Letter to Samee
Hey there sweet Samee,
First things first. If you ever say that I'm not manly again, I will never talk to you. Also. It does not make me unmanly to be open about my emotions. It's not my fault you're more emotionally constipated than an alcoholic running from a murderous life as a super spy. (Idk why I'm stuck on spies tonight. Maybe I just need to watch 007.) It allows me to deal with things, that you are unable to do. I'm a lot healthier emotionally than you, so, please. Don't insult me like that. Too many people buy into the typical, incorrect thought that guys should be closeted with their emotions. Turned off from the outside world. Seriously. It does not make me a girl just because I'm flippin honest. Like when I say you're beautiful. Other guys have an alternative motive. They want to get into your pants and sleep with you. You would have no idea about that though, because they are so hidden from you. I'm open about everything. I called you, incredibly upset about a huge fight with my dad. When I say huge, I mean that there are things that I haven't talked to about with him EVER that got brought up. That he's a horrible father, that our family is broken and not even a family (I've seen love in a home, especially yours. It's missing here). We talked about the divorce, about his new girlfriend, about scripture and his blatant disregard for what is in black and white. I have no respect for a man who will look at scripture and just ignore what is there just because he doesn't like it. I was really upset about that. Honestly, that was a big deal that you threw that into my face. I was really putting myself on a line and trusting you, and you burned me. So, thanks for that. I was going to miss you a lot, but that made this trip quite a bit easier. I might be being a bit dramatic, and I probably am because I'm still upset about that fight. When I say we fought, you have to understand that in this house, we don't. In yours, you do a lot, (and btw, I've always been there for you when you were upset. Way to drop the ball.) but in mine we don't. We never fight, and we hardly ever even disagree because Dad is so controlling. We are barely even able to have an opinion of our own. So yeah, I understand what you're going through when they are that controlling with you.
Now that I've expressed that part of the spectrum in my letter, I can move on. I look forward to seeing you at training, and all the possibilities that presents. I hope you are able to open your eyes and see me for who I am again. You saw it once, you can do it again. I pray that your heart can be opened, and that potentiality will come to fruition. But I'm not holding my breath.
OH! The movie was fun. Not sure if it was the first time I've seen it, but it was good.
Your 'Sparky',
Joshua