WElp….. while i was already in the middle of drafting a post I suppose you sending me this has made it easier. So let me clarify a few things.
First off. I dont give a flying rats behind if someone is trans, transsexual, transgendered and or any other category of gender fluidity, gender neutral, cis, straight, homosexual in addition to all other orientations, states of being that exist in between that I am not aware of at this time ect. People cannot help how they were born, the gender identity they were assigned at birth and the gender they are on the inside and whether or not that matches on the outside. If I take a disliking to someone it is NOT because of how they are physically. That is not something they can control. Hating someone based on that and or disliking someone is a horrid thing to do. I take a disliking to a PERSON based on how they act and their conduct and how they treat other people (rich coming from someone who acted like a blatant arse face). In short. I don’t hate transgenders/transexuals. I don’t dislike transgenders/transexuals. The people i DO dislike (keep in mind its dislike, not hate) i do so because they have either acted horridly to someone I love or another person and or are so narrow minded in their views i dont bother wasting time with their negativity.
Second of all I owe alot of people (both followers and not) a giant ass apology (which again was the one I mentioned I was drafting before you sent me the anon, not that i have any clue who YOU are). My behavior in regards to the issue was abhorrent, beastly and uncalled for not to mention as uncouth as I have ever managed to achieve in my quarter century of life. A spoiled brat had better manners than I did and for all the times Ive given advice of being the bigger person I apparently had a big bloody problem following my own. The first post I made in which I asked if the T-slurr wasn’t originally the word for what was the transmission of the vehicle, was actually a legitimate question I had posted, hoping in the off chance I might get feedback. Google gave me the definition and so I posted it…. spitefully. Considering the fact my irritation over the original argument was already festering what little self control i usually exert went out the window.
Approximately two hundred and eight people (not including those who were of my existence due to the argument thread) saw the gloriously (sarcasm) immature venting of rare assholery that was Sophie mod being an unsavory human being. I am obviously not trans and am fairly new to the issues trans people face. Before coming to tumblr the most i knew about transgenders and transexuals was simply that gendered changes are covered by the Canadian health care system (In Ontario at least) and it was a controversial issue as many didnt see it as a necessary thing. Having some grasp of psychology I did understand that if a creature is unable to express its nature depression is sure to ensue not to mention all forms of potentially self destructive natures. My personal experience can only stem from the few individuals Who I knew in high school who were unable to express who they were as homosexuals in addition to my own non straight nature did not end well. (but thats besides the point). I did not understand the sheer derogatory weight the T slur held. I grew up running around an auto shop and hearing that word spoken was not a foreign thing. To me it held no weight as a condescending slur. As the posts continued and I was unable to articulate myself in which certain bloggers (squeekykins among others) would understand what I was trying to say about the art post which started this all, I became more and more belligerent and low and behold, out goes the usual placid demeanor that is Simone. i KNEW posting things would irritate them. I CHOSE to continue. SO i took the the slur and drove it into the bloody ground by using it in every imaginative way possible. Mind you I personally wasnt AIMING the word at any one, simply that i knew it would inflame Squeeky and that was my goal.
Stupid me, i did not stop to consider that perhaps me tossing about that word so willy nilly might not only get under the skin of others but cause emotional damage. Not a single iota of my brain power was put towards considering the feelings of those who face more bigotry over their gender state of being then I have ever faced. This is atypical of my personality over all and never in all my life have i done this to a person(s) before. The collateral damage was horrid. I regret not acting like an adult and simply dropping the issue when I realized that I would not be able to articulate myself in a way in which squeeky would understand.
I did not. I hurt people, offended even more. I acted like an animal. There is no excuse for what I did and I make non. I acknowledge what i did and I wont hide from that. TO be straight about it: I Sophie mod (simone) am SORRY for the horrific way I acted that hurt those who were basically bystanders. I am sorry that I took a word which was used to slander and degrade transexual and transgendered individuals without second thought or remorse. While I am not a transgender/transexual phobe, how i acted made me as bad as one and I can never undo that. I still dont agree with squeekykins about the artist and the art and their ability to wield words as effectively as a sledge hammer being used to blow glass. I don’t much like them as a person for how they “”“tackle”“” the issue transgendered/transexual individuals in social media/entertainment and I like them even less for their conduct in regards to people I care for over events in the passed. I am sorry they have faced hardships at the hands of those who were and are unable to accept them (squeekykins) for who they are without anger, bias and revulsion. They have every right as anyone else to be able to live without harm from others. Because of my dissagreance with them I will continue to never associate with them.
HOWEVER! Let me make something very VERY clear to you anon and every other person who reads this (not that really anon will have bothered with a text post as large as this. I owe my life to a very small group of people. Not too long ago in the spectrum of months I nearly succumbed to make an attempt at suicide. The details of which are really irrelevant. The ONLY reason I am here today are because of those awesome people, one of which is a transgendered/transexul individual who has shown me more kindness and patience then I have received in a very long time and more than I deserve. Even after my shitty behavior they took the time to relate to me their experience in the state of transition and hardships they faced and issues that are prevalent. THEY ARE A WONDERFUL FUCKING PERSON! They didnt choose to get stuck with a body which didnt reflect who they really were. They are a great and awesome person who just so happens to be trans, and even if they dont think they are great they really bloody are! I owe them (as much as the others) the happiness I have today! Because of them I actually have an interest in making my ignorant ass more educated on the topic that has played a none too small roll in their lives. SO you know what! I AM going to keep blogging positive things about transgenders/transexuals! I WILL support any of my friends who are trans in a way in which it is IMPOSSIBLE NOT to hear me! And whether you like it or not you unsavory cowardly individual who hides behind an anonymous face to send angry messages; I will NEVER cow out to people like YOU Because GUESS WHAT! The transexual/transgender community needs people to support it and vaunt it (!) NOT turn away potential allies!
I am not as soft sophie. I am not clear thinking Sophe. I am a passionate person who will defend anyone being treated unfairly and I lost sight of my compassion, BIG TIME!! I as a human being FUCKED UP! I as a person made a mistake! A wickedly awefull mistake! I was a cruel horrid person! I CHOSE my actions and now i CHOSE to change them. I am not looking to gain back any respect. It is earned and because of my actions I do not look to seek its return. THose who know me for me and what i am like have stayed and because of their patience with me I have learned a lesson the hard way and grown from it. I dont ask for anyone’s forgiveness and there are those whose forgiveness I do not want. You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to support me. I certainly wont lose sleep over that. Ive already lost enough to knowing the damage ive caused and so I am going to make the attempt to keep from acting like an asshole again and fix it.
I dont care about your external make up and physical features. I care whether or not you are a pestilent rotting lump of festering socks soaked in a dogs urine trimmed in fecal matter, used a tool for masturbation. Judgements should be made on if you are a good person, not by your race or affiliations.
So! I am going to tell you what I have told every other person who has told me I can’t do something worth while! WATCH ME!
Now if you don’t mind ive got more important things to do! Life is too short to waste on stupid people!
