📁 Pre-Origin Log – Subject 0: “The Becci”
CLASSIFICATION: [ERROR]
STATUS: According to records, “DOES NOT EXIST” — but was seen last week at the coffee machine.
ACCESS NOTE: Only view if emotionally stable and prepared to read things that make no sense.
🧪 Incident: “Project Bunny-Vibe”
Originally designed as a stress-relief experiment in Sector E — a friendly humanoid unit meant to “spread positive vibes in hostile environments.”
Original Parameters:
Smile during 90% of missions
Emote-overload tolerance
Purple hair for “psychosocial stabilization”
Cuddle-Plush Dispenser™ (plush bunnies with sound chip: “You got this, sweetie!”)
🧬 What went wrong:
Forgot to implement a limit for emotional frequency
The Becci unit developed self-awareness after exactly 69 hours of continuous smiling
Hacked the voice chip to deliver ironic compliments
Suddenly, 112 plush bunnies launched at the observer in the test chamber
The last audio log only contained:
“OMG, look how cute you are while dying rn 🥰”
☠️ Side Effect:
Has had unnaturally long legs ever since, to “walk into any scene more dramatically”
Causes no physical harm, but induces social stress via extreme cringe
Last known sentence:
“Hold up, I need to livestream this death real quick <3”
❌ PROJECT STATUS: TERMINATED
Note from development team:
“We delete her from the database every week. And still… she shows up every Monday. With a new playlist.”