you at the desks edge, encasing you with his arms, “we’ll figure all of this out. i promise” he murmurs, steadying his hand at your waist, pushing his forehead against yours
your eyes fluttered shut, and for a brief moment you were back there. back to the way things used to be. the way your laughs fell over each other’s, how warm he felt when you were entangled in his arms, how safe you were. before he had you stuck in this house, carrying a child you know you shouldn’t be
the fucked up part is, you really do love him. even knowing how messy all of this is. how wrong.
he retracts. his eyes trace every inch of your face slowly, lips hovered just inches above yours
your heart is pumping at the closeness. it feels too dangerous
so you turn your head and break through his hold, writhing away from him
you clear your throat, back facing him with your fists clenched tightly at your sides to ground yourself
you’re down the hallway before he can even respond. legs moving on autopilot, hurriedly slipping into the bedroom and releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
your hands fly to your face, palms rubbing into your eyes as an attempt to reset every feeling that just coursed through you. it isn’t right. you know better.
“fuck that. no” you say sternly to yourself
you hurry to the drawer closest to the window and pick through the lounge clothes he’s filled it with for you, all things that he knows you like. the continuous attention to detail is really starting to piss you off.
finally deciding on the floral three piece set, you lay them out atop the dresser in front of you
the weight of the room shifts, the floor settling beneath him. you don’t acknowledge him, you just keep fumbling through the drawer, pretending you’re looking for something else—stalling.
after a long moment you go to turn around
the unbuttoned pajama top opened just enough that you see his abs peek through, hands folded behind his back. something like a smirk playing at his lips
“what, teddy?.” you roll your eyes, fingers curled tightly into the clothing you’re carrying
a soft chuckle escapes him, and then he moves even closer
“do what?” you snap, moving backward into the dresser with a light thump
“act like you don’t feel it.” he says simply, inching forward “the pull. the want” he taunts
“i feel like i want a shower.” you mutter “excuse me” maneuvering around him, your feet pad quickly against the wooden floor and into the cold darkness of the bathroom
but of course, he isn’t too far behind.
you turn the light on and head to the shower, pulling at the lever and turning back around to wait for the water to heat up, trying to ignore him as he leans coolly into the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, head tilted. studying you.
he doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to. his eyes do all the talking.
your shirt comes off first, revealing the lace balconette bra you’re wearing underneath, and then you bend over as you slip the sweatpants down your legs
as soon as you stand up he catches your eyes in the mirror. they’ve darkened into nothing but seduction
warmness swells in your gut, heat rising from your cheeks to your ears under his gaze. he’s tracking your every movement.
“do you need something?” you finally snap your head in his direction
he pushes off of the door frame and lets his arms fall to his side, slowly making his way in
“we both do.” he insists, smirking as he rests against the counter beside you “i’m just waiting for you to be honest with yourself about it.”
his eyes trail from your face down to your chest, and even slower down the curves of your body
you gulp, trying not to show him how flustered he has you
trying not to show him how right he is.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say flatly before you tear your eyes away from his, focusing on your reflection in the mirror
silently praying that the water heats up quicker.
“then why aren’t you undressed?” he leans in a bit, inquiring with stretched eyes “nervous?”
“yeah, right. it’s not anything you haven’t seen before.”
“and yet you still haven’t moved.” that lands. you’re not looking at him but you can hear the smile in his voice
you can’t respond. your cheeks burn even hotter, and then finally you see fog winding up to the ceiling above the shower out of the corner of your eye.
you turn away from the sink and watch as the steam curls around your ankles before reaching behind yourself for the clasp of your bra, fingers trembling, trying to keep your breathing steady
you’re struggling a little because of how much you’re shaking, and not long after you hear the squeak of the sink as he moves away from it, taking a spot closely behind you
the tantalizing feeling of his fingers lightly brushing over yours to undo the clasp for you makes your whole body stiffen
he lowers himself to your ear, “there.” he says lowly, sending a chill down your spine
“i could’ve managed” you grumble, letting the straps fall from your shoulders and to the ground, buffering a bit before sliding your underwear down your legs
you hear him curse under his breath
you open the showers door and step in, letting the heat sink into your skin, releasing a long, relaxed sigh as the water pours down on you.
there’s silence for a while. he isn’t saying anything, but he isn’t going anywhere either.
and then something…shifts.
