#beth caldwell

[carterashsart]

Lady Bethany Caldwell (in ballgown)

-Character in the book I’ll finish revising one day

[carterashofficial]

“You’re distracting me and it’s very irritating.”

Ellie slipped among the crowd, bobbing her head in hello to Lords and Ladies and Barons and Duchess, all while keeping one eye out for Duncan, and another for Vincent. She had drastically different reasons for looking for them.

Anthony had told her that Vincent was looking for her, and so Ellie had taken it upon herself to seek him sooner than later and simply get the unpleasantness over with before the ball went into full swing.

Duncan… that was entirely personal.

She could feel her cheeks getting warm.

Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush.

Ellie rounded a table of towering desserts, and-

“Oh, Ellie, thank the stars you’re here.” Beth Caldwell linked arms with her and proceeded to tug her towards the stairs. “I heard dear Jacob’s back, and I need you to hep me fix my hair so I can look.. oh, what’s the word…” She waved her hand, nearly taking Ellie’s nose off with her rings. “Alluring. From afar. Come on, come on, I need to make sure he sees me!”

Ellie was pulled up the stairs to the balcony overseeing the ballroom. “My Uncle Jacob?”

“Naturally.”

“I- Why him?” She frowned in confusion, tucking her fan away as Beth handed her pins, gesturing to her looser curls.

“You’ve seen him. So tall, so dashing…”

Please, no.

Ellie froze, a pin halfway into Beth’s bun. “I live with him. Believe me, he’s not the sort you want to chase after. He leaves his boots lying everywhere and is rather rude on occasion.”

Beth patted her hair, deeming it satisfactory. “I’ve got my feminine charms to get him into shape. He won’t be leaving his boots in hallways if I’m the one to take them off him.” She flounced along the railing, fan batting her single curl just so and looking down on the ballroom through her eyelashes.

Stars above. You’re not going to get anywhere with him unless you’re made of parchment and a spine and are literally a book.

“Beth, my uncle doesn’t have time for courting-”

“So he thinks-”

“And he’s not looking to be courting anyone-”

“Love usually takes us by surprise-”

“And he most certainly isn’t going to be-” 

Ellie was cut off as Beth whirled, smile plastered on over frigid eyes. “You’re distracting me and it’s very irritating. Go… go dance with someone,” she hissed.

She stepped back and whirled with indignity. Forced indignity, because it was much easier to escape one of Beth’s escapades when she was utterly fed up with her, but Ellie had to keep up appearances regardless. So she left with her chin high and a stiff pace.

“Eleanor.”

Ellie said a particularly foul word and turned to face Vincent. He was lurking along the railing where the candlelight. “You’re rather hard to track down, you know.”

“Sorry for wanting to avoid…” He trailed off, catching sight of Beth over the ballroom. “What in the hell is she doing?”

“Beth has taken a fancy to my Uncle Jacob.”

“Stars watch over him.” Vincent looked completely appalled.

“Exactly.” Ellie tapped her fan on the railing. “So… what did you wish to talk about? Anthony seemed rather adamant that I speak to you. Finally going to apologize with your own words, or did another Master volunteer to teach you how to be nice?”

His glare could’ve frozen a raging bonfire before he finally broke eye contact. Vincent shifted awkwardly. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know how you came into the Guards. Master David told me once he found out what happened.” He was silent for a beat, then looked over at her. “I am sorry.”

There was a pain lurking under his eyes that she couldn’t look at.

“Was that so hard?” she teased back.

His scowl was the answer.

“If it means anything, I’m glad you’re back to your usual irritable self.”

Vincent’s scowl turned sarcastic. “I’m honored it makes you happy, dear Eleanor.” He nodded at Beth, who, from the looks of it, was still trying to catch Jacob’s eye. “What’s her plan?”

Ellie made a face. “I don’t think she’s got one, honestly. I managed to sneak away after telling her that my lovely Uncle is neither wants nor is searching for love. Her response was that love takes people by surprise.”

“I’ve heard it can.”

A flash of gold below caught her eye and she looked down.

Duncan was smiling up at her. He winked when he saw that she’d noticed him.

“Pardon me, Vincent, but there’s a dance I feel I’m about to be offered.” She curtsied politely and turned towards the stairs.

“Ellie.”

She paused. Vincent barely called her by her chosen name, her real name. Always Eleanor, always the fake name, always to get under her skin. She looked over her shoulder at him.

He looked tired in the candlelight. “I… Look, I know tracking can be hard to understand at first. If you want… I… I can help you. So next time you can keep up with us.”

