Okay, Lance had definitely not thought through the whole ‘angrily stomp out of the room and leave Keith stunned behind him’ thing. Mostly because now Keith was in his room and Lance had nowhere else to be at five in the morning. It was still a good 2 hours until anyone was supposed to be awake.
What that really meant was everybody still had 2 hours of productive free time until they’d agreed Allura was allowed to beckon for them. God, he wished he hadn’t argued for the extra hours of ‘beauty sleep’ now. Even if sleep was all he wanted to do.
Still, maybe the time would give him an opportunity to shake off the lingering heaviness of his nightmare.
Lance fiddled with the bracelet on his arm. Pidge really was their very own genius extraordinaire. It was measured perfectly to his wrist. Which was saying something, because he had itsy-bitsy crazy thin wrists. From his Mom’s side.
His siblings had teased him relentlessly for having ‘dainty’ wrists. Ha! Lance smiled to himself at the thought. If only his family could see him now; he would absolutely destroy them in arm-wrestling.
He might even be able to beat Marco, but his brother had-
The ringing surged, “Ah!” Lance stumbled to the side with his head in his hands. His elbow hit the wall and he yanked back immediately, “OooooH! Mmmm- ! Mother trucker!”
His arm tingled with pins-and-needles as he lost balance and fell to the floor.
“Lance!?”
Shiro?
Shiro.
He ran down the hall towards Lance, “Lance! What’s wrong?”
“I hit-” Lance hissed in pain again, “I hit my funny bone.” He cradled his left arm against his chest.
Shiro froze in surprise, until he started to shake. Within seconds Shiro stopped trying to contain his snickering and was laughing outright.
“Shiro!” Lance said scandalized, “Stop laughing at me! The funny-bone hurts!”
Shiro was laughing so hard he was wheezing, “I’m sorry,” he could barely get a word out, “It’s just so funny!”
Lance dropped his head against the ground with a thump. “It’s still tingling!” He whined into his chest, sounding for all the world like a petulant child. Which only made Shiro laugh harder.
-x-
Now, Coran had seen some things in his days. He’d seen stars and galaxies and war and peace, applez and orranges, kings and queens. The rise of civilizations. The fall of planets. The lives in between them.
Still, it was quite a sight to come upon the blue and black paladins in the hallway of his castle. One rolling on the ground in pain and the other laughing uncontrollably at his friend.
“Paladins?”
“Coran!” Shiro managed to talk as he tried to catch his breath.
“What is the meaning of this, Number one?”
“Lance, hit his-” he wheezed again, “funny bone,” A giant smile still plastered across his face.
Lance shouted out next to him, “There’s nothing funny about the funny bone Shiro!”
“There is for me!”
“Would you like some help, Number Three?” Coran asked as he walked in front of Lance on the floor.
“Dios mio, yes! Please!” Lance took Coran’s hand to pull himself back up, still rubbing his elbow as he glared at Shiro.
Coran shook his head, “I don't think I will ever understand you humans, you’re a very… unique breed.”
“Don't even try with this one. The funny bone is the most useless, pointless thing the human body ever came up with,” Lance stated the fact like it was his greatest enemy.
“I’ll have to disagree with you there, Lance, because that was exactly what I needed this morning,” Shiro smiled smugly.
“You shouldn't even be awake this early!”
“Oh, but I am. And I will never forget this. Oo-!” Shiro hummed with a discovery, “But thank you for reminding me! I was hoping to catch up with you to go over the Blue Lion.”
Lance’s playful smile dropped.
“You have Olympic talents for dampening a mood, you know that right?”
“I have been told that once or twice.” Shiro smirked, “And yet we’ve still got to do it.” He latched his hand onto the back of Lance’s jacket.
Lance’s mind worked overtime to try and figure a way out. He couldn’t confront Blue, not after everything that happened. Everything that he’d done.
“A unique breed indeed,” Coran murmured as he watched Shiro continue to half-drag Lance towards the hangers.
“See you at breakfast, Coran!” Shiro waved at him before turning a corner.
“Hey! There’s an option: breakfast! Y’know… eat, talk... not mess with the Blue Lion.” Lance tried to smile.
Shiro infused his voice with false cheer, “Sure, sounds like a great idea! If you’re willing to actually talk now,” Lance cringed, “Didn’t think so.”
