#beelz lyfe

[awfulheart]

I typically spread out as wide as I can. I can expand like a jellyfish; it is a particular advantage of the very fat. I conform to the shape of my container like a water balloon. Displaying maximum width, I’ll eat anything I can get my hands on while they talk. On one notable occasion I shut down a discussion on the evils of white rice by calmly eating a trick-or-treating sized bag of mini Snickers while nodding my fat head to show I understood.

Meg Elison

[awfulheart]

In Totally Unrelated News, Whatever Happened to Jen from Human Resources?

Lady accountant: I'm getting fat!

French accountant: Fat?! What are you talking about?! I could eat you and no one would notice! (awkward silence) Actually, pretend I didn't say that.

[awfulheart]

I'm willing to forgo the how's and the why's and simply remind you KFC runs out of chicken - the terrorist win. And by terrorist, I of course mean vegans.

[awfulheart]

(702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

(636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

[awfulheart]

Fame on the wireless as far as it goes Is all very well, but every girl knows She needs a man she can monopolize With fingers in dozens of different pies-

Evita

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Day in, Day out, I hunger and I stuggle

Sappho

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