The terrible thing about adulthood is it makes you assume that you have to be fully composed and have your marbles together 24/7.
And even when you don’t have your stuff together you’re supposed to pretend that you do or else you are viewed as weak/crazy by your peers.
I’m sorry I can’t be strong all the time.
I’m sorry that I’m pathetic when I get sad when I feel like my feelings just got shit on.
I know it seems so trivial through an outsider’s perspective, but aren’t I allowed to feel? and to be upset?
Sometimes I constantly fight myself about this subject over and over again and I never can figure it out.
But I do always go back to the notion that no, I am not allowed to be upset.
I always struggle to hide how I feel because it bleeds through me every single time, but I beat myself up every time I do let out my feelings.
It’s a damn inner struggle for me.
Do I hide how I feel and get a pat on the back for being normal and not being batshit crazy emotional? Or do I let go of how I feel and feel better, but also have everyone place their own personal judgment on me? Sometimes I just don’t know where to turn to when I feel this sad.
