Discover Top Posts Tagged with #bekindertoyourself

Another way I’m trying to get over that single second.

I hate you, second.

How do you decide who you want to be? No, I don’t mean if you want to become a dentist or an artist. How do you decide if you want to be strong? If you want to cry? If you want to give up or if you want to be in control?

You wonder, how did I end up here? In a cramped hospital waiting room, a sixteen year old hugging your stomach begging you to make the pain go away. I guess in a moment as such, you have no time to decide who you want to be.

Everything went silent when I heard the doctor call out the time of death and it was merely the screams of my little brother that brought the world into focus again. It was that single second of silence that followed “Time of death, 6:38 am” that changed my life. There was me before that second, and me after that second. A me that I still don’t recognize almost three years later.

I always wonder why I did not give myself the right to cry. Why was I not strong enough to push everyone away and cry for her. To let myself feel the pain I deserved to feel in that moment. Was it fair for me to render my feelings of grief, agony and heartbreak as inconsequential simply because I grew up being told that I am strong and an inspiration?

Or did I do it for the little boy hugging me so tight, with hands that told me that I am all he has left. That he needs me. In a cramped hospital room flooded with tears and screams of a little boy who just lost his mother, I decided there was no capacity for any of my tears.

Every single moment I spend in silence brings me back to that single second. That one stubborn second can recapitulate for hours, days and even weeks during which the world disperses into nothing but a background image. Still.

There is something malignant about a split second during which your entire life changes. The second passes and you’re left living the rest of your days wondering if the choices you made were the right ones. If you were fair to yourself and how you’re meant to move past a single second that changed every single second you need to live through for the rest of time.

#bekindertoyourself

This!! THIS IS HOW TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING! THIS IS HOW I TRIED TO WORK IT OUT WITH RENA! BUT NO MORGAN AND OTHERS TREATED ME LIKE SHIT EVEN THOUGH WE APOLOGISED! BIG BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO @writersplus FOR BEING A DECENT HUMAN BEING AND APOLOGISING. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AND WE ARE ONLY HUMAN. I look forward to continue working with @writersplus and the team. I'm so so happy that we ARE friends again. #itsokaytomakemistakes #alwayssaysorryifyouarewrong #sorryisnthardtosay #bekindtoyourselfandothers💕 #bekindertoyourself https://www.instagram.com/p/CPEG-28rY3N/?utm_medium=tumblr

#itsokaytomakemistakes #alwayssaysorryifyouarewrong #sorryisnthardtosay #bekindtoyourselfandothers💕#bekindertoyourself

To these people you know who you are.. We haven't known EACH other very long but you taught me what I've always known.. Kindness costs nothing. Arguments happen not everybody is gonna agree but I always calm down and apologise and try to come to a better solution. Asking me to stop voicing my opinion is like stripping away something of themselves just to please others. I'm sorry I'll probably lose followers over this but If you don't like it unfollow me I can do better than you guys. There's me trying to help you get your books out there and you do this.. I'm usually a reasonable person. I don't deserve to be attacked . BEING kind costs nothing and listening to two sides to every story costs nothing either. This is how to be a decent human being and these people know nothing about that. #bekindtoyourselfandothers💕 #bekindertoyourself #beingkindcostsnothing #freespeachmatters #friendsdontletfriendsbully #friendsdontlie #friendsdontletfriendsfightalone https://www.instagram.com/p/CPD1rL_rTRP/?utm_medium=tumblr

#bekindtoyourselfandothers💕#bekindertoyourself #beingkindcostsnothing #freespeachmatters #friendsdontletfriendsbully #friendsdontlie #friendsdontletfriendsfightalone