“you know,” he starts, you pause from scrubbing your arms and your eyes drift to the frosted shower door, watching as his distorted figure inches closer to the glass
“i could make this easy for you. i know how shy you still get about admitting you want me to…help.” he says pointedly, voice dulled beneath the sound of the water beating against the tile floor
“and how exactly do you plan on helping me, teddy?”
“it’s simple.” he says “you open the door, i come in. you don’t, i leave. yeah?”
your pulse spikes as you rinse the suds off of yourself beneath the scorching hot water
your eyes watch his every move from behind the glass now
he’s so close, you know he can see how still you’ve gone.
you hesitated at first. every fiber of your being was telling you to leave him there, to let this settle into nothing. let him leave.
you slowly push the door open, skin buzzing, breathing hollow. and he’s already standing there with a knowing smirk on his face.
he holds your eyes as he gets undressed, slipping the shirt past his veiny arms, and undoing the string of his pants before letting those drop as well. your breathing quickens when you look down and see how hard he is
as soon as he closes the door behind himself his lips catch yours, both hands cupping your face once he enters the shower
he deepens the kiss immediately. tilting your head for more access and slithering his tongue into your mouth, taking your tongue into his each time your mouths move together, slowly, sucking on your bottom lip upon release. the sticky sounds of your lips connecting filling the air
he breaks away, staring into your eyes with heavy breaths.
“tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your lips “and i will”
without another word you’re pulling him back in, moving further into the shower and flattening against the cold tile, soft moans traveling back and forth between you into the kiss
and then it heats up into something neither of you can turn away from.
he trails his large hands to your chest, kneading your breasts together, circling his thumbs over each nipple and then clamping his fingers down onto them in a pinch, the combined pleasure and pain courses through you like lightning, drawing a whimper from your lips
“i couldn’t wait to get my hands on you again” he sighs into your mouth before slowly grazing his finger tips down your abdomen and slipping to your center
your jaw falls when he makes contact with your pussy
his fingers slide through the stickiness of your folds, once, twice and a moan tears from your throat as you arch off of the wall into him. he then flattens his palm, massaging precise circles against your clit
snaking his arm around to the small of your back, he brings you closer, pressing his forehead against yours before he slowly slides his middle and pointer fingers into the entrance of your pussy, curling up in your slick walls at an angle
“fuck,” you cry, flutters festering at the pit of your stomach, the sensation from his thick fingers driving you up the wall
“so damn tight” he breathes out
his dick is hard and heavy against your inner thigh. your hand finds him, wrapping your fingers around the dewy skin of his shaft and grazing your thumb over his tip,
he moans lowly against your lips, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, beginning to rub circles into your clit with his thumb and going even deeper with his fingers as they curl into you, watching as a gasp erupts from your mouth before attacking your parted lips once more.
you’re twisting along his length as your mouths engulf each others, tongues swiveling slowly, and he thrusts himself into each stroke of your hand, eyes flickering open and shut, sliding in and out of your warm gushy pussy at the same pace
“shit,” he hisses “i swear you get wetter every time, baby”
you tighten your eyes closed, struggling to keep kissing him back. soft moans fill the space between your lips as the fluttering in your lower stomach intensifies
he lowers his mouth to your ear, still thrusting into your hand
“you like that? hmm?” he purrs “tell me how good it feels” he says huskily
he’s curling his fingers to the side now, digging into every crevice he can reach, speeding his pace and adding more pressure to your pearl as he circles his thumb against it
you moan out and he wraps a hand around your throat, forcing you to look at him
“use your words” his tone is stern, heavy breaths rolling down your cheeks
“nnghhh— feels s-so good” you whimper, speeding the pace of your hand as it moves along his dick and he chokes out a grunt “good fucking girl”
he licks the spot right beneath your jaw where your neck meets before latching his lips there, a moan spilling from his lips as he thrusts faster, sending vibrations into your skin and your legs begin to tremble as he quickens his wrist, twisting and curling his fingers faster, harder, right into your spot
“right there!” you squeak, mouth agape, head tossed back into the showers wall, gasping for breath, still pumping your hand around his throbbing dick,
your stomach begins to tighten, the familiar tingling strengthens as you get closer
he breathes out and nips at your shoulder “sh-shit, baby, keep going” another moan escapes before he’s bringing your face back to his
and then what feels like electricity bursts through you
“fuck teddy i’m c-cumming!” a broken sob tears through your throat, he grabs your jaw and pulls your mouth into his, swallowing your moans as your lips move together sloppily, his eyes tightened shut, and the both of you whimper into the kiss
“you look so fucking pretty when you cum” he groans against your lips “nnnghh fuckk im gonna—” his body twitches rapidly as the warm nut shoots out in increments onto your thigh, and a second wave ripples through your body, making you shiver
when the both of you finally come down from finishing all over each other, you take turns beneath the spray of the water, scrubbing yourselves clean of the sins you just committed
he couldn’t keep his hands off of you the entire time. front glued to your back while you bathed, still as hard as ever, planting kisses on your shoulders and intertwining your fingers with his
and then you both exit the shower
he dries off quickly, but you’re still wrapped in a towel staring at yourself in the mirror when he comes back in sweats hung low at his waist, briefs peeking out from the waistband
your hair is frizzed from the steam of the shower, lips swollen pink, cheeks flushed, but that clearly entices him.