Shiro stopped them in front of the hangar doors, his shoulders sagging a bit, “Listen, Lance, I get the whole not wanting to share with us thing. I don't like talking about my experiences either.” He sighed, “I know it would probably help to talk about it, we both know that, but we also know how hard that is.” Shiro made pointed eye contact with Lance, “So if we’re not going to work on the emotional, then we’ve got to work on the logical. And that means the Blue Lion.”
“Or…” Lance mock shrugged with his hands, “how ‘bout we don't and say we did?”
Shiro raised a judgemental eyebrow.
“Fine, fine,” Lance raised his arms in surrender, “Didn’t think that one would work anyways,” he grumbled, “All I wanted was some sleep.”
Stepping up to the hanger doors felt more ominous than usual. But when they opened, Blue was just as amazing as he remembered.
And her barrier just as strong.
Shiro followed him into the room as he slowly made it to the particle shield.
“Hey, Baby Blue,” he paused to look up at her eyes, “Miss me?”
Lance rested a hand on the barrier, trying to feel her in his mind. She used to be a constant presence. Always there to reassure him, to push him further, to help him be better.
Now?
Now, as he searched for her connection, Lance could feel the walls between them.
Now, as he desperately hoped for even a sliver of her peace, there was nothing.
Now, as his fears were silently confirmed, Lance knew he’d been cut-off from her.
“Sorry, Shiro, it’s just not happening,” He pulled his hand back from the shield quicker than necessary. He hurried to get out of the hanger and alone.
“It’s okay, Lance, I was planning on a bonding session today anyways,” Shiro smiled gently and followed after him.
Lance spun to face him, “Why?! Because you knew this wouldn’t work?!”
Shiro was started back a bit, “No, I just-”
“Don’t worry! I knew it wouldn’t work, too! Of course it wouldn’t work! Why in the wide wide world of Webkinz would Blue ever want me back?! She wouldn’t! I don't even know why any of you want me back! You have Allura now! She’s literally a magical alien princess! How can I compare to that?!”
“We want you back because you're our friend, Lance. You’re the only one comparing yourself to Allura,” Shiro tried to comfort him, tried to fill in those insecurities and worries. He’d seen them in Lance before, known they were there, but they’d grown since he’d been... taken. “We told you: Blue barely let Allura fly her, you are the Blue paladin. Not anybody else.”
“Well somebody forgot to tell her that! Did you know I can feel the walls between us? I can literally feel everything that’s stopping me from connecting to her. To my lion. Can you even imagine that? I wish I could help you, but maybe I’m not even meant to be a paladin anymore.”
“No, that’s not true, Lance. I know it’s not. Please, just come to the training today. We’ll try this again, and-”
“Don't you get it, Shiro?! It’s not going to work! We can keep trying, but it’ll never work because she shut me out! She cut me off!” Lance’s voice saddened, “Completely.”
“We can’t be sure of-”
“Fine! I’ll be there. But I’m not promising anything,” Lance turned his back to Shiro, “So don't get your hopes up.” He left the hangar quickly, pushing himself farther and farther away from the Blue Lion. Further into the abandoned darkness.
Lance curled his arms around himself in the empty hallways, but kept walking. A weight settled in his chest. Accumulating from the nightmare, the fight and, Blue. He was so tired.
The density of the heartache slowed him to a stop in front of the observatory, doors opening automatically.
Oh, how he missed the stars.
He’d been in space for probably more than a year now and he’d spent three months without seeing the stars. Without a window once the entire time.
The tablet-pad in the wall told him he still had an hour ‘till he was needed for anything. The massive window ledges called to him. They were hard, but wide enough and long enough for him to lay on them.
Lance stared out at the space beyond the glass. The infinite universe of stars and planets and cultures.
And silence. Without muddling noise or cheering crowds or hushed whispers or dying fear.
Just calm, clear silence.
A roar thundered through his mind, and he shot upwards, his eyes snapping open. When had he dozed off?
Fading growls echoed in his ears. Quickly being replaced by the ringing.
He just wanted a moment. Just to relax. To relax without shrill screams lingering in the background. He just wanted to escape it. Escape what it pushed him towards. Escape what it made him do.
Not now. Not now. Not now.
Not yet.
Lance worked to calm himself down. It’d been worse than this before and it’d be worse again. He just had to move around it.
Lance climbed off the window ledge and made his way to the wall tablet. He had to get to breakfast with the team.
God, Keith would be there.
God, Shiro would be there. He has the actual worst planning ever. Two fights in as many hours with people he literally can’t avoid.
