#banan

[rotten-m3]

gives u a banan

Holy fuckimg shi

[fullcravings]

Chocolate Banana Cupcakes

[pnfc]

[habbzxxx]

Banan: Boob Maidens vs Witchy Bitches

2.6k words. Part of my Banan comedy/parody series. Kinda NSFW, I guess.

Mr Bananza rode off into the sunset with his legion of hot ass banana picking nympho bitches ready to do battle with the gnomes of Blackengard. Karina watched, quietly contemplating why she and Winter, two of the finest swashbuckling maidens around, were not chosen to be part of it.

"Perhaps there is more to the divine plan than has been revealed, Karina," Winter said. Karina turned to look at her, not sure what to make of the words that a drunk like Winter had produced.

"Perhaps." Karina reflected pensively, sitting atop a Parasaurolophus in the leather saddle. With a couple clicks she steered it away, turning back to the banana plantation. There were still many hot ass banana picking nympho bitches left, thousands even, possibly more.

For now, the gnomes were staying at the edge of the plantation where they would be kept safe until the war was over. "Bwanna, Fiddlesnatch! Grand Ruler of the Gnome Imperium!" Karina called to Fiddlesnatch, who raised his hands up high in excitement.

"Bwanna, Karina! Ripened Ruler of the Banana Lands!" He replied back in a high pitched, squeaky voice. "Karina, I hope you don't mind, but we brought our Bunny Brigades, to keep them safe!" Fiddlesnatch said.

Rabbits and bunnies were everywhere! Winter dismounted to look at a particular one, a large jackalope the size of a boar, a rabbit with antlers that had a gnome sitting atop it with a spear clutched in hand.

"It has antlers! Karina! The fucking bunny has antlers!" Winter exclaimed as if she were in awe of such a creature. "Wow, antlers, oh my gosh!" Winter said, reaching a hand out to touch the pointed structures atop its head.

"I don't think your bunnies will be any issue, Fiddlesnatch," Karina said. She looked around at all the hot ass nympho banana picking bitches that were holding rabbits, cuddling them, kissing them, playing with them, feeding them lettuce and carrots.

"This is truly a remarkable day for both of our people!" Fiddlesnatch said quickly, in an auctioneer-like voice. He jumped in the air, clacking his brown gnome boots together.

"Truly, it is!" Karina slid down off the saddle and called to a couple of hot ass banana picking nympho bitches that rushed into a hut and came out with instruments. One had a flute, the other a fiddle, together they began to play a jaunty gnomish tune.

Karina, possessed by the music, began to tap dance wildly with a precision unrivaled by any in the known world, and possibly the entire universe. "Holy shit, Goddess of the Golden Peel!" Fiddlesnatch exclaimed, panting as he tried his best to keep pace but fell dangerously behind.

Karina smiled, slowing down the rate at which she danced and jigged. They began to do-si-dos, hopping around in circles with each other. Winter joined, then more gnomes, and before anyone knew it there was a full blown Irish-style dance party going on in the plantation square.

"WEEEEEEEEE!" Fiddlesnatch shouted. Karina had hold of his hands, Winter had hold of his legs, they were whirling him around wildly between them, occasionally throwing him into the air to catch him.

Night came, and the dancing didn't cease. It continued, more hot ass banana picking nympho bitches joined, and every gnome. Little did any of them know what was happening, at least none suspected it yet.

Yes, it was a jolly good time, the dancing, the singing, the jaunty tunes and revelry. Karina felt her fat titties bouncing on her chest, thighs rippling with every jig, she couldn't help herself.

She couldn't stop dancing.

Every muscle ached, her whole body was becoming sore, but still she danced. She hopped, she spun around, she jumped in the air, yet no matter what she did, she couldn't stop. "Winter! I can't stop dancing!" Karina yelled, a frightened look upon her face.

Winter had stopped dancing, because yet again she was drunk as hell and unable to stand. "Well, that sounds like a you problem, my liege," Winter said in a drunken voice, throwing herself back on a pile of straw to chug a half bottle of rum.

