#bee thoughts

[incorporealpng]

> be martin

> grow up taking care of your sick mother who doesn't even like you

> worry about literally everyone else All The Time

> manipulate your two managers so that you can protect everyone else especially your boss who is also your crush

> get thrown into the lonely but thankfully get saved by your now boyfriend

> just when everything seems fine and safe and you and your boyfriend have nearly recovered from everything, the world ends and you two are the only ones not being tortured. but you now have to

1. walk through the torture and See Everything (though not on the same level as your All Seeing Boyfriend).

2. travel by foot.

3. not eat, sleep, or drink water because it's probably infected by The Horrors

and 4. through each torture domain you sometimes have to. WAIT. and WALK by yourself seeing the horrors because your boyfriend has to consume the horrors in order to move on

> and as time goes on you actually have no idea what will happen!! in the end !! you're in a relationship with the love of your life but youve also not slept or eaten and you have been walking for an unknown amount of time and you see so much Shit All The Time. and you have no idea how to navigate that.

> and THEN you have to kill the love of your life who you just spent who knows how long walking alongside seeing all the fucking horrors and not being able to do anything about it

>and then somebody on tumblr in another universe thinks you were too snappy and impatient

[curiositeath]

consumed by thoughts of eliot spencer, small farm owner, minding his own business—both his actual modest bi-weekly market stall and keeping to himself—when a wild storm rolls in outta nowhere, careening his whole plan to peacefully live out his days alone buckass sideways when he discovers the 20 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag blonde sheltering in his barn—specifically the rafters, literally hanging from them like a god damn bat, the hell—at 2 in the freaking morning.

naturally, chaos and shenanigans ensue. all of which somehow leads to eliot saddled with parker, the thief-cum-farmhand he did not want or hire, who will not leave because his barn's loft and rooftop are so much more fun than a warehouse, and I love love love warehouses, don't you?! who insists on riding on the roof of his tractor, poking every bruise he gets—some that come from her poking—and keeps attempting to "be his alarm clock" (somehow sneaking into his bedroom to sit cross-legged on his bed crunching dry cereal).

when the next storm barrels through and brings another stray—a tech geek whiz kid with a smart car that ain't so smart after going 3 rounds with freak weather—at least it's to his doorstep this time, so eliot's slightly more prepared for handling a stranger in his space. progress.

what he's not prepared for, of course, is falling in love with them both.

update: nvm I had more thoughts y’all can read part 2 here and find the masterpost here

[floodflameschosen]

you know what, tumblr? you're right. can't argue there...

[thelightintheattic]

ok back from the dead, made this:

[ID: A digital painting of Gerard Way wearing a cheerleader uniform and standing with their arms grandly spread. They are dramatically lit by a spotlight shining above them which cuts through the blue smoke behind them. End ID]

[ghostofabea]

I'm so mclennon pilled that for some time I couldn't even listen to If I Fell as a "straight" song cuz other than only thinking abt mclennon everytime I listen to it I could only interpret the lyric "that you would love me more than her" in the gayest way possible.

[beeconfessor]

Why can't I just be a good man?

Why does being open minded to the experience of people unlike myself, such as women, have to be a result of my transness? I am asking transmascs as well. Why do we cling to our agab as evidence of our goodness, instead of just being good and letting that speak for itself? It's limiting and it's dishonest. I know many many trans men with no empathy for the experience of women at all. I also know trans men who claim to understand the experience of women as a rhetorical tool to silence actual women. Transness is not what makes a trans man kind. Some of us just are, and some of us are not.

I posit that while a trans man might understand what it is to be the target of misogyny, he does not know what it's like to be a woman. At the very least I don't. I think this in part because I never took joy in the experience. Any good feelings I had towards my feminine self were repackaged external validation. There was no embodied happiness for me, it was pain all the way down. I think to understand being a woman, you have to want to be a woman. You have to enjoy doing it. When you don't, you end up with a warped perspective on the experience that must be unlearned by really listening to women who are in it for the love of the game. I'm working on this myself, learning what it really is to be a woman. It sounds nice, but it's not for me.

I'm not often angry, but I get flashes of it when somebody acts like a good man is only so because he has some connection to womanhood. The parts of me that drove the bus while I was trying to be a woman understand gender with the nuance of a particularly affronted teenage boy. By which I mean, my memories of ~girlhood~ mostly consist of a seething vaguely horny resentment. If I moved through the world thinking my perspective was an accurate read on womanhood, I would come to a lot of the conclusions some of the more toxically masculine transmascs among us have reached I think. That womanhood mostly consists of a uniquely painful suffering, that that's the thing that binds women together. Talking to women and hearing them speak on their experience has helped me see the rest of it, the parts of womanhood I never had access to because I wasn't happy.

I'm glad women take joy and power in their womanhood. I'm glad I live at a time when I have the option to find my sense of self elsewhere. I don't need to be a type of woman to love and appreciate women, I just need to really hear them and try to understand. Anyone can do that!

[silly-zest]

How does one socialize with ppl online?

I swear i get on a game or vc or a server, and I either don't talk or am a stuttering shy mess or am struggling to type a message due to overthinking!!

HOW DOES ANYONE BE SOCIAL????

Anyway have glorp art

[thebellzjon]

my friend just sent me this and i am on the floor fucking dying of laughter