I found this comic panel on Pinterest and am desperately trying to find the original artist. Does anybody recognize it? (This is the scene where Pearl poofs blue Pearl, but Steven doesn’t know blue pearl will be ok)
It was a testament to how very intense the last few months had been, that when Dad asked Steven over breakfast one morning what he’d like for his birthday this year, Steven stared at him blankly for a moment. “Kinda planning ahead, huh?”
“I would not say so,” said Pearl, glancing up from a drill diagram. She projected a hologram calendar from her gem, an upcoming date highlighted in a brighter blue. “It’s next week.”
“Oh! Wow! I guess it is…” said Steven, blinking at it.
“Yep! So what are you thinking, Sthuball?”
And his answer was simple: a party.
Initially he’d said he wanted to have ALL his Korean friends over so he could meet his friends in Beach City. But Greg had gently nixed that, saying that bringing a whole host of animals from another ecosystem had the potential to go very wrong. Steven had eventually conceded the point, and instead had a small picnic a few days earlier with Nari and all the others in the woods where he’d lived not even six months ago.
But on his actual birthday, he had a full proper party in the Palanquin. Just like the ones on TV. There were balloons and streamers and music, but more than that, there were people. Pearl and Lapis and Dad were there, of course, and Connie too- but all the other Gems had come as well. And Dad must’ve said something to them, because they’d brought gifts.
“Well of course we did!” said Rose with a musical laugh. “We want to celebrate such a vital human milestone properly.”
“Eh, speak for yourself,” said Amethyst. “I mostly want cake.”
It was a little awkward sitting on the floor surrounded by so many presents, with all the Gems watching him and making comments. He knew from TV that it was common practice but, most of his birthdays before this had only concerned himself, Dad, and Pearl. Having all these eyes on him made him feel nervous. But, despite that, couldn’t shake his giddy excitement. He’d never seen so many gifts before!
There was a cool, beach ready bicycle from Dad, and a beautiful shining seashell from Lapis. He tried not to frown when he opened the carefully wrapped gift from Pearl only to find a bunch of boring socks and underwear… but perked up when he found a set of ink pens tucked beneath. Just as neatly wrapped was a helmet from Ssaem (she said “to protect your fragile skull in combat”, which was quite sweet coming from her). Garnet had gotten him a pair of dark sunglasses, saying that it would help block out distractions when using his Sight; mostly Steven thought they made him look super cool.
Peridot had apparently caught wind of the gift-giving tradition as well, and after saluting, had handed him “a token which the human species reveres above all else”- $500 in bills. Dad had had to pull her aside to figure out where she’d gotten it, and Steven was pretty sure he wouldn’t get to keep the money, but it was the thought that counted.
Amethyst’s gift hadn’t been so much wrapped as stuffed hastily inside a paper bag but inside was a rock- one beautifully decorated in paint and glitter. “Now we’re even, dude!” Amethyst told him, and Steven loved it.
Rose’s gift wasn’t wrapped at all. It was outside, underneath a tarp. It turned out to be an entire hot tub.
“Woahhhh,” exclaimed Steven, hopping in. It was empty, and not yet hooked up to any pipes, but he could imagine what it would be like with the water warm and bubbling.
“That’s a pretty generous gift,” Dad said, voice warmer than the generally neutral tone he tended to use around Rose. “What made you think of something like this?”
“I’ve always loved hot springs, ever since I was young,” Rose said. She was blushing a little. “We picked this up a few years ago, but weren’t really using it… But I thought you might enjoy it.”
“I definitely will! Thank you, Rose!” Steven beamed at all the guests. “Thank you, everyone!”
After gifts, there were games. Pin the Tail on the Donkey, charades, Twister (no shapeshifting allowed!). A lot of the Gems weren’t really sure how to play them, especially at first, but Connie was good explaining the rules and Dad was super encouraging, and by the end pretty much everyone was enjoying themselves. There was a pinata, too, and it was really cool seeing all the Gems taking turns destroying it (even if there wasn’t much candy left by the end).
They were halfway through the cake (blueberry lemon, Steven’s favourite), when Garnet suddenly froze.
“What’s wrong?” Steven said. “Don’t you like it?”
“It is delicious,” Garnet said, even though she’d only had one bite. “Crystal Gems! We have a mission!”
“Ugh, now?” complained Amethyst, after swallowing her cake, plastic plate, and fork. “Really?”
Really. It turned out that there was an escaping volcano spirit- whatever that meant- and they had to head out, right now.
“I had lots of fun, dude,” Amethyst told him with a quick hug. “I’ll be back later! See ya!”
“Happy Creation Day!” Pearl said, leaping away after her.
“It was wonderful,” agreed Rose. “I’m sorry we have to leave so early.” She kissed him on the cheek like a doting grandma, and then bounded away too.
They could have gone for another round of party games at that point, but six people wasn’t quite enough… and besides, Peridot and Lapis were the two who struggled with the concept the most. So it made sense that Pearl announced that since the party was over, she would go work on the Drill, Lapis tagging along Then Dad said, “Okay, Peridot and I have to go return your ‘gift’ to whoever it actually belongs to. Will y’all be good holding down the fort?”