"Winter! You drunk bitch! Help me stop dancing!" Karina shouted. It was too late, Winter had passed out with a dumb look on her face, tongue hanging from the corner of her mouth.

The gnomes were also stuck dancing, and all the hot ass banana picking nympho bitches too. The fiddler and flute player were unable to stop playing music. "What the hell is going on!" Karina screamed, no longer in control of her body.

"Aha!" A woman in a bright red cloak appeared, looking like a damn vampire. "You see, I've cursed you to dance forever, unless you give me what I please!" Shouted the woman, cackling maniacally.

"I should have know it was you, Count Yunjin!" Karina furrowed her brow, wishing Winter would get up and do something, anything. "You wicked bitch of the west!" Karina said to her.

"Wicked, I am, a bitch, I am also. You will give me the magical mangos, and the gnomes will give me their banana shrooms!" Yunjin cackled. "ALL of the shrooms, so I can trip some major fucking balls with my potions!" There was a sudden flash of bright green light in Yunjin's hands, she shaped it into a ball, then threw it at a tree, making it explode.

"HOLY FUCK! You crazy ass bitch!" Fiddlesnatch exclaimed, still hopping in place, dancing to the point his legs felt like they might give out at any moment.

"You want to see me act CRAZY?" Yunjin cackled. She held out her hand and a broom flew into it, the gnomes gasped. "I'll show you crazy," Yunjin said, putting it between her legs. With a snap of her fingers her clothes changed, it was fucking wild.

"You see, I'm dressed like an angel and acting crazy!" Yunjin cackled, rising into the air on her broom. "Yes! Haha!" She threw a ball of green at another tree, exploding it. "Haha! YES!" Yunjin was cackling shrilly, throwing green balls around all over the place, blowing up the whole fucking plantation!

"Holy shit! She's got some big powerful fucking balls!" One of the gnomes shouted. Everyone was unable to react, or do anything, they were trapped in place, dancing to their doom as Yunjin flew around like a crazy ass fucking bitch dropping bombs all over the place.

"Fine! We'll give you the shrooms!" Fiddlesnatch shouted.

Karina was much more hesitant, she knew if she gave away the magic mangos that bad things would happen, especially in the hands of a crazy ass witchy bitch. What was she even going to do with them? Stir them around in her cauldron until they turned to mush?

"I'll give you some of the mangos, but not all." Karina stared at Yunjin, who flew down to face her. Karina looked at her, Yunjin was kinda fucking hot with her oversize glasses on, the kinda hot where Karina sorta wanted to throw her down and scissor.

"I want all the mangos! And give me that ass, too!" Yunjin cackled. She twirled her finger around, which made Karina dance faster and harder. "You can give me what I please, or dance until you die!" Yunjin said in a voice that reminded Karina a bit of a stand up comedy show she'd seen a week prior.

Karina, short on breath and patience, was forced to agree. "Fine!" Karina shouted. There had to be a way out of this, and if there was, she would find it, someway, somehow.

"Splendid!" Yunjin said. Her broom lifted upward, she spun in circles, cackling and screaming. She began to recite an incantation, one so chilling that it rocked Karina to her bones.

"Dance, dance, it's what you wanted to do! Dancing and jigging, I put a curse on you! Now give in to my demands! I lift the curse from you! Put the agreed upon in my hands!"

Suddenly, everyone stopped dancing. They collapsed on the ground, panting, their cores burning, legs feeling rubbery. "Fiddlesnatch," Karina panted, crawling to him.

"It's okay, Ripened Ruler!" Fiddlesnatch said. "You did what you had to, we will find more banana shrooms," he gasped, rolling over on his back to pass out from exhaustion.

Karina fetched the magic mangos, and Fiddlesnatch the shrooms. Yunjin rubbed her hands together, laughing as she filled her sacks with the loot. More witchy bitches had arrived on brooms, gliding in and landing near their leader to snatch up the loot.

"Fiddlesnatch, look!" Karina said, pointing at a bright white beam of light descending from Melon Mountain. "It can't be... They all died in the Coconut Crusades..." Karina felt her jaw dropping as the midnight heavens opened and light spilled out.

