#becauseofyou

[tajriiii]

[mellispir]

would just like to say to myself that i wouldn't have made a difference

[childgolden]

"Because of You" - Kelly Clarkson (Cover by First To Eleven)

[everythingsucksbykate]

Because of you.

Did you know how much damage it caused me when you left? I was so young, and you left me there to fend for a world I wasn’t ready for. At the time, I didn’t realize how selfish you were. I did not know how mentally fucked up I would be by the age of 25 because of you. Growing up I was always grateful for the time we spent together. Whether at work watching you with the peers you left me for, or at one of your friends’ homes playing with children whom I’d never met while you kicked back drinks to drown your own guilt. As a child, I saw nothing wrong with anything you did. I saw a mother. I saw someone that I needed in order to survive. In my teen years, you showed me the true definitions of manipulation. I opened every door for you, and you slammed each one in my face. I tried to let you in because I wanted you there. I needed you. Yet I stayed there for you, as your child. My heart was too big to walk away from you, because as your daughter I needed you. I watched you suffer. I watched you cry. I watched you fall apart and break into shattered pieces more than once. For years, you leaned on me, at such a vulnerable age. Eventually, you learned my weaknesses. You started to point out every flaw I confided in you about. You made me feel alone and helpless and then made it seem like you were the only person that could fix my broken heart. One day, I became a mother. My first panic attack was in the hospital after he was born. I held him, and I finally broke from all the years that you’d hurt me. Everything that you had every done to me or said to me, everything that you had put me through, all hit me like a fucking train in that moment. I looked at my son in awe of perfection. I knew how much I loved him instantaneously and I couldn’t imagine how the fuck someone could do to their baby what you did to me all those years. I promised myself that day that I would never become you. I promised I would never put my babies what you put me through. You put more fear in me than I could ever possibly put in myself. I forgive you. Because again, my heart is too big. Someone once told me; you aren’t a bad person you just make bad decisions. I promised myself I would not fall into your footsteps. I will not be the mother that you were. I will not make the same mistakes that you did. My heart can not handle the pain and misery that I watched you endure all those years. My children can not watch me suffer the same way I watched you. I will forever be terrified that I will never be good enough for my boys. I will not push my boundaries in this world out of fear of failure. I will silently cry every night, because I will not let them see how scared I am. I will hide my emotions from them and give them the best mother I can bring out of myself. I live in fear of following your every foot step. They deserve better. I deserved better. Because of you, I will do better.

[nathancatucci]

8 years, and another year around the globe. #becauseofyou @meggieleighc #greece #athens #hydra #acropolis #parthenon #island #sea #beach #sunset #anniversary #fujifilm #xpro1 (at Greece) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cki3QkUMe1M/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[raphaelius2305]

#EveryDay ... #AlwaysMyLuckyDay ... #BecauseOfYou ... #ThankYouLove ... #ReallyGrateful ... (at In My Heart ♥) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjYQ3q8vwffjbURC-5G-y_BYmRCEosp_vrVWdU0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[arlent7]

Tú tan así y yo tan acá 🤣 #platicas #momentos #recuerdos #becauseofyou #pasadocercano #conversatorio #platicación #chevetime #alrevés #confesionación #makingplans https://www.instagram.com/p/CjFCU7zu37cbqQlVkEN6UprxthZUMtOngPmOLc0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[raphaelius2305]

#BecauseOfYou ... #iAmComplete ... #ThankYouLove ... (at In My Heart ♥) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgGi9wAPZQ5HrNxEJa0YsvA00FjIgSLKZ8zHvk0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=