#beat temptation

[meanpr-ncessxxx]

I am day 2, no vape, after two failed attempts this month! 🤍 can I get a “goooood girl” 😌

[shelyak-blog]

Pleased with myself

Tonight I came home adamant that I was going to make a healthy meal and get some Christmas presents ordered. I made a big vat of chilli, then called my sister about the presents. She was having a tough time, which made me feel bad. All I wanted to do when I put the phone down was eat or drink something to cheer myself up. I knew I wouldn't enjoy it and would feel bad afterwards, but still the urge to stuff myself full of crisps, chocolates and have a drink was really strong. I had another bowl of chilli instead and then a cup of tea an hour later. The craving had passed, and I am now tucked up in bed having gone two days without binging on anything. I really want to make it through a week of being good as I know weight is going back on, and I don't want to slip back into bad habits. I will get there, I just have to find another way to deal with feeling low. It's scary how dependent I've become in the last few months on eating and drinking to make myself feel ok. Only I don't feel ok for long, and often don't enjoy it. I feel like a bit of a freak at times but I guess I can't be the only one who does this. I will find a way to stop - I have to.