#benjamin croshaw

[histeph-blog1]

Oh the porridge wall has gone all disco on me.

Benjamin (Yahtzee) Croshaw

[mostleemorethansmut]

I wish I could get through one day of my life without asking this question, but; What the fuck am I doing here?

Benjamin Yahtzee Croshaw

[mostleemorethansmut]

I don't really have a good time when strap-ons are involved.

Yahtzee Benjamin Croshaw

[mostleemorethansmut]

We live in an age where mass communication has counter-intuitively turned all attempts at verbal debate into a basketball game where teams are on different courts and stand around the basket racking up meaningless points and throwing shit over the dividing wall

Benjamin Yatzee Croshaw

[mostleemorethansmut]

God forbid someone try too hard! God forbid they insert a little passion into the things they do. Forcibly, if necessary; spraying their passion all around the inside of- Sorry, that got weird on me.

Yahtzee Croshaw

[mostleemorethansmut]

Yahtzee: Can't say you've sold me on it so far. If I want to kill 300 of something, I could just go play Painkiller. Or put a load of baby chicks into an industrial meat grinder.

Vee: Mmm... Could do that. Or you could just go work at McDonald's and do the same thing

[mostleemorethansmut]

Anatomy or Immersion

Yahtzee: Oh, got you right in the bullocks right there.

Yahtzee's girlfriend: I- I don- I don't have those.

Yahtzee: ...

Yahtzee: You do in game. Immerse yourself for God's sake!

[jackofh3arts-blog]

Jack Reviews Games: "Poacher"

So my personal hero, Benjamin “Yahtzee” Croshaw, released his latest game a few weeks ago. It’s a little side-scroll platformer called Poacher. I began playing it one week ago, and while I’ve found it more difficult than I expected, it’s been very fun indeed. It’s certainly been a refreshing break from modern triple-A gaming.

The premise is thus: you are Derek Badger, a simple man from Yorkshire. You have a wife, a shotgun, and a penchant for shooting rabbits with aforesaid shotgun. The game begins when you are caught poaching rabbits with your trusty 12 gauge on land belonging to one “Mr. Gamey.” However, in the middle of his reprimand, Gamey falls down a whole. You go after him only to be assaulted by demonic bunny rabbits. Then you meet up with a spirit named Rebecca and discover that there exists an entire subterreran world that surface-dwellers aren’t aware of. By forming a “Compact” with Rebecca, you use your gun and new spirit powers to save the world from the evil Dark Ones, all with the stoicism of a true country Englishman.

The gameplay is exceedingly simple: you shoot enemies with your shotgun. Oh, and movement is also necessary, but I’m pretty sure you had that figured out. There’s also grenades to throw, but that’s pretty much it. I kind of assumed that there would be other weapons or shotgun upgrades galore, but no, you’re just a man with a gun. You do, of course, unlock new abilities that allow you to access new areas, and the game is revealed to be a Metroidvania style platformer that lets you explore the world.

And what a world it is! The different areas and monsters are very diverse and well designed, and all change really well to fit your evolving abilities. However, I’m currently stuck in the Spyrite Mines unable to find a way through...