A figure crashed to the ground, landing gracefully on her feet. The light was blinding, causing everyone to shield their eyes for a few moments until it faded. "What the fuck is going on?" Winter asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

In gleaming white armor, a cape of silver, and a lightsword clutched in her hand, it was her, the mythical legend herself...

Somi Jeon Banobi.

"Didn't I teach you witch bitches a lesson long ago?" Somi asked Yunjin. There was a whir of energy as Somi's lightsword extended out, taking the shape of a banana scimitar. Yunjin spurred her broom, trying to escape, but Somi pulled a bright yellow energy whip from her belt that caught it and yanked her down.

Yunjin rolled, producing her own lightsword, a dark yellow with brown spots throughout it. Somi Jeon Banobi's lips curled in a smile. "Your lightsword is looking a bit rotten, Yunjin, if not taken care of it will soon look like a turdsword," Somi said.

Two more flashes of brilliant white light appeared, followed by activated banana scimitar lightswords. Natty and Momo stood to either side of Somi. "That's a lot of titties," Karina thought to herself.

Yunjin leaped into the air, shrieking as she came down atop Somi Jeon Banobi. "I'll fucking end you!" She shouted. The lightswords clashed, the witches whipped out their lightswords and suddenly the shit was fucking on.

Winter was still processing what was happening. The flashes of yellow light, the bright white armor, the gnomes grabbing up spears and the hot ass banana picking nympho bitches with shields and whatever weapons they could find.

"Karina, no!" Winter shouted, her eyes wide as she jumped in to protect her bestest best friend in the whole galaxy. She was snapped out of her drunken stupor, turning into a sudden swashbuckling madwoman who swung her sword and clashed with the witches.

Somi Jeon Banobi and Yunjin circled each other, given plenty of space by the others. "What'll it be, Yunjin?" Somi asked, holding her hands out to her sides. "Return to your lands and remain there, or shall I banish you to the depths of Tumblr Valley with the other witchy bitches and their bargain website spellbooks?"

"It'll take a lot more than you to banish me there, Somi Jeon Banobi," Yunjin snarled. "You think I made my grimoire by watching tutorials online? No, I built it from scratch, learning potions, spells, curses, hexes," Yunjin went on. "I admit, I have acquired a couple of my more powerful ones from Etsy, just like you acquired your lightsword from eBay," she said.

"This sword is the Banana Cleaver, the Sacred Guardian of Golden Gates, Ender of Peels, forged in the forgotten realm of the Durian Dwarves." Somi Jeon Banobi flicked her whip in her left hand, spinning the lightsword in her right.

Yunjin sneered, smiling deviously. "It was made in fucking China," Yunjin said. Somi Jeon Banobi rushed forward, whip cracking above Yunjin's head, the Banana Cleaver swinging wildly. Winter and Karina paused, as did the gnomes, the witchy bitches, and Mustafa Ali Bin-Saluman Al-Khared Bashar Omar Tal Al-Awari, Winter's camel who had wandered in to see what the hullabaloo was.

Somi Jeon Banobi and Yunjin engaged in an acrobatic, almost performative, style of combat that saw their lightswords singing loudly with each meeting. It was hostile, with emotion behind every swing. Yunjin whirled up a green ball, throwing it at Somi Jeon Banobi.

Somi Jeon Banobi dodged it, using the Banan, an arcane force, to throw it right back at Yunjin. Yunjin gasped, catching the ball with her hands as she was thrown back and crashed into the wall of a hut, destroying it in the process.

Somi Jeon Banobi approached the hut with authority in each step, her gleaming Boob Maiden armor glowing like a beacon in the night. Yunjin arose from the hut, throwing heaps of thatching, bamboo, and mangos in every direction.

Yunjin's eyes glowed a bright red, her chest heaving with fury. She held out her hand, snatching her broom. "This isn't finished, Somi Jeon Banobi. I will have my balls out multi-week shroom trip, I swear it." Yunjin shot into the air on her broom so fast that Somi Jeon Banobi couldn't catch her with the whip.

"Gee, if she wants shrooms so much, why doesn't the dumb bitch just go pick some?" Fiddlesnatch asked out loud as the witchy bitches shrieked into the night.

