#being overly sensitive

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

I’ve been a terrible wife. Horrible. Just horrible. I’ve deserved all the reaping that’s been dished out to me. I knew always what I was doing and I did it anyway. I was full of shame and disgust with myself and feeling guilty about even existing. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror...all I saw was hate.

[sunshine-n-fuckingrainbows-blog]

Perpetually confused as to why I'm always asked to justify myself? Exhibit a: using bright color in my art, but the person who uses muted color isn't questioned? Exhibit b: not eating meat, but the person who does isn't questioned? Exhibit c: my unnatural hair is questioned at work, but ppl with visible tattoos are left alone? Am I that interesting that everyone needs to probe me or am I just easy to pick on

[coeur-d-artichaut]

Havent cried in a public bathroom in a while.... Cant say I missed it...

[jbluphin]

Personal rantings and mopings over nothingness

Welp. Maybe I shouldn't have sent a link of my fanfiction to my boyfriend. Apparently my smutty Johnlock serial killer story "wasn't to his taste." And he didn't seem to get the fact that the description was kind of the point of writing it. "You should have just ended it there" (right before the murdery smutty bits start) "and leave it to the readers imagination," "I wanted more subtly on that part," and a few other choice phrases. (OTHER people seemed to like it fine. So there.)

Not a huge surprise that he's not into Johnlock smut, but still, I was proud of it. I'm sure HIS online activities aren't all to MY taste either. No need to sound so... judgy. Bleh.

He's seriously great, usually, but since I tend to value his opinion it stung a little. 

I probably shouldn't have snapped about how much less of such things I would read if I actually saw him more often, though... I'm a bit sensitive to that fact right now since he's moving over seas for three years in a mere two weeks and I'm not looking forwards to being even LONGER distance. But perhaps I over-shared. I do tend to do that with people, but he usually doesn't care....

[playinginquicksand]

At this moment I just want to be left alone and not reminded of the fact I have no friends no matter how good the intension is. This is the 4th time this week it's been brought up. If I'm not coming to you and bringing it up and not being seen breaking down or something then don't fucking bring it up god dammit. If the issue needs to be addressed then I will freaking address it!!