She was almost suspicious of the offer. Vincent… being nice? But then he’d apologized, and he’d been civil towards her since the incident. “Alright. Thank you.”

He held her gaze for heartbeat before looking away, usual glower on his face. “Now go dance with your… whatever he is to you.”

Ellie beamed at him and skipped towards the stairs.

Duncan was waiting at the bottom for her. “Ellie.”

“Duncan.”

Stop blushing, stop blushing.

She took his offered hand. “Might I assume you’re going to lead me to the dance floor?”

“You would be assuming correctly.” He paused at the edge of the crowd, watching the dancers, looking for a gap for them to enter in-

Ellie was spun forward, his hand on her waist and guiding her into the middle of the dance floor. He twirled her around, grinning. “Duncan- Duncan, you’re going to make me dizzy-”

“Oh, I make you lightheaded, Miss Ellie?”

She couldn’t hide her giggles.

Duncan grinned and pulled her close as the song slowed. “I- Stars above, what is my cousin doing now?”

“Beth?” Ellie didn’t dare look up and see what she was currently doing, lest she end up with some very unladylike giggles.

“Yes. She… what in the heavens…” He was failing at hiding a smile.

“Well, you see, Beth has taken a fancy to my Uncle Jacob.”

“Oh dear.”

Ellie nodded sagely. “Exactly. So she’s attempting to catch his attention to look… her word was alluring.”

His mouth twitched. “That is not remotely near how she looks.” He strode forward, keeping them in time to the music. Her skirts swirled around them, his hand warm in her’s. Ellie found herself trying to hide her laughter when he messed up a move and ended up being the one to spin in place.

You’re the alluring one, Duncan.

[the-shadow-guards]

Garden Party

“If I tell you how nice you look, could you rescue me from someone?”

Ellie gave Anthony a sidelong look over her glass. “Depends.”

He stared out over the garden veranda in uncomfortable fear. “Beth Caldwell.”

Oh, her.

Ellie put her drink down with a look of disgust, and not from the sour lemonade in it. “You don’t even need to ask.”

“Oh thank you. She’s- Ellie, hide me!” Anthony ducked down behind her as best he could, considering he was a whole head taller than her.

Ellie feigned interest in the table of snacks and ignored Beth. Anthony crawled under the tablecloth.

That’s not going to end well.

She had the sudden image in her mind of Anthony spending the rest of his life down there, refusing to come out and surviving off fancy pastries and sour lemonade, spying on everyone from under the table and her being the only one who knew where he was.

“Ellie! Oh, Ellie Temple!” A woman cloaked in heavy perfume and rose pink taffeta linked her arm through hers. “I’ve been dying to speak to you. Did you see Lord Chipson dancing with Lady Hine? Absolutely atrocious. That man shouldn’t be allowed to drink in public.”

The tablecloth hissed in outrage.

“Isn’t this a private garden party?”

Beth waved her hands as of to shoo away Ellie’s words. “You know what I meant. In the public eye of society.” She leaned in to stage whisper. “Speaking of eyes, I’ve had my eye out for Anthony Chipson. The footmen say he arrived with his uncle, but I haven’t seen him.” She peered at Ellie, eyes huge and blinking innocently.

Ellie stared back in vague concern.

“Well?” Beth prompted.

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you going to offer to help me look for him?”

“I could-“

Beth dragged her away from the refreshment table, leaving a trail of heavy perfume in their wake. “Oh, thank you, thank you! I get so nervous around him, and oh, couldn’t you just stare at that face forever? So many freckles and such a handsome nose…”

Ellie toned her out as she caught sight of Beth’s cousin.

He was leaning against the base of a horse topiary, waistcoat unbuttoned and cravat loosened, the breeze teasing his hair.

It looked like he’d walked out of one of Mrs. Temple’s perfect oil paintings.

Duncan Caldwell caught her look and winked.

“Ellie…. Oh, Ellie, ew, no.”

“Hm?” She turned back to Beth and frowned at her sneer. “What?”

“Not you too. Every girl at court fawns over him. Trust me, if you’ve lived with him, you wouldn’t... don’t fancy Duncan.” Beth pulled her into the rose garden, craning her neck and looking for Anthony.

Ellie scoffed. “You fancied my uncle Jacob for a turn. And I gave you the same advice. I lived with him, I told you not to like him that way.”

“That was a passing girlish infatuation,” Beth said loftily. “I am above such things now. Do you think Anthony likes water lilies?”

“I-” Ellie didn’t bother protesting as she was marched down the stone steps towards the Caldwell’s pond.

Few people were milling about, mostly couples stealing kisses under parasols or sneaking through the hedges to find somewhere more private.

