As someone who seems to understand my level of love and devotion by the way you talk. Or at least understands the craving to be that way in some capacity. How do you move on when they decide they no longer want you? That that mutual obsession apparently faltered on their end at some point. That all that they said ended up being just talk, at least in the end. How do you continue to untangle yourself from all you became for them and with them? I want to force them to see the mistake they made after all the promises and plans made, but I know there's no way to do that. That the person I tied myself to and with so deeply no longer exists, but it's so hard not to want that feeling back of being pressed into their skin and wanting to somehow being even closer. Of knowing together you both are safe and can keep going through anything, as long as they're there. I just feel silly in how I apparently missed it changing. Or well, I didn't miss it. I asked about reassurance and spending time together. I just was told it's not like that and they're too busy. That nothing has changed. Until they decided one day they couldn't do it anymore, that I needed "a chance to be happy." That putting effort in for me wasn't something they could do. It's just a lot to process.
Especially when they tried to keep that door open for themselves in the future. Proposing that maybe someday it will be different, that maybe we can still have "fun". It turned into them wanting the devotion, but not the responsibility. It's cruel to say maybe in the future when there was once mutual love and obsession. A guarantee to move forward however we could and then to shut it down after reassuring me all I was feeling was in my head. That they wouldn't give up, promised the future and then decided it was too hard. Someone who showed me I'm ambiamorous, that I didn't need multiple partners to keep up with my clinginess and need for time spent together. That if one person was dedicated enough, other people weren't so interesting anymore. Until they started slacking and dividing their own attention...
Of course I had agreed, because I would have done anything to help meet their needs. I would have never given up, and that seems to have broke them. Because they would not have done anything for me, at least apparently not. I was the only thing they were willing to let go of.
Anyways sorry if this is too much or too personal. Thank you for the opportunity to at least tell it to someone who I believe understands, even if it's only a fraction. I probably sound super mentally ill and honestly I probably am. But grief does that to a person, I hope everything is going well for you.
First off, that's not too much or too personal. I don't mind being asked for genuine advice.
From everything I've read, I can tell this person means alot to you. The best thing I can recommend will be hard, but do just that. Move on. Pushing down feelings whether its love, devotion, obsession or a mix is one of the hardest things imaginable. It wont be easy, but I think deep down you already know its whats best. The change of character, them putting aside your needs, then offering to have "fun" and want your effort but to not put any back in just shows they're taking advantage of how you feel, no matter how softly they put it. Someone that genuinely wants you, feels for you has no trouble putting in effort, even if they're busy or things are difficult.
I cant say for sure why things changed, but you're right. The chances of them regretting their choice or seeing the mistake are slim to none. So I would advise to focus on your happiness. To spend your time detaching and learning that one day, someone will come along and fully give it back to you. Not just in pieces, but all of it. That person had their chance and fucked it up.
