Discover Top Posts Tagged with #bernietb

bernietb replied to your post: Persuade me

#TeamCLIEV because Australia needs more animatronic dinosaur golf course theme parks and titanic replicas and you know full well how awesome that sounds.

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Bernie stahp.

#bernietb

bernietb replied to your post: bernietb replied to your post: I am...

Balls. Oh well, best hit the road and find the cheapest same/similar stuff you can. If you can arrange it all before your lease is up, they should be OK with that.

Well I'm hitting the internet. I did get a guy in to quote me, months ago, and he's looking into it for me now. I'm holding out hope he'll tell me he can do it all next week.

This is all because I'm pretty dumb most of the time.

#bernietb

bernietb replied to your post: I am stupid

Shouldn’t that come out of your bond? (I am not a rental expert)

We talked about that a year ago. I said I'd be happy to cover the cost and make the arrangements. If I go back to them with less than two weeks notice and tell them "oop, changed my mind" they'll be very unhappy and I'm over having landlords who hate me.

#bernietb

Things Grand Theft Auto taught me about the world

Matthew Hatton No one showers or uses the toilet. In fact, there are no toilets. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan There are no children or schools in New York, Miami or California. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton New York City randomly changes its entire geography every few years. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan & Matthew Hatton Everybody who is not a mobster or crooked cop is limited to only ever saying 4 or 5 sentences. (And has one of only half a dozen voices) Matthew Bevan Prior to 2001, all roads ran either East-West or North-South. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Half constructed buildings are never finished. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton No ever goes to the beach #gtafacts Wolfie Rankin Milo is just ground up Milo nuts #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Shooting a rocket-propelled grenade into a glass building will cause no damage whatsoever. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan All women over the age of 50 carry walking sticks and all women under 25 wear bikinis. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton The slightest bump will cause a street light to fall over. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan All stairs and gable roofs are angled perfectly to jump a motorcycle onto the next building. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Your home garage can repair your car the instant you turn your back. #gtafacts Wolfie Rankin The first pair of shoes that you try on in a shoe shop will always fit #gtafacts Matthew Hatton 90% of doors are only painted onto walls. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Dialing specific numbers on your phone heals you from bullet wounds, spawns helicopters and supplies you with guns. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan The only cars in town that are locked are ambulances and police cars. And then, only when parked at the station. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton The only food you can buy in New York is hotdogs from a street vendor. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Hospitals can bring you back from the dead. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan If the standard police department can't catch a criminal the army will send in a tank to subdue him. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Trains will arrive the moment you step onto a platform, but you'll never be hit walking through the tunnels. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan If you are arrested after spree killing 50 cops inside a police station you can post bail for $100. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton You can drive from one side of town to the other inside 3 minutes. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton There is only one newspaper in the city, and it has the same front page every day. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Bailing out of a supercar going 160mph onto a bitumen motorway doesn't injure you in any way. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Landing a helicopter on the police box in the middle of Times Square doesn't raise an eyebrow. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Nobody minds if a helicopter flies along main roads at head height. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Nobody seems bothered by two helicopters shooting at each other with rocket launchers above populated areas #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Nobody ever wears seatbelts or locks their car while driving, even though there are dozens of carjackings daily #gtafacts Matthew Hatton The police never notice if someone steals one of their cars. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan New York and Miami routinely shut off all transport between the islands for months at a time. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Every city is on its own island and you cannot see any others from the shoreline. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan There are no churches. Anywhere. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan There is a massive golf course in Miami, but nobody in Florida knows how to play golf. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Everyone bar you is forced to drive to some abysmally slow speed limit. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Vespas are has fast as your typical super car. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan There is an infinite amount of police in New York City. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton People will often moonwalk, at speed, away from an explosion or gunfight. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan The only reason to go to a shop is too buy guns or tools. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton After exploding, cars magically vanish. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan A man can carry a chansaw, katana, assault rifle, sniper rifle, shotgun and rocket launcher in his pockets. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Walking around openly carrying an assault rifle is totally normal. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton A day is only 30 minutes long. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Police cars flip over if they touch fire hydrants, or any other cars. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Life objectives are highlighted by a glowing ring at their location. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Aeroplanes only ever take off, fly one lap around the city, then land again. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Radio stations only have 6 hours of programming that repeat on an infinite loop. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan Up until 2008, crashing into an oncoming car at full speed didn't cause any injuries. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Police don't worry if you're driving down the wrong side of the road at top speed as long as you don't it them. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan If you kill a few random people with a baseball bat, the police don't really care. #gtafacts Matthew Hatton Helicopters are often left in random places, unlocked. #gtafacts Matthew Bevan If you go in any water, you will die instantly. #gtafacts

As contributed by Matthew Hatton (@bernietb), Wolfie Rankin (@Wolfie_Rankin) and me (@MatthewBevan)