right so I know there's only like four other people on here that have ever heard of this musical but my school's doing it in march and I'm just the slightest bit obsessed soooooo
The Mystery of Edwin Drood
(musical)
Incorrect Quotes!
Jasper: And I just want you for my own~
Rosa: Please leave me the fuck alone~
Alice Nutting: You know, I do love working here with the Music Hall Royale. We have a lot of laughs.
Also Alice: FUCK OFF JANET. I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR FUCKING BABY SHOWER.
(more under cut)
Crisparkle: All the festive decorations are up! There's only one thing left to hang!
Everyone else, in complete unison: JASPER.
Crisparkle: no.
Datchery: I've connected the dots.
Killer: You didn't connect shit.
Datchery: I've connected them.
Jasper: I'll have you know that I have been a perfectly decent vocal instructor.
Puffer: You fucked up a perfectly good kid is what you've done. Look at her, she's got anxiety!
Bazzard: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Bazzard: Weight loss? Drink water.
Bazzard: Clear skin? Drink water.
Bazzard: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
Puffer: Well, who the fuck-
Chairman: LANGUAGE, ANGELA.
Puffer: Ah, sorry Bill.
Puffer: Whom the fuck-
Chairman: When life get tough, I like to look at this photograph of all the actors that I keep in my pocket.
Throttle: Aw, that's surprisingly swe-
Chairman: It reminds me that if I can deal with those dumbasses on a daily basis, I can deal with anything.
Throttle: There it is.
Helena: That's ridiculous! Rosa doesn't have a crush on me.
Neville: Yes she does.
Puffer: Yes she does.
Rosa: Yes I do.
Helena: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!
Helena: I’ve killed someone, I'd do it again, and I'm not lactose intolerant.
Drood, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.
Rosa: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.
Chairman: Janet, keep an eye on Alice today. She's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Janet Conover: Sure, I'd love to see Alice getting punched.
Chairman: Try again.
Janet, sighing: I will try to stop Alice from getting punched.
Drood, at the top of a ladder: I'm scared, Jack!
Jasper, holding out his arms: Do you trust me, Ned?
Drood: Yes!
Drood: *hits the ground, hard*
Jasper: Rule #1, never trust anybody.
Bazzard: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted posters make it look.
Crisparkle: Impossible burger? Please.
Crisparkle: Through Christ, all things are possible.
Chairman: Alright, listen up you little shits.
Chairman: Not you, Mr. Throttle. You're an angel and we're thrilled you're here.
Clive Paget, with his leg stuck in a chair: Now, you may be asking, "How did you do this to yourself, Mr. Paget?"
Clive: Well, kids, Mr. Paget hasn't got a damn clue either.
Durdles: *Pulls a glass of wine from out of nowhere*
Deputy: Where did you get that?
Durdles: My pocket.
Deputy: How do you keep of glass of wine in your pocket?
Durdles: Skills.
Jasper: Am I going too far?
Rosa: No, no, no. You went too far about two years ago. Now you're going to prison.
