#beanie's thoughts

[hisnameisbeanie]

SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS S2 EP 11

It's so sad to think about this, but in the Apology Tour episode, when Stolas sings All 2 U (Motherfucker), we see how heartbroken he is while he sings about his (perceived) unrequited love.

He thinks he never mattered, and Blitz clearly feels bad about making him feel this way; he doesn't know how to tell him how he feels, and he doesn't want anyone to get close to him because he thinks he ruins everything he touches (as we later see in Ghost Fuckers).

And this was the last time Blitz saw Stolas before their break-up:

And of course he's heartbroken at the thought of Stolas moving on.

He's sure he'll never get the chance to make things right, to apologize, to fix things so they can have some kind of actual relationship.

And then, in Mastermind, when he's sure that he is about to die, Stolas appears.

And he finds out that not only does Stolas still love him, when he was sure he was moving on with someone new, but he loves him enough to literally sacrifice himself to keep Blitz alive.

And you can see Blitz's horrified understanding dawning on him: that there is nothing that he can do to stop this from happening.

He believes that Stolas will die before he can apologize.

He believes he will die without ever knowing that he loves him.

It is clear in this moment that all he can think about is what he believes is happening on the other side of that door.

He believes that Stolas is about to die because of him.

And he doesn't think he's worth it.

[hisnameisbeanie]

Y'all know how we've talked about how we'd like to have a 'Loser, Baby,' call back happen?

What if we get it in the form of Angel - so fucked up on drugs, because he's trying to numb himself out to his reality - hallucinating? Seeing Husk there, hearing him singing their song.

Worse?

What if it's not a hallucination?

[hisnameisbeanie]

I kept thinking about this version of Stolas that we briefly see in Mastermind, and I think I finally figured out what about it was itching my brain. Because besides the obvious change of him looking like a fucking eldritch god here - if I'm not mistaken, this is the only time that we actually see him fly.

And I know that's not a huge thing, because in all fairness, he's never really had a reason to utilize this form, given that he can use magic to open portals.

I just found it kind of interesting to actually see him take flight.

[hisnameisbeanie]

While I know that a really sweet moment follows this, I feel like there's a lot to be said about Blitzø's expression.

Given that he's never been any good at relationships, I can only imagine how messy his mind must feel in this moment. Especially after everything that's happened.

[hisnameisbeanie]

I had another thought pertaining to Mastermind (S2 Ep11).

Because we know that Stolas got banished for the next 100 years, which means he's been stripped of his powers, and his home, and essentially the life he had been living up to this point.

And the last time that Octavia see's him, he's putting his head down, believing that he is about to die.

And as I pointed out in another post, Loona looks so afraid for him:

And since she's just experienced firsthand what it's like to believe that your Dad is about to die, and you not only have to witness it, but you don't have the chance to say a proper goodbye - I'm sure that she's thinking about Via, and wondering if she is seeing the same thing happening now. (I'm sure she also is scared because she's beginning to understand why Stolas is so important to Blitz).

Which leads me to the thought I had. In Seeing Stars (S2 Ep2), when Via stole the grimoire and went up to the living world, Stolas had to go looking for her, with the help of Blitz and the I.M.P. crew.

And Loona snapped a picture for her Sinstagram while she was there, and used #earthshit - which helped her to find Via's posts/account.

Given that she was the one who ended up finding her by following her Sinstagram posts, and that they had a heart-to-heart, and shared an embrace...

I'm now wondering if maybe Loona will reach out to Via through Sinstagram (since she now knows her account name) to let her know that Stolas is alive, and that he's staying with them.

I feel like it would be great to show more of how observational she actually is.

In Ghost Fuckers (S2 Ep10), we saw her taking care of Moxxie. She caught his mathematical mistake, and she then purposely put on a musical episode of Ghost Fuckers when he started having a breakdown, because she knows he's a real theatre kid.

So, clearly, she pays attention to details.

And I would imagine that she would reach out to Via because of this. She knows that the trial was broadcast to all of Hell, and that that means there's a chance that Via saw it too. And since Stolas has been banished, Loona may very well just try to be the link between Father and Daughter; allowing them to communicate through her, to avoid Stella finding out about it.

I don't know, it was just a thought I had, and now I really need Loona to reach out to her should-be sister, to let her know that Stolas is physically okay.

[hisnameisbeanie]

So, someone pointed out that in Mastermind, Stolas says 'mastermindery,' and that they were sure he'd done it intentionally, as a means of showing that it was a performance - because grammar is important to him.

As we see in the episode Oops:

And that makes me wonder if it wasn't just his use of the non-word that was intentional.

Because look who he says it in front of.

[hisnameisbeanie]

Just going to share another Mastermind (S2 Ep11) thought.

Because Stolas literally takes such an incredible form and lands in front of Blitz. (And he only turns away slightly because of the gush of wind his wings create).

And then Stolas approaches him, and goes to cup his face in his hand, and Blitz is looking up at him, and maybe it's the angle, but his pupils look a little dilated here.

But when Stolas finally takes a hold of him, it isn't the familiar gentle kind of touch he would normally use. And I think Blitz is internally wondering if perhaps his owl actually does hate him in this moment, because he hasn't reached the point of sacrificing himself (yet).

Blitz doesn't know what he's doing, he just knows Stolas is looking at him with disdain, and it breaks my heart a little, because this expression is so reminiscent of the one in The Full Moon (S2 Ep8), when Stolas teleports him out of the house after giving him the crystal.

I really hope, given how Mastermind ended, that these two will actually learn to communicate, and maybe have a proper conversation.

[hisnameisbeanie]

*Trigger warning, just in case.*

In every fic I write, I make one of Angel's love languages physical touch - which in turn, makes his job as a porn star very difficult. Not because he's fucking strangers, but rather, because he's being abused in the process. (As we can see in the background shots of Poison).

But tonight, I was doom-scrolling through Pinterest (because I'm tired, and can't focus on shit right now), and saw a couple of drawing references for couples, where one person is touch-starved, while the other is very touchy.

And while my first thought was still, "Yeah, Angel is probably touch-starved for actual gentle affection," my second thought was, "Oh fuck, but what about a touch-starved Husk?"

Because the odds are high that, after losing his soul - and prior to coming to the hotel - he hadn't really had a whole lot of contact with other people (outside of drinking and gambling).

And he's generally pretty reserved - based on what we've seen so far - though it's pretty clear that he's becoming comfortable around Angel (post-Loser, Baby).

So, now I'm having a lot of feelings about a touch-starved Husk, letting his guard down, and realizing that it's okay for him to not only be vulnerable with someone - but to want to be vulnerable with someone.

-

Pinterest posts for anyone curious. *I'm not claiming ownership, and I'm sorry if any of these are not the original posts, I know shit gets reposted on Pinterest a lot.* (I slept for like 3 hours last night, I'm doing my best): Touch-starved references: X and X.

And just additional cute shit that would also be fantastic to see with the two of them?? (found the source for this one!): X (specifically the 4th one).