"You'll surrender if it comes to it, won't you?"
Priam looked up from his desk, and the roll of parchment that held the list of necessary supplies for the front lines. Pherenike sat on the floor beside the hearth, as she had done since she was twelve. A grown woman now, and still so much like the girl she had been, even when, at other times, she seemed older than their lord parents. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. He leaned back in his chair, his fingers tapping against the charcoal pencil he held, "Of course not. To die for one's country is a great honour. The ultimate service."
His sister scowled – or, at least, he thought she did, before her face blanked, "Be serious."
"I am being serious, Nika–"
Priam raised his eyebrows, the stun of her sharp words outweighing the hurt. The shock of hearing his soft-spoken sister snap at him made him pause, while she continued after a shaky breath. "If you surrender, they have to take you as a prisoner, don't they? They can't kill you if you surrender. They have to ransom you back."
So that was it. She was worried. Why she couldn't simply say so, he didn't know. For the same reason he didn't know why she still insisted on calling him and Bellerophon her foster brothers, and for the same reason he didn't know why she never let their lord parents adopt her. Priam looked at the floor, his sharp face furrowing into a frown. He also didn't know how he was supposed to explain war to her. Yes, were he to surrender then he ought to be ransomed back. But would that happen? He seemed to be in the dark about many, many things – and that did not befit the heir to House Astalis at all. Standing up with a weary sigh, Priam came to sit beside Pherenike, wrenching his socks off to warm his feet by the fire and throwing them at her, which earned him a groan of disgust and a smack on his shoulder that smarted, even through the thick winter cowl.
He didn't bother to catch them. One landed on the hearthguard, the other flopped onto her knee. Pherenike jolted it off her and stared into the fire as if it had personally offended her, "I don't know why I bother," she kicked the sock sullenly, watching as it crumpled like a dead fish a few week away, "You're just like Bell. Stupid fucking hardhead. You never take anything seriously. You do know you've been an adult for nigh on ten years now? You should act like it."
"Well, that's not fair. I'm much more mature than Bell, for one thing. And you, for another."
"Bell just got married, I have two degrees, and you're going off to get skewered. Oh, yes, the height of maturity. You'll be so mature with your skull bashed in. Save some fucking maturity for the rest of us when the Varäßlatíans have pulled your spine out your ass."
Priam barked a laugh despite himself, sharp and startled, and immediately regretted it when Pherenike shot him a look that could have peeled paint. He tugged her hair at that. He wouldn't have, except she was really asking for it. It proved her point, perhaps, but it satisfied him deeply, "Now listen here–" There was a knock at the door then, just one, and they knew it was Gaddam. Priam dropped Pherenike's hair at once and pulled back sheepishly, "Come in, Gaddam."
The door swung open, and then closed. Gaddam was likely an imposing man to others, but after seeing him laughing jovially after all the Astalis children fell flat on their back countless times when he taught them to horseride, neither Priam nor Bellerophon, nor even Pherenike were scared of him. And Pherenike was easily frightened, so this was some feat. He took in the pair on the floor with a professionally still face, his hand resting easily on the sword at his belt, "Having fun, young lord Priam?"
Priam opened his mouth, then closed it again, glancing sideways at Pherenike. She had drawn her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, chin tucked down, eyes flicking to Gaddam and away again like a skittish bird. The sight made him remember the first few months of her life in the keep, spent mostly trying to be a servant or hiding under her bed. They never talked about her origins – it was simply past tragedies. Bell didn't even know, she shut down that possibility years ago. He forced a grin back onto his face, “Always,” he said lightly. “You should see us when you’re not around. Utter anarchy.”
Gaddam’s mouth twitched, just barely. “I’m sure.” His gaze lingered on the discarded socks, the parchment abandoned on the desk, the way Priam sat far too casually for someone whose name was already inked on three different muster rolls. “Your lord father sent me. He says dinner’s nearly ready, and asks that you eat as a family.”
Priam nodded. “We’ll be there.”
Gaddam hesitated. He shifted his weight, the leather of his armour creaking softly. “Miss Pherenike,” he added, inclining his head to her with the same courtesy he showed Eabha herself, “The kitchens have honeybread tonight. And dates. Fresh.”
Pherenike hummed noncommittally, still staring at the fire, “I’ll come in a minute, Gaddam, thank you. I have no appetite.”
Priam glanced at Gaddam and mimed slitting his throat, which made his old tutor chuckle. The swordsman nodded respectfully and turned back to the door, likely on his way to more important errands, "I'll leave you to your cat herding, young lord. Good evening, Miss."
The door shut with a soft, solid click that seemed to seal the room behind Gaddam. The fire crackled. Priam watched her for a moment longer than he meant to. Then he reached out and nudged her knee with his toes, “Honeybread,” he said, “Dates. You love dates.”
“I like dates,” she muttered, “I love not having my brother die.”
He sighed and leaned back on his hands, staring up at the age-darkened beams. He was quiet for a very long time, his words heavy in his mouth. Eventually, he shifted, drew one knee up and rested his forearm across it, the reflection of flames dancing across the polished leather of his bracer, "You asked me to be serious. So I will be, about surrender."
It was a chance to opt out. Priam rather hoped she'd take it, but he knew otherwise when she started fussing with her hair.
