I waa thinking it'd be really funny if in bad decisions, it accidentally becomes a habit of subarus to sleep with his acquaintances/friends parents but then i got thinking about it, and a lot of them are just not feasible which is sad. Like I was thinking over the camps and
Anastasia camp is done through Ricardo, but outside of that they're unown/unavailable on account of being primarily made of future slaves, or in the case of the juukulius happily married (Joshua's parents were still both alive right? Both of Julius' died but I'm pretty sure he was adopted by a couple). I feel like the Juukulius would also set tbe tone that this is a getback at the Anastasia camp over the beating which could be very funny
Crusch camp. Well it can't be the argyles, it can't be Wilhelm (though his wife is possible if you're up for making a very very very convoluted and probably unethical series of events happen), the Karstens are possible but we don't really know all that much about them, and the variety of knights aligned with the camp just wouldn't have the same oomph
For Priscilla, I could definitely see Yorna being a possibility during vollachia but like outside of that, the aforementioned unethical Theresia there's not a plethora of pickings. Vincent might count as he's related to Priscilla plus Subaru was alreadh all over him, and Priscilla herself might also due to Schult, but not that any options overall
I"ll be honest, can you fucking imagine Rachins if he's the affected party in this? Fail to rob this guy because fucking Reinhard can Astrea shows up, fail again in the capital, the guy goes on to kill the white whale and sin archbishop of sloth, guy claims to kill the great rabbit, save priestella, climbs the pleiades watchtower, and then he fucks your dad who kept calling his royal candidate slurs/your unnamed mother? Can you imagine? Anyway outside of that, happily married, safely assumed dead on account of age, unknown, coma
The Emilia camp is of course, the funniest but also the least likely. There's puck, a fan favorite crackship but something that simply could not happen. Petelgeus dies like right after the ricsrdo thing and theres no way it could occur, fortuns is dead as well so that crosses out Emilia as a whole no matter how much I believe the Sirius=Fortuna thing. Echidna covers many members of the camp and actually can and does(?) occur in Greed if, but if Subaru's not contracting her then it probably won't happen what with her completely transactional view on love (it would be funny though, if Subaru fucked Roswall's wierd Freudian probably groomer. Really living up to that "I want you to be like me" statement). Ram/Rem's parents are dead and they really didn't give a shit about them, but they would both feel insulted/bad over it, especially Rem in this au. She spends months trying to get Subaru to warm up to her, he wanders off to fuck Ricardo, and maybe thats fine yknow its a one night stand. But at some point he fucks her parents? And not her? The girl would be going through it. The Suwens are alive and happily married, which now that I'm thinking about it doesn't preclude them or any aforementioned people, but I don't think Subaru is eager to do homewrecking. I'm pretty sure Petra's parents are enabling her crush so they wouldn't. Meili. Well if you really think about it, getting disemboweled can be a type of sex. Outside of that, bad end Capella is totally possible.
Well those would certainly be some bad decisions— *gets shot*
I mean, you don’t really have to limit it to PARENTS, right? Like. Subaru and Joshua are the same age, so. If we wanna make it an unintentional revenge fic that seems like the obvious choice.
Rachins is hysterical though. Subaru goes and sleeps with the guy who called Emilia a slur. What is the logic there. Nobody knows, Rachins least of all.
Vincent. Hm. That one is actually plausible ngl