“Sure thing!” Steven said, doing his best to stifle any disappointment at how his party had fizzled out.
And then they were gone too.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Connie nudged him in the side with her elbow. “We can still have fun!”
And it turned out that she was right.
They settled in to play the video game that had been Connie’s gift: Age of Civilization. “It’s about different empires and stuff throughout history. My parents let me play it because it’s supposedly ‘educational’, but I like it because you get to blow people up with tanks as Cleopatra.”
“Cool!” Steven paused. “Who’s Cleopatra?”
Connie frowned. “You know what? Maybe this will be educational…”
Steven knew barely any of the various world leaders in the game, but he recognised most of the countries thanks to his geography lessons, and it was fun matching them up. Connie had stories to tell about them all and could put on voices that made Steven snort soda up his nose. And it really was fun getting to amass huge armies and take over the world. (Although Steven knew he’d have to gun for the space victory in his next playthrough.)
Eventually they grew bored- and hungry- so they retreated to dine on more cake and chips and pizza. After that, they still had a couple hours before Connie’s parents were due to pick her up. Now too stuffed even for video games, they just flopped down on the carpet in the middle of the room.
“Nice birthday?” Connie asked.
“Nice birthday,” Steven echoed. “I should get older every year.”
Connie laughed at that, which made Steven smile.
Then he sighed a little. “I wish Amethyst could’ve stayed.”
“I do too,” Connie said with an answering sigh. Then there was a pause. “But can I tell you something totally stupid and petty?”
Steven rolled onto his belly to look at her properly. “Always.”
She rubbed her neck. “I’m kinda glad the rest of the Gems left? Which I know sounds super mean and I don’t mean it that way! They can just be kinda…”
“A lot?” Steven suggested.
She nodded, the relief obvious on her face. “Like, don’t get me wrong! They’re also super cool and magical and mysterious! They... can just be really intense and it can be a little exhausting.”
“I feel that way too, sometimes,” Steven admitted. “I always knew Pearl was an alien, but I guess until I met Lapis and all the others, I don’t think I realised how much that meant alien.” He laughed. “Like you said, they’re great, but if I had to explain that ‘meaning’ behind Pin the Tail on the Donkey one more time I might have just burned the blindfold.”
Connie giggled. “Amethyst would have been totally into that!”
The conversation lulled after that, but that was alright. Neither of them were the types who needed to be talking every single second. Connie pulled out her violin, wanting to get in some practice for her upcoming test. Steven grabbed his art book, idly sketching her. It was tricky drawing someone who was always moving, but he relished the challenge as he caught little details- the way her hair fell across her face, how she bit her lip in concentration.
After she finished her third rendition, he said, “You’re really good, y’know?”
Connie’s cheeks flushed a deeper brown. “You really think so? I’m not sure if I’ll ever get that bridge right…”
“I’m sure you will! You’re wonderful! I wish I could play half as well as you.”
“You can play violin? You never mentioned it.”
“Not violin. Well, not anything really.”
Connie laid her instrument across her lap. “What do you mean by ‘not anything really’?”
Steven shrugged. “Dad tried to teach me how to play guitar and ukulele and stuff. I think he might have given me a ‘baby’s first glockenspiel’ or something, too. But it never really stuck.” He wiggled his fingers. “Guess my hands are too stubby.”
“You’re the best artist I know, your hands are not ‘too stubby’,” Connie laughed.
“Okay, then, maybe I just have awful rhythm,” Steven countered with a smirk.
“I don’t believe that,” said Connie. “My music tutor, Mx. Perelo, says that music is just a ‘sonic application of mathematical theory’. You’re great at math, so I’m sure you’ve got that rhythm inside of you.”
Steven perked up a bit at that. “Really? What’s mathematics have to do with music?”
“Think about it. The patterns, the scales, pitch, it’s all math, right?”
Steven hummed, leaning back. He’d never thought about it that way, but it made sense. Maybe he’d have to ask Pearl about it for their next mathematics lesson.
Connie was looking at him, a mischievous gleam in her eye. She tapped her fingers against her violin and asked, “Would you like to try?”
Steven hesitated.
He could still remember his clumsy attempts at music as a kid. The way his fingers stumbled, and the disappointed look in Dad’s eyes when he gave up after missing one too many notes.
But at the same time, Dad wasn’t here right now. So if Steven messed up, he wouldn’t see it.
And anyway, it was Steven’s birthday. So couldn’t he do what he wanted?
“Sure,” Steven said, getting up. “How do we start?”
Connie led him through the basics- how to hold the instrument, where to put his fingers. Only holding the bow was wholling new to him. With her help he was able to produce his first scale. It was halting and scratchy at first, but it gradually picked up speed as he became more comfortable. It still wasn’t exactly good, not by any measure, but elation still bubbled in his chest.
“You’re doing really well! Do you want to try learning a song?” Connie asked.
“Uh. Isn’t that a little advanced?”