Beth herself paid them no attention as she stalked around the pond with Ellie in tow. “He has to be here somewhere, he has to be!” She stopped and Ellie almost walked into her back. “Is that him?” she whispered.

Ellie followed her gaze to a lone figure sitting under a willow tree.

It was definitely not Anthony. In fact, it some was someone that despised Beth nearly as much as Anthony himself, but for very different reasons.

“I think so,” Ellie lied.

“How do I look?” Beth fluffed her skirts and adjusted her hat. “I can’t smell my perfume. Do I need more? And my lipstick? Oh, I knew I should have brought a bigger bag.” She fished a tiny bottle of perfume from her purse and dabbed it onto her neck. “Oh, Ellie, I’m so nervous!” Beth puckered her lips and patted on a liberal amount of vibrant pink balm. “Better? Better. Wish me luck!”

Ellie closed her mouth and ran after Beth. “If you go alone, he’ll know you sought him out.”

“Exactly. He has to know that I’m interested in him. Shoo.” Beth took a deep breath. “If you must spy on me, then do so behind the tree.” She looked down her nose at her. “Please do. I want to know if you think he fancies me back. Just don’t be obvious,” she whispered.

“Of course.” Ellie tip-toed around the pond and signaled for Beth to sneak up on the unsuspecting figure on the bench. She slipped through the willow tendrils and stood silently behind the tree.

A moment later and Beth’s shoes crunched on the dirt.

“Anthony? I feel a bit faint. Might I sit with you so you could be a gentleman and catch me if I fall?”

“No,” spat Vincent. “I won’t catch you.”

“I- You’re here.”

“You did invite my tutor.” Vincent paused. “Lord Masonwell? I am his plus-one.”

“Oh.” Beth’s voice was dripping with disdain. “Mother and I were hoping he’d bring someone… social.”

“Pity. So was I.” Dirt crunched and Ellie found herself facing Vincent. “I see you still enjoy eavesdropping, Eleanor.”

She sighed and joined Beth. “We thought you were Anthony.”

“Obviously. If you’re looking for him, try the refreshment table. And look under it. He will hide from people down there.”

That’s where he is!

Ellie made a face at Vincent and faintly shook her head.

He understood. And made great show of rolling his eyes. “Actually, try the dance floor. Anthony loves to dance.”

“Oh, Ellie come on before my perfume wears off!” Beth snagged her elbow and started off towards the stairs.

“Beth, a moment. I want to talk to Vincent.”

“Why? Nevermind. I’ll see you at the dance floor. And be quick!”

Ellie slowly turned around.

Vincent looked irritated. “Can’t you leave me in peace?”

“Thank you for helping Anthony avoid her.”

He studied her suspicious. “Is he really under the table?”

“Before I got dragged away, yes.”

A faint smile toyed with the edges of his mouth. “Perhaps I will go get a refreshment and see for myself. It’s been a while since he’s done something that stupid.” Vincent pulled the willow vines out of the way for them and walked beside her as they returned to the party. “He once tried to do that at royal ball.”

“Tried?” Ellie didn’t want to ruin their fragile conversation by speaking, but oh, for some good ammunition to use against Anthony next time he brought up the goat incident…

“He couldn’t stop sneezing.” Vincent looked over in alarm at her chuckle. “What?”

“That’s funny.”

He remained silent.

“Vincent?”

He let out a long-suffering sigh. “What, Eleanor?”

“The table is this way.”

“I knew that. I…” He pursed his lips and looked away. “This way is faster.” Vincent took her arm and pulled her around a corner, striding confidently down path lined with obnoxiously white carnations and gardenias. The stench was almost as volatile as Beth’s perfume.

Ellie reclaimed her arm from him. “This is not faster.”

“Yes it is.”

“Fine. I’ll come with you to prove you wrong.”

“I’m not wrong.”

“Want to bet?”

“Fine.” Vincent glowered at her. “If this way is faster, you leave me alone for the rest of this party. If you win, you get to…”

“You have to walk around with a gardenia in your waistcoat’s lapel.”

“A what?”

Ellie plucked one from the nearest bush. “This.”

He gagged. “No, not-”

“Fine, a carnation. You have to wear this for the rest of the day.” Ellie waved it in his face and smiled victoriously when he smacked it away.

“It’s a deal.” Vincent spun on his heel and stalked down the gravel path.

Ellie skipped after him, poking through the flowers for the biggest and brightest carnation. She was going to win this bet. She’d been around the Caldwell’s manor gardens before, when her and Beth had gotten enough of the stuffy tea room and Lady Caldwell’s endless gossip. Vincent was lost and doing a very good job at hiding it.

