Being Liked
I really do not think that anyone will know me as deeply as I know myself. And yeah, that seems super full of myself for saying it. But we as people often end up curating versions of people in our heads, ones that are entirely based on our own perceptions, views and beliefs of what or how they act. Have you ever been put in a position where you just did not like someone at all? There was no reason behind it, but mainly it was just a feeling that needed to be surfaced.
Sometimes it's for a good cause, like your intuition trying to protect itself, and other times, the reason just is not known to you. The point is, you can not be everyone's cup of tea. You can't be an endless bucket that keeps pouring into people, either. Find people who love you for who you are and not some version they made up of you in their head.
I've lived on a bias for years, feeling as though I need to constantly be perfect for everyone, otherwise I have not earned the right to be in this skin to have feelings. And truly, that's just something I grew up with. If you were not perfect, you were punished. And ever since, it had been instilled in my head that being liked by people, all people, had to be acceptable in order to live in today's world.
Punishments taught me that the only way to forgive myself after a mistake or bad interaction is to feel pain. I sometimes want to be hurt because if being hurt means forgetting and moving past it, then it means I can be okay again.