“If it comes to that,” Priam said, choosing each word with care, “I’ll do what keeps my men alive. And if that means laying down arms, then I will. Honour doesn’t mean throwing yourself onto a spear just because it’s pointed at you.”
“That’s not what you said earlier.”
“I was posturing,” he waved a hand in a vague fashion, "It's what happens when my nutjob sister starts needling me. But I also mean to tell her that I'm not trying to get myself killed. I want to come back. Be head of the house one day, win a few more tourneys, get married, have some kids. Watch you get married and have some kids. I don't want war to be where my life ends."
Pherenike started braiding a small strand of her hair. She worried at the dry edges with her fingertips, "I just... Your parents–"
"Our parents, Pherenike."
"Your parents." she replied quietly, "Your parents won't live forever. And Bell is... I can't rely on him to protect me, he's..."
He waited patiently. Sometimes the language failed her. She was so fluent he often forgot it wasn't her native one. All things considered, she had assimilated well. That had been a priority of their lord parents, when she came off the ship. To civilise her.
Pherenike sighed deeply and rubbed at the sockets of her eyes, smearing some of the experimental kohl she'd been trying out, "Bell writes that people are going missing in the capital. People like me."
Priam’s breath caught, shallow and sharp, before he could stop it. He rolled onto his side to face her fully, the levity gone from him so thoroughly it was as if someone had snuffed a candle. “What do you mean, people like you?”
Pherenike didn’t answer at once. She tugged the braid loose again, fingers trembling now that she’d started. The firelight caught the kohl beneath her eyes, making it look like bruising. “Foreigners. Converts. Anyone who doesn’t have a name that fits neatly into a ledger,” Her mouth twisted. “They're going after people with magic again, even after these DoSA drafts. Alchemists and apothecaries and the immaterial sciences come next."
He swore under his breath. He pushed himself upright, back against the bench, and scrubbed a hand over his face, “Bell shouldn’t be writing you things like that.”
"He didn't mean to scare me. I don't think he thought much of it at all. Just work stress for his husband."
Priam let out a long, slow breath through his nose. “Of course he didn’t,” he said, a touch bitter. “Bell never thinks the sky is falling until it’s already landed on his head.”
“That’s not fair,” Pherenike murmured automatically, though there was no heat in it. Her eyes stayed on the fire. “He’s just… optimistic.”
“He’s reckless,” he countered, softer now. He shifted closer without quite touching her, the way he’d learned to do when she was younger—close enough to be there, far enough not to startle. “And Orin’s no fool. If something ugly is happening in the capital, it won’t stay contained.”
“They don’t like uncertainty,” she said after a moment, “People like me are uncertainty. I don’t belong cleanly to anything. Not here, not there. Not legally. Not spiritually.” She swallowed, “If you die, there’s no one left who can afford to be indulgent about that.”
Priam’s jaw tightened. He stared at the fire until the shapes in it blurred. “I don’t intend to die,” he said again, more firmly this time, as if repetition could turn intent into law, “And you’re not as alone as you think.”
She gave a short, humourless huff. “You’re going to tell me the House will protect me.”
“I’m going to tell you that I will,” he corrected, “Which is not the same thing.”
Pherenike glanced over. She believed him, he thought, she really trusted that.
“If I’m captured, I’ll endure it,” he said. “If I’m ransomed, I’ll come home poorer and angrier. If I’m not—” He stopped himself, lips pressing thin. “Then you will have letters. Seals. Promises written in my hand. Gaddam knows where they are. So does Mother.”
Her face went pale. “You’ve already planned for that.”
“I plan for everything,” he said quietly. “That’s my job. It’s been my job for a while now. Mother and Father like to pretend everyone sees you how we see you, but we know otherwise. I'm your older brother. It's my job to make sure you're safe. It's, like, an actual law, or something. Even if you're nuts."
The fire popped, sending a brief shower of sparks up the chimney. Outside, somewhere in the keep, a horn sounded—shift change, perhaps, or a rider arriving late. The world went on, inexorable and indifferent.
“I should go with you,” Pherenike said suddenly.
Priam turned to her sharply. “No.”
“I could help,” she pressed, words tumbling now that the dam had cracked, “I know field medicine. I can brew under pressure, with limited supplies. I've dealt with the Plague. I’ve done it before. I could—”
“No,” he repeated, more force in it this time. He caught her wrist when she tried to pull away, then immediately loosened his grip, mindful, “You will not be safer on a battlefield. And you know it.”
Her lips thinned. “At least I’d be where I can see you.”
“At least you’d be where anyone with a grievance and a knife could see you,” he shot back, “You think Varäßlatíans are the only danger? Armies attract worse things than enemy banners.”
She went quiet at that, anger cooling into something heavier. Fear, perhaps. Or calculation, “You’re asking me to stay here,” she said slowly, “and wait.”
“I’m asking you to live,” Priam said, “Here, with our parents. Far away from Bassenville. With guards. With people that know you and will notice if something happens.”
Silence stretched between them again, taut but not hostile. At last, Pherenike reached out and retrieved one of his discarded socks, turning it over in her hands. She picked at a loose thread with meticulous focus.
“When you come back,” she said, very carefully, “you’re going to help me.”
“With papers,” she said, “Registries. Licenses. I don’t care if they’re ugly or incomplete or technically provisional. I want something that makes it harder to make me disappear.”
Priam nodded once, solemn. “Done.”