I have the chance of having a lot of time to think, and a good capacity to learn so I thought I would just... Put a bunch of stuff I learnt over the year, right here
Loving is a responsibility, saying "I love you" and not even caring for it is a blatant lie.
I learnt that words should be used responsibly, to use weak words more often; "hate", "love", "being sure", "never", "everything" are used way more than they should be, because they aren't truly felt, and they condition ourselves to believe we do.
I learnt to love a bit less, but for reasons that would last more time. Burn like a candle, not like a raging blaze, so you don't burn the people around you or yourself
I learnt that everything I believed, perceived, felt, depended on me. I learnt that perceptions could be controlled on will, and that I could choose who I was and how I reacted to things this way.
I learnt that some people, even those who are far older than you are, are gonna be utterly dumb in some aspects of life you feel comfortable with, while the reversal is also true. I discovered that these weakness and strenght would partly define our behavior over time, and that learning things would make you an entirely different person if some wisdom actually get through you.
I learnt that we are so, so far more volatile that I thought; You think you aren't the same person you were a year ago? Hell, you aren't entirely the same person you were a *minute* ago, every single thoughts have the potential to change parts of who you are
I learnt that.. I truly felt peaceful with my environment only in the moment I didn't wanted anything from it, just to observe and be content.
I learnt to spend my money for my own joy every now and then, and that it was a kind of self-love
I learnt that men could be really soft, wise and nice too, that individuals where far more important than the group they were put into. (I have been scared of men for years, so yeah that's something for me ahah)
I learnt to smile, to be kind with people, because it could matter, because that's always the right thing to do. I also learnt that being rude was being kind sometime, balance is hard to find, but love is a soft as fire lol.
I learnt that the moment that were gonna be truly important in your life would likely be more similar to be "doing stuff at night with your friends while discussing about important and silly stuff, talking about life while walking to go nowhere" than "Ayo I just travelled in another time zone and it was funny!"
I've learnt to fall in love with people and objects, also animals, not with love itself
I've learnt gratitude, to be happy of everything I have, of everything I do, to treat myself like something I love too.
I've learnt that I could truly feel the world only if I was vulnerable to it, if I let it through me, I've learnt that pain was worth it
I've learnt that being devoted, committed into some aspects of life helped to find stability and value in it
I've learnt that humans were extraordinary and unique mostly because of their obsessions, more than their quality and flaws
I've learnt that endurance, to be resilient, was SO MUCH MORE important than to be strong
And finally: I've learnt that existing to the fullest, to be doing stuff, was *always* a better option to erasing ourselves and stillness. Always choose to do, to live, because each seconds will never come back and you don't want to spend them grieving, or being scared. Let yourself evolve through it, you will make it through it, it always pass.