#beingmessy

[imdarsh001-blog]

I wish my parents to get d damn #Bharat #Ratna to control me at dis tym of my Lyf!! 😂 #mini#me #nofilters #consistency in #beingmessy

[chicaenthemoon-blog]

I'm one of those unfortunate people who, for whatever reason, thinks they need more stuff to be neat. I know it's a lie. I know that having 10 storage cubbies won't keep me from piling up stuff on my desk. As I discussed in 4-ish entries ago, I can't get myself to put things back where I find them (You know, that basic skill you learned when you were a kid. Nope, never really learned it. Maybe I half-learned it.). Anyway, I really want just something that I think I can put stuff in. But by now, I guess I've talked myself out of it. I'll never actually use it. It'll just be more junk.

Although in all honesty, I guess my room isn't that messy. I've just got some lazy OCD or something. "AHH! It's not neat!!!" and then two seconds later, "eh, fuck it." Literally. You just saw that happen. Wow. 

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I just have TOO MUCH stuff because I think I'll use it and then don't. In the past hour, I thought that maybe I needed a bean bag to sit on specifically for reading. For some reason, I can't sit on my bed and read, but I can sit on my laptop for hours and stare mindlessly at Facebook (WHY). (Also, why is it "Facebook" and not "FaceBook"?) I do not need a reading  bean bag. Someone tell me I don't need it. I could just go downstairs and sit in one of the chairs in the living room that no one sits in and read there (but honestly, I doubt I would get any reading done there. There's a reason no one sits in there. Those chairs are stiff as rocks.)

So when I decided to try to read in the bathtub, I realized, "Hmm, I do a lot of thinking here (which didn't help my reading goals at all), maybe if I had a place to put my laptop, I would do a lot more blogging..." Honestly, I kind of think I would since I used to keep a journal and write in it while taking baths (LOL LOOK AT ME NOW). Also, that journal should be much more waterlogged than it is, not just because I wrote in it during the bath but because there are just some horrible things written in there. Good thing it's hidden away in a Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans box. mmm.

But really, I'm not going to buy that. I'm going to buy those red keds on the internet for $5.50 from Forever21. I was going to invest in some new toms, and then I found some just crazy shoes, and then... I saw THESE

And okay, I just really want them. Don't judge me for my wants. They're $5.50. Jesus.

Okay, so maybe I am subconsciously overly aware about my wants and messiness due to my minimalist (but loving D:) mother and father who neither need nor want anything. Everything is always clean, and my room is just a sore thumb in their land of neat-ness. My brother is neat too. Maybe I really am adopted.