he’s lingering, shoulder resting against the wall by the door, gaze falling over your figure despite the towel hugging you
and then you reach for clothes you have laid out on the counter and turn to exit
“not yet.” he steps into your path, fingers dipping into the crevice of your breasts where the towel’s folded, pulling you into him and lowering his mouth to your ear “i wanna taste you first” his voice drops, you shudder
“and you’re gonna watch.”
he then removes the set from your fingers and pushes you back against the wall in front of the mirror and sink before sliding the towel from around you, scanning your bare body as if he’s never seen you naked before.
without question he’s on his knees in front of you and hoists your leg up over his shoulder, planting open mouth kisses along your inner thigh, grazing you with his teeth
and then, you jump at the feeling of him pressing his lips against your sensitive spot,
“i’m sorry” he’s pressing his lips against you again and you twitch “i’m so sorry” he gently kisses up your pussy, and then staggers at your clit “i’m so sorry for everything, baby” he whispers before sliding his tongue from your entrance and snaking slowly through your folds, flattening against your pearl, swirling around in stimulating circles
he brings his hand to your other thigh and spreads you open wider, stroking his tongue up and down your slit carefully, slurping and spitting, devouring you like it’s his last meal
a moan escapes your lips, “oh my gosh.”
your fingers dig into his wet hair to anchor yourself and he slides his hand from the thigh hiked over his shoulder up to your hip, moving your pelvis back and forth into his tongue
“mhmmm" he hums "you taste so good” he opens his mouth to suck your entire pussy, moaning and shaking his head slowly, the grip he has on your other thigh tightening as he’s still grinding you into his face, and then gently suctioning your clit
your jaw falls at the stimulation, heat building in your stomach, yet another orgasm simmering
“i could eat you all fucking day” he groaned against your warmth, a wave of pleasure rippling through you “you gonna cum all over my face, pretty girl? hmmm?” he purrs, continuing to glide his tongue up and down your pussy tortuously
“y-yes teddy im so close” you whimper, he speeds his pace, moving his face further into your pussy, right into your entrance, and then his tongue glides right into your spot
“mmmmm” he hums into you as he continues swirling his tongue over your point of pleasure repeatedly, your back arches off of the wall and he tightens his grip on your waist, pulling you into each stroke of his tongue, eating you into the most earth shattering orgasm you’ve ever had
“oh my fucking— you let out the loudest, most guttural moan ever.
your legs tremble around his head, every inch of your body shuddering as he licks you clean
and then, he looks up at you and smiles.
he places one last kiss to your pearl before sliding your leg off of his shoulder and climbing to his feet, looking down at you with nothing but lust in his eyes
“my perfect girl” he leans down to kiss you, sloppily, hungrily
he takes his bottom lip into his mouth, hands sliding to both sides of your waist and guiding you toward the sink, taking a spot behind you and rests his head on yours
“beautiful” he murmurs, shaking his head as he examines you in the mirrors reflection,
“i love you so much, baby” he places a kiss on your head and then your cheek, lifting your chin to meet his eyes “i swear i do”
he holds your gaze for a long while, and as the moment stretches you feel your chest tightening
and then he finally retracts, “i’ll let you get dressed. meet me in the room” he says softly, giving your ass a soft smack
you dress quietly, mind working overtime to make sense of everything that just happened and what it means moving forward.
you had a moment of weakness. you know it felt good, but you also know you shouldn’t have done it. that complicates everything more than it already is
maybe made it even worse.
you can’t let yourself get that comfortable again. you won’t.
his face lights up when you come back into the room
“hey,” he smiles “you okay?”
“yes” the lie falls from your lips so easily, and then you hesitate “im actually gonna go downstairs and get some lunch. i don’t feel too good”
he turns to face you now with a look of worry on his face, brows pulled together
“do you need me to come with you?”