“Ugh, breakfast is gonna be so awkward,” Lance groaned and then forced himself towards the dining room.
He was correct. Breakfast was insanely awkward. Both Keith and Shiro were there and he pointedly avoided making eye contact with them.
By staring at his goo.
Shiro cleared his throat, “So, today’s gonna be a training day. Just to get back in the rhythm.”
Ah, green goo.
“Of working together.”
Very….
“As a team.”
Green.
“Including a bonding session.”
Much goo. Very wow.
“Lance, unless you’ve discovered the secrets to Voltron in your goo, please listen to me.”
Lance lifted his eyes in a deadpan look, “I am listening and the goo says 42. I said I’d do it so let’s do it.” His chair scraped against the floor when he stood up. He wished it’d been louder.
“I really don't think mind-melding is something I want to do right after eating.” Hunk protested as he collected bowls to drop off in the kitchen.
“We’re not going swimming Hunk, you’ll be fine,” Pidge patted his shoulder in reassurance.
Once everyone had left the kitchen, they headed straight for the training room. Lance ahead of them, leaving tension in his wake. He just wanted this whole mess of a day to be over already.
Coran handed them the headbands in silence and they all sat together again. The same pattern as their first day as Voltron. But everything else was different, so very different.
“This is going to be a bit of a change from last time, since we’re trying to focus on just Lance. I’ve adjusted the headbands to compensate.”
“Let’s just get this over with.” Lance put his headband on, watching the others do the same.
“Relax and breath.”
Lance gritted his teeth against the ringing, he could handle it for now. For this.
“Let your minds connect. The flow between each of you is crucial to your bond as Voltron.”
Hunk reached out first, feeling the link snap into place. Except one. Something blocked him from Lance’s mind.
He tapped it, pressing curiously and shifting around the edges. Searching for the roots and the boundaries of it.
Pidge was second, she hit the wall harder than Hunk had, then followed his lead. Working to discover the problem. To learn.
“Lance, why aren’t you letting us in? You have to let us in for this to work at all.” Pidge snapped at him.
“Yes, I know that. But I can’t feel you guys,” Lance grumbled back.
“Then what’s wrong? Why can't we get in?” Keith argued as he banged against the mental block, trying to force it away.
“I don't know. I can’t feel any of you.”
“Just keep trying, I know we can do this,” Shiro pushed against the barrier between them, the team following suit.
“I can feel you guys now. Just a little.” Lance’s words sounded tight.
“It’s working, just a bit farther,” Hunk urged. They pressed harder.
“I- I don't know guys,” Lance paused for a second, his team didn't, “I think I have a headache-” Lance gasped.
A pulse shot through the wall, slamming into the paladins, forcing them out of the bond,
“GET. OUT. OF. MY. MIND!!”
It smashed against them, knocking them back forcefully.
Hunk wheezed from his place on the floor,
“owww.”
Everyone else groaned in agreement.
“Gaaah!” Lance shouted from his seat, pressing his palms to his temples in pain, “This doesn't make any- what was- but it didn't-”
“Hey, Lance, Lance, come on. What’s happening?” Shiro moved forward quickly on one knee, grabbing hold of his shoulders and trying to get him to look up. “Lance, what was that?”
“I don't know. I don't know what happened. But the moment you guys got pushed back, I remembered something.” Lance shook his head roughly.
“What?” Shiro let go of him and rocked back in surprise.
“You never said you had memory blanks.” Pidge pointed out at him from propped up on her elbows.
“I didn't- I don’t.” Lance tried to guarantee that as fact for himself, “But for a moment, when something lashed out at you, a memory came through. But it can't be mine. It can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t forgotten anything! I hate it; but I remember everything!” Lance jerked out his hands, “I counted. I measured. I numbered every. single. day. At most I was off by a week, maybe two. But this isn't- It doesn't fit.”
“Wait, Lance, how long did you count?” This time it was Pidge that approached him. Getting as close as she could with her hologram wrist gauntlet.
“Ninety-one,” Lance yelled, “I was there for ninety-one days and I remember every goddamn one of them!”
“Wait but 91 days is only-” Hunk started in the background, but Pidge quickly interrupted.
“Ninety-one days only adds up to about three months.”
“And?”
“And you were missing for six months. Not three.” Pidge flipped around her hologram to show the numbers ticking past days on the calendar, finally stopping at 182.
Six Months.
Next Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/622144446399758336/chips-salsa-chp-7
First Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/613092735756402688/chips-and-salsa-chp-1
