#beingsadisrad

[beautyinthe-breakdown]

So, I’m sitting here in one of the beautiful places in the world just wondering how it would feel to slip on these rocks and just fall into the water to never see daylight again...

[beingsadisrad]

so we bleach to stay clean I am not a ghost, I think, are you? if we were visible, I wouldn't know a year spent chasing a different kind of abuse has left my snail, pencil legs worn, fragile ankles known to stumble stupid into furniture and friends cos everything loved, i circle over to coat in a luminescent ooze. spewing bile from the pit of us, shit piss from black veins and salivate, love you into pieces i can chew but yack at the taste of yr mother’s dimples, shards of red they’re not there, standing in the doorway as if to say

“there’s place for you inside, but leave those pungent hopes, fears they linger in cracking basement window panes and central air”

[beingsadisrad]

perfectlynormal fucktivity

from dreams that aren’t scary]

[beingsadisrad]

i’d call you by yr name if it meant something to me, i’d call you a person but yr just cold meat (repetition)

i don’t need yr coupons for fucks they’re already cheap another perfect princess with a veil of humanity hard-pressed on a facade to impress boys like me

the same one that 3 months from now will have me screaming from the passenger seat of yr Jeep in euphoric epiphanies while you try to keep the wheel steady

[beingsadisrad]

we don’t talk how do hands communicate spewing sentences from lives long set apart not exactly friends just shit neighbors with too much to say

[beingsadisrad]

today marks 1 year of things, thanks for sticking around.

[beingsadisrad]

no more happy days

no i am not content with just being

i am not alright with just knowing yr alive with just hoping for warmer nights i want to feel butterflies clawing their way out of me with robotic limbs as i once did laying with you on that trampoline

i am not what i hoped i’d become constantly feigning progress the way that brittle autumn leaves crumble under stronger feet willingly haunted

[beingsadisrad]

A poem for 3:45AM 12/29/12 I’m not tired, why sleep leave me alone forehead swells, I’m done talking let me sleep before I unravel unload unwind implode clusterfuck debri, grey eyes a lion without teeth a tree without leaves a moth without wings void of direction, nothing leave me alone throw your voice, mountain echoes pictures piling, pity poor my green eyes, mistaken perpetually I hate to see you happy leave me alone but don’t leave

~