“no.” you answer quickly, maybe too quick, so you soften it “i mean— do you want anything? i can grab something for you too”
you can tell he ponders on it, watching you like he’s trying to piece you together
“whatever you’re eating. are you feeling nauseous?” he finally asks
you nod, “yes, do you .. have anything for that here? like medicine or something ?”
“should be in the kitchen cabinet, or maybe in the bathroom downstairs”
you exhale, relief falls over you “thank god. okay, i’ll go check”
you head down the stairs, heart beating louder with each step, trying to keep yourself calm
the kitchen is eerily silent . beautiful, but unsettling. you open cabinets, drawers, everything your eyes land on and then finally you open a drawer and find all kinds of medicine
tylenol. ibuprofen. prenatals.
tucked away in the back of the drawer
you release a shaky breath before hurriedly grabbing the bottle and moving quickly around the kitchen, taking ingredients for sandwiches out of the fridge and scanning the juice for a flavor that will dull the taste of the medicine.
you don’t want to hurt him, or vice versa, and you refuse to be bound to him. this is the only way you can get out of here keeping those things in mind.
after throwing the sandwiches together and handling his drink with extra care, you head back upstairs.
he’s perched at the foot of the bed thumbing through his phone, you announce your presence by clearing your throat
he looks up at you with a warm smile “you feeling better? what’d you end up taking?” he asks, inching toward you with a hand held out for his plate, you hadn’t even thought about that part.
you didn’t look at the medicine long enough to know if there was anything for nausea
so you think quick on your feet
“i couldn’t find anything, and the stuff that was in there isn’t safe for me to take” you force a mock pout, and hums before placing a kiss on your forehead
“aw baby, i’m sorry. i’ll make that top priority, i promise” he says into your curls, sliding his hand around to the small of the back and leading you out to the balcony that connects to the bedroom
you both eat and chat a little, but you steal glances to make sure he downs his entire drink and do a mental high five once he does
“you make a mean ass sandwich, girl.” he chuckles, leaning back comfortably nto the chair and reaching out for your hand, taking it into his
“i’m probably gonna go to the sauna for a bit” you say, leaning up to retrieve the empty plates off of the table and he huffs “can we cuddle first. please?” he slides his palm up the back of your thigh, doing a light squeeze once he lands on your ass
“okay, fine. just for a little”
close to an hour passes before you hear his light snores start up, which means you have about an hour to get out of here and away from him.
you slowly slide out of his hold being sure not to wake him. the medicine may have worked but he’s a big guy, who knows how effective it actually is.
to test your luck, you lift his limp arm laid out on the pillow and drop it
you immediately turn around to grab your purse and phone from the bedside table, you grab his phone as well, thumbing airplane mode on as the first step to making sure he can’t track you before slipping out of the bedroom and jogging down the stairs
“keys, keys, keys” you whisper to yourself, pacing quickly around the kitchen, trying to remember when and where you seen him with them last, and then the image of him scavenging in the drawer near the dining table for the pregnancy tests flashes through your mind
you fumble through the exact drawer, and finally spot the eight ball keychain
maybe he should’ve hidden them better if he planned to keep you stuck here.
you’re out of the door as soon as they’re in your hand, running to his truck like your life depends on it, because it probably does.
teddy’s smart, and rich. of course he has a tracker on his car. so you know you have to leave it somewhere far enough to give you a head start.
as you near the exit ramp you rack your mind for the safest place to go.
the first place he’ll look is your apartment which he has a fucking key to, and the second is your office.
and then, you have an idea.
not a great one, but it’s perfect if it actually works.
you have to do something that ensures he’ll never come looking for you, no matter what.
you have to make him hate you.
you leave the car outside of your gynecologist’s office, and instead of driving your own car that he upgraded (you’re ninety percent sure he put a tracker in there too) you uber.
your heart drums in your chest the closer you get to the destination, so loud you’re sure everyone in your vicinity can hear it.
the house is much nicer than you imagined, but of course it is. perfect landscape, beautiful sculptures riddled in the lawn. children’s toys in the driveway.
you slowly inch up the steps toward the glass door, each one heavier than the last.
you lift your hand, but hesitate, shutting your eyes tightly and releasing a heavy breathe
don’t be a pussy now, (Y/N)
after a moment you hear footsteps inching toward the door, and then a muffled voice on the other side as they play with the locks
“yes?” she asks, looking you up and down, trying to place you. she fails, clearly
you swallow hard before speaking