"Master Fiddlesnatch," Somi Jeon Banobi said, kneeling in front of him so they were at eye level. Fiddlesnatch removed his yellow, banana shaped hat, revealing a stash of banana mushrooms underneath.

"I have waited a long time to give this to the gnome king, the rightful gnome king." Somi pulled a silver tube from a small sack, handing it to Fiddlesnatch. "It is the lightsword of your great ancestors, when the gnomes were powerful and respected." She placed it in his hand, closing his fingers around it.

Fiddlesnatch pressed the button. The lightsword erupted in spurts of aesthetic purples, blues, pinks and reds, acting as if it wasn't able to activate. Then, the color went solid, and the lightsword was a solid purple with large orbs orbiting along the blade.

"And they shall be once again!" Fiddlesnatch proclaimed, holding it aloft to the cheers of the gnomes. He turned to Somi, who was standing up, looking down at him. He turned the lightsword upside down, sinking the blade into the ground and taking a knee.

"Somi Jeon Banobi, on behalf of the gnomish lands, we declare you the Saint of the Sacred Shroom, and pledge our allegiance and assistance to you whenever you call. We are in your debt." Fiddlesnatch bowed his head until Somi Jeon Banobi placed her hand under his chin to lift it up.

"What the fuck is happening right now?" Winter asked out loud, puncturing the formal moment of silence where an undoubtedly legendary response from Somi would have been. Karina closed her eyes, hung her head, and kicked the sand beneath her feet.

"Do. You. Mind?" Karina said, using her hands to slice the air with every word. "I just don't understand what the fuck is going on." "That's your problem, Winter, you're always TOO DRUNK TO FOLLOW THE PLOT." "There's no need to shout, is there?" Winter folded her arms and pouted. "Arrrrrrrrrrgh," Karina growled, dragging her fingers down her face in frustration.

Somi Jeon Banobi nodded to Fiddlesnatch with a slight smile. "Should you ever need us, just use this." Somi placed a banana in Karina's hands, but it was no ordinary banana, it was a banana phone. A big one, almost unwieldy and impractical.

"What am I to do with this when not in need of it?" Karina asked. "Keep it in your pocket, just in case." Somi and the Boob Maidens prepared to leave.

Karina placed the banana phone in her pocket, Winter glanced down at it with a raised eyebrow. The Boob Maidens disappeared in a flash, returning to Melon Mountain.

"So, is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Winter asked.

[tinkrbelle2213]

@poweruped hi hello my friend. BB and Banan human designs :D More below the cut also. They change like a lot because I dont like how often my friends mistake them for regular bnb and im tryna make the designs more distinct ToT

The first one there (bb with a cookie) is part of a little animation but the file is too big for me to send TvT.

Some headcanons about them as well, you didn't ask but I'm sharing anyways (a lot of this is based off conversations projectcord has had): -Adopted children of BnB, in this 'au' or wtv they're like. Parents that probably should be divorced. and/or just not have children. They'd be terrible fathers. -BB is older (since bread got him first 'canonically') and is a fairly gentle/well behaved, he doesn't like when people are mad at him and he doesn't want to get in trouble. Sweet little angel child or whatever. Meanwhile Banan is a little bit more of a trouble maker and highkey has anger issues. He's still a sweet kid but he feels like he needs to protect his big brother since BB is too soft to stand up for himself. Too much anger in his tiny little body and he feels like BB is the only person that like. Gets him. He HATES his parents i think. or atleast he hates them fighting all the time n stuff. -BB's butter is just a pillow and it's like his lil comfort toy. He trades it off with Banan sometimes when he's trying to convince Banan that the world ISNT terrible and that their parents probably love them actually

I definitely had more thoughts about them but i like. forgot everything. You get the gist though look at them look at these sweet boys Also my parents bought me the plushies for christmas and they went camping with me this weekend :D they sat in my hammock the whole day and had a great time i think. Have some photos.

[kvoi-6]

gives u a banan

thamks you for banan

[opalradiance]

gives u a banan

🍌

[wcplunger]

I'LL KILL HIM