Discover Top Posts Tagged with #bel logs

six faceless photos tagged by @selkieofthesouth

(tagging @sallycinnamons @laughter-remembered @lightfe11ow @22slices @narrativeenjoyer69 @patrocles @dykethingy @hisjimct @mightylaaitie @saltoncity @oldbutchdanielmolloy and everyone else who wants to do it)

#bottom line is a need to take more pictures #bellica #bel logs #went a little overboard with the tagging feel free to not do it!!!!#blame the vyvanse that just hit

gonna cleanse my palate with a film depicting only the highest most renowned culture and tradition of the most honourable sport of all: green street hooligans

#nothing beats frodo boy going Through It and deciding being charlie hunnam’s pixie dream girl is the best solution to all #*to all his problems #STOP SAYING FUCKING SOCCER while u’ve got his leg pulled up in the middle of the street 😍#bellica #bel logs

sometimes I do still miss having him in my life - being who we were together and mostly everything we couldn’t live and the person he never really grew into after all. but then I randomly see a picture of the same six people I used to go out with almost a decade ago - the same three straight couples still hanging out and still looking like nothing’s changed in them, same status quo - I look at him and who he seems to have become now and I get creepy goosebumps. That is not the same guy. I have no desire to be around the guy in the picture, around none of these people.

a year after we had what I now know was our last joy-ride, a big farewell getting absolutely pissing drunk and faded with his work buddies in the middle of the week, closing-out-the-bar might-piss-myself-on-public-transport levels, around four years ago, some six months after we’d seen each other last, I just unfollowed and softblocked them mostly everywhere for my own piece of mind specially after the heartfelt bday message I’d sent him went unanswered (it was kind of our thing, only saying things out loud on our birthdays, allowing each other to voice all that we’d usually compact into long hugs and hand-held silences).

I think I will forever miss the 20yo version of ourselves, tho. And all the other universes and stories we could have lived. I know in another timeline I could have fallen in love with him and maybe never realised I was a lesbian. I like to believe that there’s another where we’re non monogamous queer guys having a secret third thing together. Maybe somewhere we’re teachers and roommates, our most absolutely obnoxious version. this one I’m choosing to keep the memories and the songs and the football games and the sunrise we saw walking back home together that one cold saturday after almost no sleep. the long lost video of me tickling him until he cried and fell to the floor from laughing. the curaçao blue bottle we drank together and all the chelsea matches. I’m keeping all the ways we’ve changed and affected each other.

the blistering hot summer afternoon spent under my parent’s ceiling fan after a failed session of phantom menace with too many space cakes. all the walks on the beach sharing beers, blunts, secrets and cigarettes. all the warm bony hugs and how much and how natural it was for us to be touchy and caring with each other. getting tequila-obliterated together and the disgusting and delicious concoction we came up with mixing whisky and condensed milk. all the movie nights, all the songs, all the school projects and cheating on tests we did together. all the books and the stories and the tales we shared. all the drinks and the laughs and the fights and discussions we could get into. all the teasing and the poking and listening we gave to each other.

I’ll never stop telling people about how I met one of my best friends by going up to him while he read Eragon and point blank asking him if he knew that people wrote fanfiction about the main character fucking his cousin. it worked, once. and it was bright and loud and beautiful while it existed.

have yourself a glass of our own drink for me, man. blood of angry man, red comrade - I’ll be having one for you today as well. cheers.

#bellica #wordscramble #bel logs #good night good morning it’s half past six I was just supposed to complain about something inane and have been writing for almost two hours #have this #it’s dear and warm in my heart rn #mercury retrograde with the gemine Neptune making me relive so many lives unearth so many memories #the fucking tequila night oh man

honestly tho nothing more english than the power of the incest getting them through the wc

#bel logs

guys wait hang on - let’s wait until the race is over pretty please my queen lewis is stressing me out enough

#this fucking race #this fucking track giving me a migraine #bel logs #hot wheels lb

we have reached the point in the night where my reaction to every post is just omggggggggggg shut uuuuuuuuup in the most annoying white girl voice :/

#might be bed time ?#bellica #bel logs

♪!!

I was going to cheat a little but decided to be honest and here’s what Apple Music got you:

The Cure - Untitled (Live 1989)

Disintegration is one of my favourite The Cure albums but I haven’t listened to it for a long time, mainly because my first deep dive into their discography was very much influenced by my toxic codependent homoerotic ex-bff/gf. anyways funny that now looking back at the lyrics it’s very fitting to what I was going through

Favorite Lyric: “Hopelessly fighting the devil futility / Feeling the monster climb deeper inside of me / Feeling him gnawing my heart away hungrily”

I love that in the first line futility feels like it should have been suffixed differently but still- if you get the feeling then it makes sense, doesn’t it? And honestly, any and all imagery of being/feeling monstrous and it eating you up from the inside are always automatic favourites of mine, specially with the use of gnawing (!!!), which is like top ten verbs in english for me both for meaning and pronunciation.

#bellica #bel logs #music asks #this was actually a lot of fun???? thank u sm for asking #maybe finally a type of ask I wouldn’t struggle to get to? huh #pleases and thank yous

haven’t been able to poop in over three days. have loads of tests and writings to finish correcting by monday morning. currently spending the weekend at my parents looking after my dying cat and it’s so dire that she hasn’t slept or blinked in almost two days, even feeding her from a syringe isn’t working anymore and most times I have to actively put my hand on her belly to check whether she’s still breathing. my low-key seasonal depression just turned the dial waaaay up.

#bellica #bel logs #tmi