“We’ll start with an easy one,” she promised. “Besides, music is a lot easier to figure out if you have a song in your head, you know?”
“I guess…”
“Here, do you know the song ‘La Bomba’?”
They played the song on their phone to re-familiarize themselves with it, and then again, Connie guided Steven through the steps. She crouched behind where he sat, arms wrapped around him to readjust his finger placements as needed. Connie’s intuition had proven correct; the song’s rhythm made for a good guide-rail to follow. The song wasn’t that scary at all, just the same notes he’d learned before, rearranged.
His tempo increased, his notes more fluid. With Steven at the helm and Connie guiding him, they really were playing violin.
The music was beautiful, and it seemed to fill Steven up with light from the inside, enveloping him in a warm glow.
For a few more beautiful moments the music carried on but- something was off. The grip was suddenly wrong, the weight of the violin wrong too. Had it shrunk?
No, no, it was the hands. They were too big. And too light/too dark.
“What?” they said at the clashing thoughts, and their voice was wrong too. “What’s going on?”
They looked around the room. Where was-
Steven? Connie? Two thoughts, at the same time, overlapping.
A mirror! They had to see. They got up- or tried to, stumbling over their too long legs and pitching backwards on the stool. It was a miracle the violin wasn’t crushed. After some experimentation, they pushed themselves up and wobbled towards the mirror.
The reflection there was...big. Taller than Pearl, even. Thick black hair framed the face, which was wearing Connie’s now conically small glasses. A big, prominent nose, kind of like the picture of Cleopatra in Age of Civilizations. Dark skin like the big cherry wood table in Aayaa’s house, but with blue undertones.
A hand reached out to touch the reflection. It was their hand. Both of theirs.
“Woah,” they said, and then, “What is this?” Their voice caught in their throat as they said, “Fusion.”
Like two magnets who’s poles were suddenly reversed, they split apart.
Steven lay on the floor of the Palanquin, forcing air into his lungs. Then he sat up. He looked down at himself to confirm that he was really still him- and then at Connie, to make sure she was really still her.
“Oh. My. Gosh,” she exclaimed. She was smiling, ear to ear. But Steven knew her giddiness, her excitement, not just because of her expression, because he had felt it, shared it. “That was- I can’t believe- Steven, that was amazing, did you know you could do that?”
Head swimming, Steven got to his feet. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words caught in his throat.
Connie’s grin faltered. “... Steven? Are you okay?”
He didn’t know how to answer that. So he didn’t.
He just started running.
------
“Steven!” Connie cried. She ran after him, but he was fast, surprisingly so, and it was dark for an August night, and he knew the terrain of Beach City better than her by now. “Steven! What was that?” she cried again.
There was no answer.
Connie could still feel the aftershocks of her friend’s panic and fear racing through her brain, and that spurred her to chase after him. But she was suddenly blinded by the glare of a car headlights swinging into view. She jumped back at the honk, and was about to rush past it when the window rolled down. “Woah, quite a club house your friend has here,” Dad said. When she didn’t respond or move, he said, “Come on, kiddo, hop in.”
“I ca…” Connie trailed off. What could she say? ‘Sorry, Dad, I can’t, Steven and I just did some really weird magical stuff and became the same person and I scared him and he ran off’?
No, no. Mom was already half terrified that her hanging out in Beach City would get her killed. If she told them what had just happened- whatever that was- she’d never be allowed to see Amethyst or Steven again.
So Connie got into the car.
“So did you have a nice party?”
“Uh huh. We played games.”
“Sounds fun. Hope you didn’t eat too much cake!”
“I didn’t,” Connie lied. She was really glad she was good at lying to her parents.
As Dad drove the car through the hills and out of Beach City limits, Connie tried to catch sight of her friend, but it was no use. Not only was it dark, but her glasses were all wonky, bent out of shape by being squeezed onto a too-small head.
The moments replayed in her head. Her joy at sharing something she loved, something she was good at, with her friend. The warm light. The confusion. The sudden feeling of being bigger, stronger. There had been joy, excitement, wonder, but also shock and alarm. It was hard to tease apart which feelings had been hers and which had been his, now.
She slumped back, staring up at the car’s celeign. How could she fix this, when she didn’t even know what ‘this’ was.
But maybe someone else does.
Fishing her phone out of her pocket, Connie began to type: Amethyst. I need your help.
I have a headcannon that BD!Steven would be the most emotionally stable out of the group just because he would cry the most.
Like, of course everyone knows that you cry when you’re really upset, but have you ever been so mad you cried? So happy? So scared? When you cry due to an emotion it’s because you’re feeling that emotion so strongly and powerfully that it just takes over your whole system.
That’s why you usually feel so calm and at peace after you’ve cried about anything. Cause your emotions have literally burned themselves out. So since BD!Steven is considered to be the most emotional, i don’t think he’d be able to hide his true emotions like regular Steven, making it so that either a) he’s able to work through his emotions better cause he literally cant ignore it, or b) his unloading of emotions help the adults in his life better understand when he is hurting, which makes it so that they can help him more directly