She picked a carnation and twirled it between her fingers. “I think we would have been at the refreshment table by now. Do you know where you’re going?”

His glare could have melted the last of the winter snow on the mountains. “No.”

“Then why come down this path?”

Vincent’s jaw was locked, a muscle twitching in it. “I do not like Beth’s cousin.”

“Duncan? Why?”

“It’s rude to pry, Eleanor.” Vincent’s frown deepened. “It…” He shook his head. “Personal reasons I don’t share with just anyone, and especially not you.”

“How flattering, and just when we were starting to get along.” Ellie pointed to a small sidepath. “There’s stairs this way.”

“Thank the heavens. I would almost trade you for Beth Caldwell.” Vincent paused at a bend in the path. “Almost. You don’t stink of rotten flowers.”

“I was about to say the same about you, except that you’re going to smell like a flower. I won the bet.” Ellie tucked the carnation into his lapel and started up the stairs, knowing full well he would try to speed around her, and she held her skirts wide and took her time, just to infuriate him.

“Eleanor,” he complained.

“I’m sorry, would you like to wear a hundred petticoats and haul them up s stairs while in a corset?”

He muttered something under his breath.

Ellie reached the top of the stairs and stepped aside so he could join her. Together they made their way to the refreshment table.

Vincent discreetly pretended to inspect the pastries and kicked the tablecloth.

“Bloody arsehole, what are you doing?” Anthony whispered furiously from under the table.

Ellie raised a glass of lemonade to her lips and pretended to take a sip. “Beth might look for you under there.”

Anthony’s gingery head appeared, framed in creamy linen. “Oh hiya Ellie. I didn’t recognize you from down here.” Her words caught up to him. “And how does Beth know I’m here.”

She looked over at Vincent.

“You told Beth-”

“I didn’t know. I though you outgrew this.”

Anthony crawled and stood, dusting off his knees. “Then where am I supposed to hide? Last time she found me, she spent an hour sprawled on my lap and feeling faint. And her hands did not stay to herself. Oooh, are those cherry?” He picked up a pastry and inspected it.

Vincent shifted uncomfortably as Lord and Lady Caldwell caught sight of him and started heading over to say hello. “There’s a willow tree by the pond. She shouldn’t go looking there for a while.”

“Thanks, Vince. Ellie.” Anthony waved the pastry in a farewell before he turned and disappeared around a duchess with an impossibly tall hat.

“Eleanor.”

“Vincent.”

“I’m going to hide under the table. Don’t mention it to anyone.” He ducked down behind her and vanished.

She calmly sipped her lemonade and smiled politely at Lord and Lady Caldwell as they arrived.

“Ellie, dearie, was that young Vincent that was just over here?” Lady Caldwell looked around her as if Vincent was hiding in her hat. “We did wish to say hello. It’s been forever since we’ve seen the poor darling.”

“I believe he went to go see about finding a quiet place to think.” Ellie smiled sweetly and gestured towards the daisy maze. “I think he went in there.”

“Oh, bugger.” Lord Caldwell frowned. “We’ll find him later. And you tell that uncle of yours that I’ve got a racehorse I think he’d be interested in.”

Ellie watched them leave. She kicked him under the table.

“Ow!”

“They’re gone.”

“You kicked me!”

“You left me with Lord and Lady Caldwell.”

Vincent frowned. “Perhaps you’re correct. Now, if you’d be so kind as to excuse me, Eleanor. I’ve been polite towards you enough for one day.”

“Likewise.”

[carterashsart]

Fashion concepts for the book I’m writing

[tissuepathology]

Pink to Black for Metastatic Breast Cancer

Pink to Black for Metastatic Breast Cancer

Five years ago this month I wrote a piece entitled “Who Will be the Next Susan Goodman Komen? Or Nancy Goodman Brinker?” In that post, in part, I wrote “Speaking for myself I think it stems from the amount of funding put towards “breast cancer centers” that have cropped up in nearly every hospital in some capacity. There may be a “oncology department” that sees cancer patients and then there is a…

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[symboliamag]

What will you find in future issues of Symbolia?

Here's a sneak peek from our next issue. Lolo's Story is about two siblings separated by deportation. Produced by Beth Caldwell, Joel Medina, and Erin Siegal, a team of multimedia journalists, and illustrator Kat Leyh, Lolo's Story features dynamic illustration, video and audio interviews, animation, and more. It's going to be a blockbuster.

We're pretty excited about our next issue, in other words. If you want to get your hands on Lolo's Story the minute it's released, subscribe today via our iPad app or get Symbolia's PDF edition.